Belter

Hello
I've been living in NZ for 18 months now and still finding it difficult to meet friends, I have people in work who I chat with and everyone is ok but I can't seem to meet anyone who I can socialize with. I go to activities outside of work but still no joy. I find maybe my sense of humor clashes with the kiwi sense of humor and they don't get it, I can't seem to get any banter going, has anyone else found making friends tough.

MrsFychan

yes, most of my friends are expats. where are you located?

Justcol

Kiwis will never "get" our sense of humour, it goes straight over their heads

Like MrsF, my friends have been 90% brits and those who are not have spent
a few years in blighty, so they have more of an idea than your average kiwi

Our love of socialising doesnt help, as kiwis are tight fisted bastards who
prefer to get pissed in a cold drafty garage with a filthy sofa, rather than spend
50 bucks on the occasional night out in a warn pub with a little atmosphere
and ambiance.

Mark Smith

I've started to notice this as well.

A Rush And A Push

Have you tried Meetup.com? Social groups for all sorts of interests on there. What part of NZ are you in?

Belter

yeah I see the same things up here, many bars in Paihia and no one will go out they just prefer to drink beer at home.
I'm based in Kerikeri which could be the problem I think I need to move to a better area

Justcol

there are peeps on here living up in kerikeri

nikkijane88

I guess everyone has different experiences. I've been lucky and fitted in really easily... Through my husbands work, my work and just by throwing myself out there. I was concerned about it before coming it but who knew starting over would be the best thing to ever do? Lucky to say this is home

Kotare

Yeah but they laugh at my zimmer frame when I go clubbing.

Places like Paihia are summer tourist oriented, probably dead after 6pm in the winter - the Duke of Marlborough (just over the water in Russell) always seems to be humming.

LauraNotts

I moved to Timaru in July 2013 and Christchurch in March 2014 - I would probably say it was mid 2015 before I had what I would consider good friends. Even the one person I had known before I moved here had been a 'long distance friendship' and actually hanging out took a long time to get properly used to.

When you're in that phase of not having proper and secure friendship networks it can be really hard - you are lonely and the last thing you want is someone saying 'this takes time' but the reality is that it does.

None of my best friends are Brits. I have 4 people who I am particularly close to and a raft of acquaintances around that. I had quite a significant social crisis recently and found nothing but support from people which warmed me to my heart. I was given a room, transport, storage and emotional support when my family were not there to do it for me.

Kiwis are just as human as us, even if they may socialise slightly differently.

scrubbedexpat094

I've had a few good friends over the years, mostly English but they will keep moving away . One couple moved to Welly a few years back, another went to the Sunshine Coast in January, another couple have just gone to Sydney and another dear friend I met through this site died in June .

I have a few Kiwi friends who I love to bits but most of the time I feel pretty lonely here. Knowing how much Kiwis hate having their country criticised, I guard what I say and therefore can't be truly me with them.I miss the "popping round for a cuppa and a chat" friendships I had in the UK. It's always meeting somewhere for a coffee which is okay sometimes but not all the time. I do miss the banter side of things as others have said.

I miss a decent pub to go to. There are lots of nice bars around but they usually have music on so loud and/or the acoustics are poor that I can't hear what anyone is saying.

escapedtonz

We made friends in Welly quite quickly. Majority of them also ex. pats from the UK, Ireland, the US and Canada. A couple of the families were Kiwi and met them through kids in kindy or out motorbiking. A few of the UK families we got friendly with only managed 18 months then did the ping pong pom thing and went back home for one reason or another. The remaining friends became good friends and are still in Welly, but unfortunately we upped sticks and moved to Tauranga leaving everyone behind and leaving us to start all over again which is hard work. We are still in touch with our Welly friends but only get to meet up once, maybe twice a year.
We have made quite a few friends in Tauranga and again one or two families are Kiwi and the rest are like us - ex. pats and mainly English.
Have got some American/English friends moving over to the BOP next month.
Since we have bought a semi-rural section and have started the build process, we are starting to integrate in to the local community and so far everyone seems to be very friendly and Kiwi.

j19fmm

A better area? As in???

psa2570

G'day all, been a while since I was last on here.
I live in Kerikeri, been here for 3 years, and have made loads of friends, 90% of them kiwis. I've met them through work, fishing, Missus' work mates, going along to watch the rugby on Saturdays, etc.
To be honest, I think Bay of Islands is a lovely place and can't see myself living elsewhere for the foreseeable future. Certainly beats most places I lived in England.

Hermanregan99

I have only been here a short while but I completely agree that they really don't get "our sense of humour". I say things which goes right over peoples heads. I have started to watch more what I say now which is hard as I want to be myself and fit in. I have made a couple of friends, one ex Uk and one Australian. I really hope it gets better as I just love to have a good laugh and I don't enjoy the sitting in the garage drinking type thing. We are based in Whakatane which is a really cute little town, but I hope things liven up a bit by summer!