Wow, it seems I turned off my notifications accidentally and have only now seen all of your posts! Thanks so much to everyone for your suggestions. Seems I've missed out on an entertaining argument too

It definitely feels like the honeymoon period is over. kind of makes me question everything at the moment - should we stay here long term? should we go home? I'm guessing this is natural.

Off to Samoa on the weekend for our first holiday since being here, and when we get back will try and think of things we can join initially

Maybe we should have a thread on here for where you live? Or multiple threads for different places so faciliitate meetups?

we used to have a dedicated meet up section but it was decided on the forum clean up to remove it and let people make individual posts in the sheep dip section. so please do feel free to do that

Hi Everyone

I arrive in November to Browns bay in Auckland, does anyone want to share contact details so that when I arrive we are not strangers?

Gale

At the start, it may take time to make friends but don't worry, it'll come

The place we live has a very close community and most all know a face. I'm a member at the golf club there, and the wife is often found at the café and attends a Wednesday evening fitness class there. Also, the sports club hosts a members evening every Thursday which is busy and we know all the faces and say hi. We seldom have people over but when you have a 3 month and a 2 year old to look after, finding time for social things is not as easy as before. Plus, I'm one of these parents that doesn't want their toddler causing mischief in other peoples places or angering the Stuff/Daily Mail readers that pollute the country.

You'll be fine!!!

Oooo which one is that Tom? I'm close to Pegasus and always up for trying new classes

Pmd you about your wife's class. It's the one at the school isn't it?

I've moved out my old area and into one where I know no-one a few times now. As an introvert it's hard to sometimes go out and be jovial but I think it's important to try.

Some of the things that have worked for me are doing voluntary work at organizations or events in my areas of interest. It's a 'safe space' for a shy person as you're mainly taking over the counter or helping with work and chatting about that. Don't try to force things, let them evolve naturally. Helping at endurance rides means I'm on a check point so get to see lots of faces, chat a bit, people get to know my face and I'm not a stranger then when I attend a more social event.

Joining FB groups has helped me a lot too. I can lurk for a while and see if it's a club I'd want to be part of, see who they main people are and then introduce myself and get to know other members before meeting them physically. It saves a lot of the initial awkwardness and social dance of first meetings.

Something that has really helped me recently is the crafting meet up clubs that are springing up a lot in the UK. Do you have a similar enthusiastic thing happening in NZ? I go along and sew, crochet or knit and let the conversation flow around me, joining in as and when I feel confident enough to. Asking for help with tricky things like new stitches also helps as it breaks barriers down.

ETA race or geographic origin has always been a secondary factor for me when moving to a new area. I've yet to live anywhere, even in parochial rural areas, where I've not been given a chance to show I'm an OK human being. That chance has been shorter and more skeptical in some areas than others but I've never yet been shunned by everyone in every situation in a new place. I guess I'm just lucky.

It does take time, others have mentioned the two year mark and that's what I find. I start to make friends after six months but only tend to feel fully integrated with one or two close best friends after a couple of years.

I'm hoping my UK skills stand me in good stead for when/if we make it over to NZ.

Oooh, nice. Browns Bay is sort of a hub of the area - has a lot of cafes, a few pubs, places to eat etc. Nice library, which has lots of little extra things like clubs, baby mornings and so on. There is a Sunday Market and an overall good community vibe. It is quite a buzzing little place.

I think it takes place at the gymnasium around 7pm and lasts for about 30 minutes to an hour. It's a quick group thing that her and a few of her buddies have started doing. The general manager of the sports club got in touch with the gym owner to design some workouts for them to do at that time. He'll pop in to see how they're doing from time to time as he has some inductions around that time. You'll probably have to become a member to take part with them.


They thought about doing the circuits that someone has started to do on Wednesday evenings at the school but chose to do their own at the gym since they can use the facility there free of charge.

Cool Thanks Think I'll give the one at the school a try as I'm not a member of the gym.

We were down In Brown's Bay on Sunday, decided to head there for lunch. Even though the weather wasn't great, cloud, rain with some sun, the place was quite busy. Think you'll find it quite easy to meet people. Don't get down to the shore much these days but OH and I have said that we must get out more and do some fresh exploring. Sort of got stuck in a rut of late.
Maybe arrange a meet-up nearer the time.

Just get down to Speakers Corner (expat pub on the beach) and get amongst it, the Northerners congregate around the barrel and the southerners congregate around the other end.

Some of my mates are regulars down there, it's full of characters.

I'll second that! Speaker's Corner in Brown's Bay is a good little hangout for expats. I'm based not very far from there so drop me a message when you get here. Can't say I'll paint the rosiest of pictures though as I'm in the "desperate to go home" camp but I'm happy to meet up with a friendly face to help make the transition easier :-)

I can sort of see where Snap Shot is coming from, One word answers is the classic, Hard work. Easy in the UK to make friends after 9 months maybe one of two half decent sort of mates but not like back home, hardest thing about coming here that and gawd awful driving standards. Snap Shot needs to get off her butt and put her foot down, won't move because of a cat? That's a cop out. In life you have to have guts and it seems like she hasn't got the guts to make that change or force that change from her husband. Make the move to Wellington it is a very good city with a good feel. If your not happy in life you have to change it, one life, live it.