I think but im not sure
Nov 14th 2013, 5:28 pm
#46
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,994
Re: I think but im not sure
When folk choose NZ due to a desire to get away from 'going to the dogs' UK, and to give the kids 'a better life', I can't help but feel a bit anxious for them. We chose NZ cos we'd fallen for it while visiting here and cos we have family here and cos we actively wanted an adventure, were young and thought we had nothing to lose (we were wrong there). We were in rented in the UK with no decent work prospects on the horizon - in many ways NZ has provided very well for us, but I think our circumstances are not that common.
It's good you're keeping your house - buy return flights too, because I bet within a year you'll be desperate to see your daughter and grandchild again, and then you can always buy returns again.
It's good you're keeping your house - buy return flights too, because I bet within a year you'll be desperate to see your daughter and grandchild again, and then you can always buy returns again.
Nov 14th 2013, 5:37 pm
#47
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: I think but im not sure
People who are over there but dont want to be maybe need the same reality check when thinking about coming back , The government is screwing the country up , The nhs is on ots way out , the corruption over here is incredible , My sister is a police woman and often fears for her life as police are no longer respected , Drugs are a common thing now if someone has not tried or took on a regular basis they are an exception , Schools are being merged all over the place and they take a really good school and mix it with a really bad school and hope for the best . Even the nice areas are no longer or wont be very nice for long and quite frankly we might as well put Joey Essex (Towie ) In place of the next prime minister and turn the Dingles in as the royal family ,
Nov 14th 2013, 6:02 pm
#48
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Location: Was Torbay, NZ now North Yorkshire UK
Posts: 813
Re: I think but im not sure
We moved there for 6 years, we wanted something better for our 3 children, hoped for the first time ever to have more money. With very little family felt we had nothing to lose. We researched the schooling etc and decided to try our luck.
Its not for everyone and it wasn't for us. We were wrong on just about everything.
If you can afford it and love it that's great, if moneys tight and its not quite what you hoped for you can find it a lot harder to leave there as finances can soon take a tumble.
We have returned this year to the UK, its so not how you have described it for us. Apart from the government. We picked a brand new area and have started again.
Good Luck, just remember, the grass isn't always greener
Nov 14th 2013, 8:36 pm
#49
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 38,625
Re: I think but im not sure
Yup on many counts.
I always wonder where some people are living when I read about the UK being the pits of all hell & no hope. This just isn't the case for our family and friends living there.
Cross the world because you feel the pull to do that . If the issues you have with the UK annoy/upset you there , then they may well annoy/upset you here too.
I always wonder where some people are living when I read about the UK being the pits of all hell & no hope. This just isn't the case for our family and friends living there.
Cross the world because you feel the pull to do that . If the issues you have with the UK annoy/upset you there , then they may well annoy/upset you here too.
Nov 14th 2013, 9:38 pm
#51
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Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Peterborough, Cambridgeshire
Posts: 2,744
Re: I think but im not sure
Ok firstly 3 job offers but meetings on Monday , That is why they asked for a decision by Monday . Its a lot to take in and i have got to admit not 100% convinced and a lot will depend on the 10,000 questions i ask on Monday , Chad is not a risk taker either , we are looking for a better way of life for the kids , People who are over there but dont want to be maybe need the same reality check when thinking about coming back , The government is screwing the country up , The nhs is on ots way out , the corruption over here is incredible , My sister is a police woman and often fears for her life as police are no longer respected , Drugs are a common thing now if someone has not tried or took on a regular basis they are an exception , Schools are being merged all over the place and they take a really good school and mix it with a really bad school and hope for the best . Even the nice areas are no longer or wont be very nice for long and quite frankly we might as well put Joey Essex (Towie ) In place of the next prime minister and turn the Dingles in as the royal family , There is good and bad in every country i suppose and hey who is to say we wont have an earth quake over here , Things are definitely changing . Thank you so much for every bodies input and advice , I don't think you realise how valuable the info is especially when your coming in blind .. I am going to print this page off and go through it all with my oh tonight , Its always good to have a mix of good and bad it adds a bit more balance and reality which can dissapear after spending hours trawling the net looking for an answer to a simple question .
Why did we come ? I'm married to a New Zealander who was having his mid life crisis and I came along for the ride. His mother and sister live in Auckland so there's a few duty visits, er, I mean family visits to be taken care of whilst we are living in NZ too.
Our return to Britain will be guided by my husband's job location. We've agreed that it probably won't be where we came from. I'd like to do what Spacecake799 has done i.e. return to Britain to a new district and start again/continue where we left off. I understand the next chapter should be a new chapter. Don't try to go back to what you had, 'cause you can't. Moving back to Britain should also be seen as moving on.
Anyway
Last edited by Snap Shot; Nov 14th 2013 at 9:46 pm. Reason: Kent is a county not a town
Nov 14th 2013, 10:33 pm
#52
Looking for my marbles.
Joined: Jul 2013
Location: durham, durham, England
Posts: 730
Re: I think but im not sure
Looking back, which is easy to do, I would ask myself the question: Can I afford to live the 'supposed lifestyle' here. Eg. Sailing, riding, sea sports, owning a 4 wheel drive, eating out, lovely house?
If the answer is No then I wouldn't recommend it. You'll find your miles away from home living the same life if not worse than you are in the UK.
If the answer is No then I wouldn't recommend it. You'll find your miles away from home living the same life if not worse than you are in the UK.
Nov 15th 2013, 6:24 am
#53
Account Closed
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 755
Re: I think but im not sure
End of the day it's down to you
Just if you really think the UK is going down due to the government, a word of advice - National are not the best at all! They're our version of the Conservative Party
I just hope that you don't experience what i've had to from EQC and then you'll see the downside of National when Brownlee (the rebuild minister) buries his head in the sand thinking it's all gravy - when that's way far from reality. They manipulate figures here as well, for example EQC missed out 30,000 complaints to make them good.
Plenty of schools have been merged in Canterbury. The education minister is not popular round these neck of the woods
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Just if you really think the UK is going down due to the government, a word of advice - National are not the best at all! They're our version of the Conservative Party
I just hope that you don't experience what i've had to from EQC and then you'll see the downside of National when Brownlee (the rebuild minister) buries his head in the sand thinking it's all gravy - when that's way far from reality. They manipulate figures here as well, for example EQC missed out 30,000 complaints to make them good.
Plenty of schools have been merged in Canterbury. The education minister is not popular round these neck of the woods
.
Nov 15th 2013, 6:44 am
#54
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Location: Wellington - I miss Castles, the NHS & English school system
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Nov 15th 2013, 7:01 am
#55
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 184
Re: I think but im not sure
Ok firstly 3 job offers but meetings on Monday , That is why they asked for a decision by Monday . Its a lot to take in and i have got to admit not 100% convinced and a lot will depend on the 10,000 questions i ask on Monday , Chad is not a risk taker either , we are looking for a better way of life for the kids , People who are over there but dont want to be maybe need the same reality check when thinking about coming back , The government is screwing the country up , The nhs is on ots way out , the corruption over here is incredible , My sister is a police woman and often fears for her life as police are no longer respected , Drugs are a common thing now if someone has not tried or took on a regular basis they are an exception , Schools are being merged all over the place and they take a really good school and mix it with a really bad school and hope for the best . Even the nice areas are no longer or wont be very nice for long and quite frankly we might as well put Joey Essex (Towie ) In place of the next prime minister and turn the Dingles in as the royal family , There is good and bad in every country i suppose and hey who is to say we wont have an earth quake over here , Things are definitely changing . Thank you so much for every bodies input and advice , I don't think you realise how valuable the info is especially when your coming in blind .. I am going to print this page off and go through it all with my oh tonight , Its always good to have a mix of good and bad it adds a bit more balance and reality which can dissapear after spending hours trawling the net looking for an answer to a simple question .
Can you still afford to feed,(an average healthy diet including dairy and meat) clothe your kids and buy a house in England?
Then you are very lucky I say.
Last edited by shocked kiwi; Nov 15th 2013 at 7:10 am.
Nov 15th 2013, 7:22 am
#56
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Posts: 450
Re: I think but im not sure
Im wondering whether oceane has already decided to give the idea away after reading this thread. And i wouldnt blame her. What a shame. Christchurch could have really done with her husbands skills to help rebuild after the earthquake and her family may well have had a very good life here.
Nov 15th 2013, 12:32 pm
#57
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Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 77
Re: I think but im not sure
Here's how an expat Kiwi now sees Wales upon returning back to the UK with her family.
Many expat Kiwis, including myself, often have to revisit one or more times to get a feel for the place and the people and work through our own process about reacquainting ourselves with somewhere all Kiwis think of as 'home', but often wouldn't want to live there. Sometimes you have to go back to discover how much you've changed and how things you once took for granted in New Zealand all those years ago, now seem less desirable. One person's space and natural beauty is another's dull small town which closes early in the evening and nothing of interest rarely seems to happen.
Please take this the right way, but it seems to me that your decision-making process, possibly because it's hurried and isn't as well-researched as the time allows, isn't based on as firm ground as might be ideal and that your perceptions of the UK aren't necessarily the entire picture. It also seems to me that you're trying desperately hard, casting around for reasons that might make the grass appear greener elsewhere by running the UK down. For that reason, if I were you, I'd be extremely careful about not overcommitting and spending too much money upfront so that you can set aside money for returning if it doesn't work out. I'd also set up a short list of goals or conditions, targets or things that have to be met and are right for everyone in the family and then look at that list after you've been in New Zealand for perhaps 12 months and then at 18 or 24 months. Also consider the slim but real possibility of additional stress and faultlines being added your marriage that may prove difficult to overcome. For instance, my parent's marriage fell apart through various stresses and strains, when they emigrated with the family to another country back in the 1970s and things didn't work out workwise and financially. One of them ended up leaving the other and taking the kids back with them.
I'd be the last person to unequivocally say 'don't do it', because I took a similar leap of faith in coming to the UK many years ago. It's an admirable quality to want to explore the world and test yourself. However, I was young, single and without children, so whatever the outcome, I wasn't responsible for others. The only future that hinged on my decision was my own and I didn't have many bridges to burn. It seemed a natural progression, a huge step upwards by leaving New Zealand.
I think New Zealand can be a spectacular and wonderful place to live if you're the right kind of people in the right kind of circumstances. Some come to it with considerable advantages, some take to it and things fall into place, some chafe against its very real restrictions, some just aren't suited to the kind of country and society it is... and unfortunately, some have rose-tinted spectacles before they make the leap.
I can't find it now, but one of the first threads I read on this New Zealand forum, was titled something like 'This wasn't supposed to happen, but we're now poor!'.
Something to bear in mind.
Many expat Kiwis, including myself, often have to revisit one or more times to get a feel for the place and the people and work through our own process about reacquainting ourselves with somewhere all Kiwis think of as 'home', but often wouldn't want to live there. Sometimes you have to go back to discover how much you've changed and how things you once took for granted in New Zealand all those years ago, now seem less desirable. One person's space and natural beauty is another's dull small town which closes early in the evening and nothing of interest rarely seems to happen.
Please take this the right way, but it seems to me that your decision-making process, possibly because it's hurried and isn't as well-researched as the time allows, isn't based on as firm ground as might be ideal and that your perceptions of the UK aren't necessarily the entire picture. It also seems to me that you're trying desperately hard, casting around for reasons that might make the grass appear greener elsewhere by running the UK down. For that reason, if I were you, I'd be extremely careful about not overcommitting and spending too much money upfront so that you can set aside money for returning if it doesn't work out. I'd also set up a short list of goals or conditions, targets or things that have to be met and are right for everyone in the family and then look at that list after you've been in New Zealand for perhaps 12 months and then at 18 or 24 months. Also consider the slim but real possibility of additional stress and faultlines being added your marriage that may prove difficult to overcome. For instance, my parent's marriage fell apart through various stresses and strains, when they emigrated with the family to another country back in the 1970s and things didn't work out workwise and financially. One of them ended up leaving the other and taking the kids back with them.
I'd be the last person to unequivocally say 'don't do it', because I took a similar leap of faith in coming to the UK many years ago. It's an admirable quality to want to explore the world and test yourself. However, I was young, single and without children, so whatever the outcome, I wasn't responsible for others. The only future that hinged on my decision was my own and I didn't have many bridges to burn. It seemed a natural progression, a huge step upwards by leaving New Zealand.
I think New Zealand can be a spectacular and wonderful place to live if you're the right kind of people in the right kind of circumstances. Some come to it with considerable advantages, some take to it and things fall into place, some chafe against its very real restrictions, some just aren't suited to the kind of country and society it is... and unfortunately, some have rose-tinted spectacles before they make the leap.
I can't find it now, but one of the first threads I read on this New Zealand forum, was titled something like 'This wasn't supposed to happen, but we're now poor!'.
Something to bear in mind.
Nov 15th 2013, 12:59 pm
#58
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 197
Re: I think but im not sure
I'm going to be brutally honest here. Speaking only for myself, in all conscience, I can't wholeheartedly say 'do it, everything's going to be brilliant!', because:
A) I'm not the one to live with the consequences and...
B) I'm not even able to offer any support of any kind, whether here or in person in New Zealand.
If it's something that you both, your husband and you, feel absolutely compelled and driven to do because it's been preying on your mind for years, then scratching that itch is completely understandable. It could be a massive and amazing adventure. Could be the best thing you've ever done. Just plan carefully, building potential off-ramps in advance in case you ever need to pull off the road you've taken.B) I'm not even able to offer any support of any kind, whether here or in person in New Zealand.
All the best.
Nov 15th 2013, 1:03 pm
#59
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Joined: Nov 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 77
Re: I think but im not sure
Im wondering whether oceane has already decided to give the idea away after reading this thread. And i wouldnt blame her. What a shame. Christchurch could have really done with her husbands skills to help rebuild after the earthquake and her family may well have had a very good life here.
Tea or wine at the ready it could take a while ....
7 years ago <my OH> decided that he would leave his job for Airbus after spending 8 years there working shifts and painting and decorating in the evenings and weekends to build up a client base , (Painting is his original trade ) He bought a van and all the £10,000 worth of bloody tools he said he needed and off he went , He has quite a loyal client base and had a lot of work until ... All his clients work dried up as they then all had perfect houses , he relied then by word of mouth which has served him really well , He is good at selling himself , ie went for an op on his knee and ended up decorating the surgeons house and because he is a bit of a perfectionist he always got repeat business and recommended , Now most people are a bit less well off should we say , the first thing they cut back on is things that they can potentially do themselves so although work is steady he can then have 2 months of nothing so we are back to square 1 , He also has to go where the work is for example at the moment he is commuting daily to Wolverhampton (About 2 hours away) leaving at 5.30am and getting in around 8.30pm . He will do 7 days a week because he has to whilst the work is there then the work will slack off and the money made from this will have to last when there is no work , Hence needing a balance .
We live in a nice area , a small village in north wales in a nice cul de sac with a nice 4 bed house and a nice 4x4 and nice kids and nice neighbours .... Something is missing , Oh yes .. . Were always chasing our tales and <OH's> customers are a nightmare like all of us these days penny pinching only pay invoices after being asked repeatedly (Waited 4 months for a payment ) and this is not unusual . I do scheme management for an agency but as all of the housing associations have lost there budgets im travelling to Manchester or Liverpool and thats when there is work because they are losing budgets everywhere , Then i leave at 7 and get in at 7 , I have had nothing since july . get a different job !!! because we live in quite an isolated area there is not really much work , Im not a snob and will do pretty much anything
Within reason . We do want a bit of an adventure i suppose but the main reason for considering this time is about 6 years ago <my OH> was offered a sponsorship in Australia and we didnt take it , We have both regretted this ever since , But then we got offered NZ about 3 years ago and have kept it in mind , We have been researching it really since then but have now decided that we really need to make a decision as we have now been approached again ... My eldest is now married and has her own life in Scotland with a baby girl on the way , <-- snipped--> , I think if we are going to do it really it has to be now !!! My <OH's> family are seen maybe once evry 6 mths if we contact them ! Mine we are fairly close to but the pull is not there to be honest ... Whew there you go . We do have a fairly good life here if you look at it in that respect , Maybe we are bored and dont want to live with what ifs .(mod note: personal details edited out within this post.)
Last edited by BEVS; Nov 17th 2013 at 7:27 pm. Reason: editing out all personal details.
Nov 15th 2013, 4:46 pm
#60
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,285
Re: I think but im not sure
Despite it being financially fine for me, I could see that I would not like to be 'trapped in NZ' long-term....in fact getting out after 5 years was exactly the right timing for me. Time to end 'Groundhog Day'. Do you love Rugby and hate shopping? If so that would help lol.
You really cannot understand the issues of geographical isolation until you get here and are out of 'honeymoon period - could last 2 years or more if no financial worries'.
Couple the isolation with money worries and it is a recipe for marital breakdown and depression. I suffered neither of these but plenty of people who post on here, have and do.
In my gut I feel you could be making a big financial mistake - Kiwi agents/ employers like to move goalposts and mislead - if you are doing it because the UK is 'going to the dogs' when it clearly is not despite the Condems, then for sure that is for the wrong reason.
I was happy to move to Wellington 'sight unseen' given that it was 'all expenses paid' for us and no need to burn boats in UK, but there is no way on this earth I would want to move to a post-earthquake Christchurch, having had all that experience of NZ. I would feel irresponsible to let you think that you would likely find a better life there, since you asked for opinions. The grass is not always greener etc etc