I have just had a what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity.

Lets Buy Tasmania.

Bear with me all will become clear.

The Aussies dont want it.
It already has a climate alot like the UK, but a bit warmer. Ideal for your average pom.
It has a city already.
Build a Marks and Sparks, a Tesco and a Next
Build a couple of pubs out of old stone and stick an old pushbike on the wall with a few hand pull pumps and jar of picked eggs at one side of town.
On the other side build lots of things called bars with shiney stainless steel fittings.
Move the British tabloid press there and a Jaffa Cake factory.
Set up a shop for shoes, coats, tea bags, and vacuums.
Make everyone re take a driving test 17 times until we are happy they can deal with roundabouts. (obviously except us, we are all perfect)
Open a Indian Resturant.
Build a big old castle, then kick it over, so we have something to drag the kids round at the weekend.
Employ full time entertainers to pop by daily to ensure that we dont get bored.

We could even get Tom Baker to work on customs and call it little britain.

Not Britain, but with everything there is in Britain. Perfect.

Sorted

Have you lot been eating those mushrooms from out in the garden?

I guess we could call the inhabitants

Tam Poms









.......I'll get my coat.

better still, leave it exactly as it is, fill it with arrogant arseholes, and call it New Zealand?

No you can stay... I like that

Where will you get all these arrogant arseholes? Maybe Queensland?

That is out of order mate.

Not a chance, they are all really lovely people here - I feel really at home. Doubt you would fit in though. Sorry.

Oh I see, it only works one way!

I,m sorry kids but i agree with Mr Sheene there are some complete pricks here

Neil

I think I've finally figured out what a "troll" is on forums.

I'm sure you're right, I wouldn't fit in at all if they are all like you

What is is with New Zealand? Your own people are leaving, there is a massive skills gap in your Hospitals, your Schools etc which are filled with people from the UK. If all the UK born residents left tomorrow, New Zealand would be completely screwed! Yet you have the arrogance to tell them to leave?

Australia is a world apart from NZ in the way it appreciates the skills you can bring. We are treated with respect and dignity here, something which was sorely lacking in NZ and was one of the main reasons for leaving.

You had better wise up NZ - you need people from the UK far more than they need you.

Too true! Not all are, but quite a few...

As do I

... and something I look forward to experiencing for myself!