HURRICANE HITS ESSEX
Jan 24th 2009, 1:47 pm
#1
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Morecambe
Posts: 1,659
HURRICANE HITS ESSEX
Sorry about all the threads but i am on a roll.
A major hurricane (designated "Shazza") and an earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit Essex in the early hours of Wednesday with its epicentre in Basildon.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "faaackinell".
The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.
Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.
Essex FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon.
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."
Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
-- Fila or Burberry baseball caps
-- Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
-- Shell suits (female)
-- White sport socks
-- Rockport boots
-- Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
-- Microwave meals
-- Tins of baked beans
-- Ice cream
-- Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9
£5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
**Breaking news**
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alcho-pop
'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked,
" Bleedin' ROMFORD" said the girl, "wossat gotta do wiv you?"
A major hurricane (designated "Shazza") and an earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit Essex in the early hours of Wednesday with its epicentre in Basildon.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "faaackinell".
The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.
Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.
Essex FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon.
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."
Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
-- Fila or Burberry baseball caps
-- Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
-- Shell suits (female)
-- White sport socks
-- Rockport boots
-- Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
-- Microwave meals
-- Tins of baked beans
-- Ice cream
-- Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9
£5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
**Breaking news**
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alcho-pop
'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked,
" Bleedin' ROMFORD" said the girl, "wossat gotta do wiv you?"
Jan 24th 2009, 2:00 pm
#2
RETIRED ;-))
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Benalmadena Pueblo,Spain
Posts: 20,156
Re: HURRICANE HITS ESSEX
Bit old innit ?
Jan 25th 2009, 10:42 am
#4
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Morecambe
Posts: 1,659
Re: HURRICANE HITS ESSEX
Thank You.
I strive to bring a bit of fun into peoples lives and all i get is ridiculed and criticised. I feel that i am wasting my time. I think i will go and end it all. I know some of you will miss me and that...................
WHO GIVES A SHIT? HA HA! THEIR COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY HA HA.
I strive to bring a bit of fun into peoples lives and all i get is ridiculed and criticised. I feel that i am wasting my time. I think i will go and end it all. I know some of you will miss me and that...................
WHO GIVES A SHIT? HA HA! THEIR COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY HA HA.
Jan 25th 2009, 2:38 pm
#5
Home and Happy
Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,814
Re: HURRICANE HITS ESSEX
Thank You.
I strive to bring a bit of fun into peoples lives and all i get is ridiculed and criticised. I feel that i am wasting my time. I think i will go and end it all. I know some of you will miss me and that...................
WHO GIVES A SHIT? HA HA! THEIR COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY HA HA.
I strive to bring a bit of fun into peoples lives and all i get is ridiculed and criticised. I feel that i am wasting my time. I think i will go and end it all. I know some of you will miss me and that...................
WHO GIVES A SHIT? HA HA! THEIR COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY HA HA.
Jan 25th 2009, 10:52 pm
#6
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Inglewood in New Plymouth
Posts: 867
Re: HURRICANE HITS ESSEX
Sorry about all the threads but i am on a roll.
A major hurricane (designated "Shazza") and an earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit Essex in the early hours of Wednesday with its epicentre in Basildon.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "faaackinell".
The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.
Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.
Essex FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon.
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."
Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
-- Fila or Burberry baseball caps
-- Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
-- Shell suits (female)
-- White sport socks
-- Rockport boots
-- Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
-- Microwave meals
-- Tins of baked beans
-- Ice cream
-- Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9
£5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
**Breaking news**
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alcho-pop
'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked,
" Bleedin' ROMFORD" said the girl, "wossat gotta do wiv you?"
A major hurricane (designated "Shazza") and an earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit Essex in the early hours of Wednesday with its epicentre in Basildon.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "faaackinell".
The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.
Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.
Essex FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon.
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."
Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
-- Fila or Burberry baseball caps
-- Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
-- Shell suits (female)
-- White sport socks
-- Rockport boots
-- Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
-- Microwave meals
-- Tins of baked beans
-- Ice cream
-- Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9
£5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
**Breaking news**
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alcho-pop
'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked,
" Bleedin' ROMFORD" said the girl, "wossat gotta do wiv you?"
caz
