mrsmnz

Maybe it’s just the gloom of the winter but I’ve found myself feeling increasingly home sick. I don’t know what for though.

I’m not close to my family back in the Uk and have been happily settled here for almost 7 years with hardly ever a thought of the UK. Increasingly over the last few months this has been a slow build. Am I just fed up with the weather? The minimised career opps? The continuing rise in cost of living? Am I just fed up with NZ or do I really miss the UK?

Had anyone else experienced a random bout of ‘home’sickness? Anyone else a bit disillusioned with NZ… ? I suspect it is not much better back in the Uk and am not sure I am seriously giving thought to moving, my kids are very happy and settled here. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice or experienced the same?

Big Glen

Chin up
weve been here for 12 years and never had a doubt about emigrating from the uk.
Im sure you will agree this is an amazing country . Compared to the uk we are living in the right place.
There always a trade off any nowhere is perfect.

Moses2013

Not in NZ myself now, but this can always happen regardless if it's NZ, UK or any other country. Sometimes it's homesickness and for others it might be a sign they are just unhappy and are looking for the next adventure. Just because people move to one country doesn't mean they will never move abroad again. Even people who hated the UK can move back to a different location or might rediscover the UK. When I was younger I always wanted to move away from Europe and now I realise I hadn't really even explored what's on our doorstep and appreciate what we have here. We've been in the Rep of Ireland nearly 12 years now, still doesn't mean we'll never move within Europe again. Good luck whatever you decide.

Justcol

15 years in NZ and the occasional homesickness pangs stopped a few years ago.
My kids are grown and in Europe and I miss them, but I have no pull to the UK anymore.
The only way I'm going back now is if I end up a widower, then I will return, and I think having that in the back of my mind is enough

brits1

I think a lot of people feel like this at times even those who have never migrated) sometimes that feeling comes and goes and for others it’s always there, try and “feel” why you started to feel this way, if it’s boredom try new things ie take up a new hobby/activity/education , is it because your children are getting older and do not need you so much so you have more spare time to “mull/dwell” on things, are you having “itchy feet” wanting to move, sometimes this helps even if it’s a suburb away, is your job boring you if so try and change your job or even work duties, it could be that it is the winter and that can make most places feel “dull”. We returned to the UK in 2010 and for us it’s been fab, we choose to eventually return to the UK as at the time find Australia a bit same old same old and we had been in Aus for 7years before we really stayed to get icky feet, it took a few more years before we made the return and at the time we were not homesick or really missing family etc and we all were living a good life in Aus on paper it would of looked perfect, somethings are just not explainable. Have a chat with your partner and friends this might help to make you feel better and see things in a different light. Good luck

Moses2013

Good points and you are right that some things are just not explainable. I actually have a friend who had a good life in Australia and he didn't miss Ireland at all, but over the years he realised that it had become extremely difficult for him to get on a plane. It wasn't really homesickness but the more he thought about getting on a plane for weddings, funerals it only got worse and was doing his head in. Some people might not understand, but he's back here now and happy. I actually feel similar now and am kind of glad I'm not too far away, since Covid the thought of flying freaks me out even more.

shuvit

Yes, we are 6 years in and I do get the occasional pangs of home sickness
I think when you are planning a big move like we have done, you discuss the 'what ifs', what if someone gets really sick, what stage do you plan to make the emergency trip back - having plans in place like that puts your mind at ease - Luckily myself and my husband have not had to make a trip like this - yet!
For me its the smaller things - I can't nip around to my mum and dads for a cup of tea, sisters and brother can't pop around to raid my cupboards.
I've missed the birth of my sisters baby boy and my brothers baby girl - I see the videos of them having their first steps and I think of all the little things I am missing, the videos and photos aren't the same as being there.
My major pangs of homesickness normally starts when I have a sh!%%y couple of days in work, I just need someone to chat to. So for me thats when the video calls come in to play, normally to one of my sisters, nothing like being brought down to earth and being released from your own 'feeling sorry for myself' thoughts.
The tears of self doubt change to tears of laughter after hearing the family gossip that cannot be typed on the 'Family Chat'.
I can't see us ever moving back, but I wish money wasn't an obstacle to enable us to see our family more!!

brits1

This sounded like a friend of mine from a few years ago now, when she was fed up or missing her family she use to Skype her friends and family in Scotland one call though went a bit off course and an argument incurred when the family member said that she (my friend only ever phoned to vent about her life in Aus and then at the same time how wonderful life was in Aus was and she was just fed up with it…the phone call ended with (from the family member) if it’s so wonderful why are you moaning…..needless to say a slight fallout happened..to be fair my friend and her family eventually moved to Canada and the phones calls are now just happy ones lol

Pom_Chch

I think sometimes life just feels a bit meh. Just a bit dull and wondering what's next, like you need to break the status quo. Could be mixed in with home sickness or just wanting something different but not necessarily going back to the UK. As said in this post I think a lot of people feel this way from time to time regardless of whether you've emigrated or not. The pandemic certainly hasn't helped!

​​​I've felt a bit like this lately so went on holiday and signed up for some extra studies (God help me!!) Now feeling brighter and looking forward to new adventures. Maybe you just need a wee shake up! 🙂

Bermondsey George

Nope not me. I have been here since February 2006 and have never been homesick.Who in their right mind would prefer England as it is right now to NZ?

Tom H

I'll give you the cost of living definitely as I don't think that is helping anyone at the moment. It's a bit of a sickener when you see over 70% of your fortnightly income go straight on the mortgage. Plus rates have gone up, fuel prices up again, food prices increasing continuously, it's not surprising that many have just got fed up of it all on top of the 'market forces' comments each time something goes up.

I had one horrible bout of homesickness in 2015 when I went back with work for a week. I've visited 3 times since then and don't have that desire to move back that I did in 2015. I'll never rule it out though, If I was offered the opportunity to return permanently, I'd do so monstly for the kids so they can see both grandparents more often

Reading your post, it does sound like a bit of winter blues. The North Island has had some shocking weather so far this year sadly as well which isn't helping matters. It isn't just you by the way, there's many Kiwis' that are also looking at moving to Australia or Europe.

spouse of scouse

Bloody hell, that's a scary percentage of your income to have to pay on your mortgage. Buggered if I know how governments expect people to thrive if they have to give all their time, effort, skills and most of their earnings to just keeping a roof over their heads.

Moses2013

I suppose one could say the same about Auckland and many choose to live there. I'd rather live near Porthcurno in England than being stuck in Auckland, but NZ is not just Auckland and the UK is not just England. I have never been homesick either, people will have their reasons regardless if we like it or not.

Bermondsey George

"Near" is a very subjective word but yes I agree .........I would also rather live IN Porthcurno than Auckland, providing of course we are comparing apples with apples in the sense of house size, cost and somewhere to park.
In many cases those ex-pats that are homesick and have moved or are thinking of moving back to the UK, are feeling that way because of the draw of seeing their grandchildren or wanting to share their own children's growing up with their friends and families. Fortunately I do not have kids so I refer you back to my previous post.

BEVS

Just to note that neither Chocolate Eclair, MoonRiver or myself fit into that category as none of us have children .