9brownbear99

Just feel so home sick , all i can think about is going back home but we know that as soon as we get back to the Uk we will regret it .
Cant seem to adjust to the Kiwi lifestyle , the laid back lifestyle , even after a year down here in Dunedin i still compare New Zealand to the Uk .
Dont get me wrong i truly love this place but just cant adjust to it , its not the people out here as they are all so friendly and would help out if they could even my employer is so helpful , just cant get over this home sickness.

irish_eyes

I too was hit badly with homesickness and as awful as it will sound and I'm sure you just dont want to hear it - You must just give it time. Or as my saying goes - give time, time. Sit down and have a good think about what it is you actually cant adjust to. Try and figure out what has made you feel this way and how you can put it right.

Its perfectly normal how your feeling, its how you choose to deal with it that counts tho!

Good luck!

scrubbedexpat094

Hey Brownbear with lots of 9's. I'm really sorry to hear that. I think most of us feel homesick at sometime to a greater or lesser degree. It's a horrible feeling & just something that has to be got through. I'm afraid I don't have any great words of wisdom (but hopefully someone else will ) but just want you to know that I know how you feel. I have been there.

It is hard to stop making comparisons between the two countries, & I'm assuming that the UK fairs better in these comparisons for you. It's natural to do this but it does keep you in the wrong frame of mind. Maybe you will have to keep checking yourself when you find yourself doing it, stop the comparison & think of a positive about NZ.

Maybe you need to head back to the UK for a holiday just to re-affirm your reasons for coming here. Maybe you're in the wrong bit of NZ for you. As I said, no great words of wisdom from me

Good luck

scrubbedexpat094

Phew! Thank goodness for irish_eyes

j19fmm

Talking of irish-eyes, you need to read her fantastic, honest thread about wanting to go 'home' . 'I'm an irish girl get me outta here' is what you're looking for.
She won't tell you herself but it's flipping brilliant and totally heart on the sleeve stuff.
A list sounds good, pros and cons for both countries.
Good luck

nero

Sorry to hear this - it isn't much fun. We found that after a year moving from our rental into our own house helped us feel alot more settled and content. This was then increased further by a trip back to the UK earlier this year. It made us put into context why we had left the UK etc. But it is very different for everyone - sometimes the lack of family and friends and the support they give you especially with young children can be a killer.

Try and make a list of pros and cons and if you can take a trip back to the UK. This will either help reduce the home sickness or confirm that you are indeed in the wrong country.

Even as happy and content as we are there are still days and times when we wish we were back in the UK. Good luck and I hope everything turns out the way you want it to be.

Genesis

I went through quite a bit of this in the first 2-24 months..not on the surface but deep down I felt like it. I have always been happy here....over 4 years on even more so. It is possible that you are still adjusting like I was.

NZ is the place for me..even through all the 'homesickness' After about 2- 2.5 years it went completely. A trip back to the old country helped on a subliminal level. I could not wait to get back here. I have sooooooooooooo outgrown the UK, whilst I appreciate it has shed loads over NZ in many, many ways they do not make up for all the many, many, many pros that are life in NZ. I hope like me you will feel less and less homesick. 12 months......you are not out of the emigree apprenticeship yet!

Charismatic

We can organise a team of British folk to come round to your house with baseball caps on and steal your DVD player and TV if that helps, we'll even tell the police that when you ring they should direct you online to fill out an incident form .

irish_eyes

irish_eyes

ronnie don

Hi Brownbear we also moved to dunedin April 2008 me hubby and a 5yr old and 1 yr old (born here) and yes I have found it very very difficult at first...but now after speaking to a friend who I used to go to school with in England (who lives in Kapiti Coast) he has made me see the light along with my little girl loving school and thriving and the chilled out life style we live. Yes I cried and cried all the time and was soooooo homesick thinking that I was missing things is probably the real reason but now I realise there is more to life than that and all I can say to you the easiest way I deal with it is that the UK is only a day away :-) if you ever want to chat or meet up for a coffee Im more than willing to do that!!! I have met great people living here and really only one close friend who happens to be a fab hairdresser!!! She moved over the same time from me from Sydney!! Honestly please PM me if you want to talk about anything I'm more than happy to talk things through with you! For me moving here 7 months pregnant, got married bought a house and a dog i have been through every emotion possible!!!!
Get in touch
:-)

kiwichicks

We all know how it has felt or feels, wouldn't be human
I always get by saying that I am people sick (PS) rather than missing UK, and yes even now after 17 months I have the PS days
Take the kind offer of a coffee and remeber you are not alone there is always BE

D

pricklykina

Hey brown bear!
Hugs to you x
You know it will pass.
Truly
Somedays are bad and you will doubt yourself but you had good reasons for doing what you do.
Reach out...tell people...don't fall the "I don't want to burden people" BS that us Brits do so well. It is by "burdening" that we connect with others
I struggled so long in the early days, but could have made it easier on myself by reaching out
My most recent bout I posted about on here...I thought this was it...I would just fall apart and never get over it...I wanted to go home...was checking flight prices....and now...I'm OK...really OK, and I couldn't imagine being at this point

It's OK to be sad...it's not easy to migrate and takes a long time to adjust, why do you think that people live in enclaves of similar nationalities (think spain, the north shore LOL) It's because living outside our culture is an anathema to us human
But those that do, for all the losses, can have great gains too.


There will come a time when it feels OK, or at least when you know what the right decision is for you and your family.

Just keep breathing and talking and stay open hon

love30stm

Im not homesick, but I keep having dreams of wanting to go back to England! is it my inner self???

Matewx

Am enjoying my time here... To the max! Making the most of it!

I also know am not here for good (as much as I like it so far, it's too far!!!), so I dont actually feel home sick!

Actually, I dont know where to call home... lol