Got back from the UK
#1
Got back from the UK
Walking the isles of my parents local Tesco and realising the choice and lower prices of the produce didn't make me pine for England's green and pleasant land.
Nor did perusing the property pages of the local rag make we wish I had central heating.
Shopped at Next for clothes for my daughter and realised that Next isn't as cheap as I thought it was.
Driving standards in NZ are certifiably woeful. I felt like I was cruising about in some sort of drivers haven most of the time all these polite courteous drivers, even in parts of London!!
Generally speaking, coffee is awful. Or at least you risk traipsing around the place to find a decent one and even then when you go back the next day with a different Barista don't expect consistency.
My taste for a British Ale has wained.
My taste for a good curry hasn't.
I had a fantastic time catching up with friends, ex-colleagues and family, but I was genuinely pleased to land back in NZ soil on Thursday afternoon. This told me a lot about myself, I am content here.
I didn't know how I was going to react saying farewell to all those people again, but I and they dealt with it very well indeed.
My only conundrum is reacquainting my daughter with cousins, grandparents, etc only to pull her away again. Her behaviour on the day of departure back to NZ tugged at the heart strings a little - she frankly wanted to stay at Nanny and Grandad's house.
Whilst she was as good as gold once I'd got her out of Nanny and Grandad's house, for the journey home and now she's back with her mates at Kindy, she's all good - it surprised me how a 4 year old can show such deep emotional expression.
She's a bright kid, so the act of the expression isn't in its self surprising - it was an insight that these little people don't just live day to day, they do think about their life and the people who define their lives.
I focus on the positive that clearly she had a wonderful time, I just hope I'm not damaging her emotional mechanisms in some way in the long term.
Perhaps she just didn't fancy another long haul trip, but I suspect her feelings were more genuine than that.
Clearly there is no answer to this, but I suppose I tell anyone with a young family to perhaps prepare for how you might feel about creating a situation for your children to bond with your family only to rip them away a few weeks later from that bond.
Thinking about your relationships with others you are saying farewell to is one thing, considering the feelings of your children is quite another, certainly when they are too young to really talk about it in great detail.
Nor did perusing the property pages of the local rag make we wish I had central heating.
Shopped at Next for clothes for my daughter and realised that Next isn't as cheap as I thought it was.
Driving standards in NZ are certifiably woeful. I felt like I was cruising about in some sort of drivers haven most of the time all these polite courteous drivers, even in parts of London!!
Generally speaking, coffee is awful. Or at least you risk traipsing around the place to find a decent one and even then when you go back the next day with a different Barista don't expect consistency.
My taste for a British Ale has wained.
My taste for a good curry hasn't.
I had a fantastic time catching up with friends, ex-colleagues and family, but I was genuinely pleased to land back in NZ soil on Thursday afternoon. This told me a lot about myself, I am content here.
I didn't know how I was going to react saying farewell to all those people again, but I and they dealt with it very well indeed.
My only conundrum is reacquainting my daughter with cousins, grandparents, etc only to pull her away again. Her behaviour on the day of departure back to NZ tugged at the heart strings a little - she frankly wanted to stay at Nanny and Grandad's house.
Whilst she was as good as gold once I'd got her out of Nanny and Grandad's house, for the journey home and now she's back with her mates at Kindy, she's all good - it surprised me how a 4 year old can show such deep emotional expression.
She's a bright kid, so the act of the expression isn't in its self surprising - it was an insight that these little people don't just live day to day, they do think about their life and the people who define their lives.
I focus on the positive that clearly she had a wonderful time, I just hope I'm not damaging her emotional mechanisms in some way in the long term.
Perhaps she just didn't fancy another long haul trip, but I suspect her feelings were more genuine than that.
Clearly there is no answer to this, but I suppose I tell anyone with a young family to perhaps prepare for how you might feel about creating a situation for your children to bond with your family only to rip them away a few weeks later from that bond.
Thinking about your relationships with others you are saying farewell to is one thing, considering the feelings of your children is quite another, certainly when they are too young to really talk about it in great detail.
Last edited by TommyLuck; Oct 21st 2014 at 12:58 am.
#2
Re: Got back from the UK
Hello Tommy - I thought the other day I hadn't seen any posts from you recently.
Glad you had such a great time and that your daughter enjoyed it to. Even if it was more upsetting for her than you to leave.
Glad you had such a great time and that your daughter enjoyed it to. Even if it was more upsetting for her than you to leave.
#3
BE Enthusiast
Joined: May 2007
Location: Western Sydney For Now
Posts: 434
Re: Got back from the UK
Great post mate, all I can say is that you need to make the best guess at the right decision for the long term benefit of your daughter however difficult it is to strip away the emotion. Good luck and thanks for sharing.
Not sure where you are but I confirmed last week that you can indeed get a true British style curry at Great India in Wellington, so if you get a chance........
Not sure where you are but I confirmed last week that you can indeed get a true British style curry at Great India in Wellington, so if you get a chance........
#4
Re: Got back from the UK
I'm pretty certain TommyLuck is in Auckland. I'll be in Wellington in a couple of weeks time. If we fancy a curry, I'll look in at Great India.
#5
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jun 2003
Location: North Shore, Auckland
Posts: 688
Re: Got back from the UK
NOTHING compares to a English curry. I was in heaven when we were there a couple of years back. Food in India is good, make no mistake, but I've not anything to match the UK version yet. I also scoffed a few pork pies, a large slice of proper Stilton, and more than one box of Thorntons Continental.
Tommy, did you have a couple of good sessions down the pub? I hear one of my favourite pints, 'Doom Bar' has taken over in the years I've been gone...
Tommy, did you have a couple of good sessions down the pub? I hear one of my favourite pints, 'Doom Bar' has taken over in the years I've been gone...
#6
BE Enthusiast
Joined: May 2007
Location: Western Sydney For Now
Posts: 434
Re: Got back from the UK
The family that runs it and the chefs are from Leicester, if you want proper hot let the guy that keeps it ticking (Rakesh) know you want British hot. They also do a phal curry if you like it real hot.
#7
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2014
Location: Sydney / Christchurch
Posts: 192
Re: Got back from the UK
I'll note that when I'm in Wellington for the cricket world cup in February.
Our local curry can do a hot one. It's on par with the pataaks vindaloo
#8
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: bottom of the world
Posts: 4,533
Re: Got back from the UK
The first trip back is always good for laying any doubts or demons to rest but it sounds like you were thrown an emotional curve ball.
It doesnt get any easier when the children are older. My eldest son was 17 when we came to nz.
He was adamant he didn't want to come and it took a lot of talking and soul searching on both sides before he agreed.
He stayed for 18 months, then, as we had agreed, he returned to the UK. I tried everything to help him settle here
but it became obvious very early on that he would leave so I just decided to make the most of the time we had left together
When he left I felt enormous guilt at bringing him over and feared that in doing so I might have damaged our
relationship in the long term. Things turned out OK, as I'm sure they will for your little girl but as you have
said, these things cant be assumed just because the child is still small, they have feelings too which are just as legitimate as ours.
It doesnt get any easier when the children are older. My eldest son was 17 when we came to nz.
He was adamant he didn't want to come and it took a lot of talking and soul searching on both sides before he agreed.
He stayed for 18 months, then, as we had agreed, he returned to the UK. I tried everything to help him settle here
but it became obvious very early on that he would leave so I just decided to make the most of the time we had left together
When he left I felt enormous guilt at bringing him over and feared that in doing so I might have damaged our
relationship in the long term. Things turned out OK, as I'm sure they will for your little girl but as you have
said, these things cant be assumed just because the child is still small, they have feelings too which are just as legitimate as ours.
#10
Re: Got back from the UK
Re curry's I love them here, I love creamy currys, passandas, kormas, butter chicken, but in the UK they tend to be mild, it's great I can ask for them more spicy here
#11
Re: Got back from the UK
Thanks all.
I'm glad to have sparked a curry information share!!
I will be in the Wellington area for Xmas and again the for NZ v. Eng Cricket World Cup game - it'd be rude not to give Great India a run.
My daughter was and is fine, I'm fine too - I try to look at it from a third person perspective and not let my emotional attachment as her Dad make to do or say anything that would later transpire to be misjudged or ill timed.
But off all of my emigration experience so far this is the one thing I wasn't mentally prepared for and and caught me off guard. It certain did pose some questions for thought.
I'm glad to have sparked a curry information share!!
I will be in the Wellington area for Xmas and again the for NZ v. Eng Cricket World Cup game - it'd be rude not to give Great India a run.
My daughter was and is fine, I'm fine too - I try to look at it from a third person perspective and not let my emotional attachment as her Dad make to do or say anything that would later transpire to be misjudged or ill timed.
But off all of my emigration experience so far this is the one thing I wasn't mentally prepared for and and caught me off guard. It certain did pose some questions for thought.
#12
Re: Got back from the UK
Great update x Re your daughter being upset at leaving the UK, I teach a 6 year old boy who emigrated with his parents to NZ when he was 11 months old. He regards himself as English and recently his mum has been talking about returning to the UK. He's devastated! This is his 'home' now, all his friends are here, he has a 3 year old brother who knows no different to the rural life they live now.
Guess just trying to say, it can work both ways...emigrator beware!
Guess just trying to say, it can work both ways...emigrator beware!
#13
Re: Got back from the UK
TL - good to read an update from you. I am not as active here as I used to be.
Glad you had a good trip home, thought your post was very balanced. Can't imagine how hard the emotional part is with your child and the family, but know that you as a family are having an interesting and fruitful life together. Despite some of the emotional difficulties, your daughter is having an upbringing that many would be jealous of.
Hope all is well chap.
Glad you had a good trip home, thought your post was very balanced. Can't imagine how hard the emotional part is with your child and the family, but know that you as a family are having an interesting and fruitful life together. Despite some of the emotional difficulties, your daughter is having an upbringing that many would be jealous of.
Hope all is well chap.
#15
Nz
Joined: Mar 2012
Location: Canterbury
Posts: 368
Re: Got back from the UK
Thanks the post. I hope I feel the same when I eventually go back. Glad you have got a little closure
Re your daughter. It's a hard age they discover all these emotions and can pull your heart strings. My 3 yr old has started questioning me about nana and why we can't go to her house. They don't understand the concept of distance.
I'm sure both our daughters will thank us for the choice we made when they are older x
Re your daughter. It's a hard age they discover all these emotions and can pull your heart strings. My 3 yr old has started questioning me about nana and why we can't go to her house. They don't understand the concept of distance.
I'm sure both our daughters will thank us for the choice we made when they are older x
Last edited by BEVS; Nov 4th 2014 at 1:50 am. Reason: adjust text speak.