Stormer999

Don't you think what you are really asking is to go back in time? Don't you think you would tarnish your memories by seeing what has happened to your ex homeland by now?

Woodpigeon

No, what I'm saying is that I didn't have/go through the grieving process of leaving my homeland. If I had thought at the time that I wouldn't be returning then I would have done many things differently - such as visit more of my old friends who live all over the UK not just where my family live, revisit some of my favourite places etc. For example there is a nature reserve where I used to walk my dog as a teenager (holds lots of memories), if I'd thought I was never going to get the chance to visit there again then I would have made the time to walk there before we left.

As we were originally planning to come out for a year (though I did always acknowledge that we may well stay longer, only I thought maybe up to 5 years max!) I didn't think that sort of thing was necessary. I just feel a bit like when someone dies unexpectedly and you think of all the things you wish you'd said/done together.

That's why I have my plan of insisting that we go back for a visit in a few years, so I can say goodbye and put some ghosts to rests (though I'd be quite happy if that visit shows me that I could still go back to live ).

I make no apology for the sentimentality of this post

jmh

I understand what you're saying Woodpigeon. I'm leaving the UK next year and I'm doing a bit of a trip around to have one last look (even though I am leaving a house here) and finishing up some family history stuff. I feel I need to say farewell in order to settle in somewhere new. I know this sounds silly to some, but it works for me. It's all part of a process.

CarolineSwan

I totally understand this, i mean i have no plans to even go back for a holiday, that could change though i guess, but there is a place called castle sween up north of scotland that i went to each weekend/holiday from 3 months to 16 years and it holds so much of my child hood memories, i guess it makes me sad that i will never go there again, but you know it doesnt make me regret that i am here. i think now its important for us to find some where like that here or somewhere , that will be special for my daughter, to give her special memories of her child hood, and if i do ever get back to the uk for some strange reason that place will be amust visit as i havnt been there since lucy was a baby

Justcol

Regrets no, but its very hard when there are things you miss back home so much.
If you dont mind me saying stacey it does sound like you are trying to
convince your mum that this is something she should do. If she is pressured
into a move here and is not 100% commited and doing it for herself then New
Zealand could end up being a very miserable and lonely place for her and it
could end up costing her financially to the point that she may not find it easy to
recover from should she decide its not for her and want to return to the uk.

Genesis

Totally agree. If some one wants to come to NZ they will. The danger of trying to persuade someone to come is that you may well get their expectations out of kilter and thus as Col says above it could be a disaster. If some one asked me if did I think NZ was the place to go I would say "it was for me". However I don't think I would ever recommend anyone to emigrate to Nz as so many dislike the place and also because I think that Oz or even Canada may be way better options.

CarolineSwan

we have been so lucky that our family and friends all loved it here when they have visited, i was so worried incase they didnt, i mean just cosi love it doesnt mean they will. my friend is looking to move out here in the future and garys paernts were even looking at houses while here lol, but they too old (70's) but they will be visiting again next year

We cant expect everyone to visit, but the ones that matter will

Justcol

I think there are a lot of expats here who are not truely happy,they are just happier than where they were.

CarolineSwan

thats probably true, but there are also a lot here who i imagine are truly happy. i couldnt imagine being any happier, when we left britain i wasnt sad or cried or anything but i know if we had to move again and leave my friends/home here i would be sad as we just love it, that said if we did have to move elsewhere i know i would be fine, and would make new friends again as i have this time

Droidling

Colandros,
I hate to be really obvious but you keep moaning about NZ being so backward and parochioal,just move to AUK FFS and you will change your perspective. You come over as a city person so put us lot out our misery.
Cheers

Justcol

WTF would i want to do that, auckland has nothing to offer that i dont already have.
Its full of people who overestimate the city's importance and position and think the
whole country should spin around them
Theres no soul to the place, its ok for shopping but thats about it.

I'm happy living and moaning about where i am thank you very much

Stormer999

Ah so now I see my mistake. From the advice of someone in NZ I have already done my goodbyes to the UK and Europe now I am ready for leaving after making out a long list of why!

Stormer999

Only one word for that observation......'profound'.......

SweetyStacey

Thanks guys, the replies are really assuring lol. Glad you all are enjoying your new life. Can't wait for it to be our turn.


Stacey

simonsi

Sometimes that is the best you can hope for....and not a bad aim in life, I am sure many move repeatedly (whether domestic or international), but never find "true happiness"...