TeamEmbo

Hamburger meat? That's just mince, eh? Been on offer in supermarket this week at $4.99/kg! Anyways, just bear in mind that her figures include her whole families outlay and that what she is asking for is unreasonable. You are not there to support all of them or to keep her in manner to which she'd like; you are only responsible for your half for responable expenses of your kids.

I don't see how she can have forged your signature though. You yourself would need to have signed a legal declaration for removal from the jurisdiction in person in front of the Notary Public with persumably some ID and then the NP signs as witness and to formalise the document.

Did you ask her in your email about this legal document? What visa does she have?

Wooly_Cow

She needs to use her incredibly expnsive internet to get a decent recipe...

http://www.bestrecipes.com.au/recipe...ies-L5240.html

This uses 500 grammes of beef for 6 serves.

Even if you assume hungry BIG kids that would be only 250 grammes of meat for two kids.

Prime Mince Beef online at Woolworths is $12 a kilo http://www.woolworths.co.nz/HomeShopping/Shop.aspx and prime beef (as Embo says you can get it much cheaper...if she spent $18 she could have bought nearly 4 kilos at Embos prices.....are they kids or lion cubs?)


So I work that out at between $1-3 of meat for your two kids

Am Loolah

Kids = baby goats, but I'm pretty sure they're vegetarians ...

jonolondon

Thanks - You guys are keeping me entertained here I have to say.. Oh I shouldn't cut and paste this stuff, but at 23:35 I can't resist I guess..but you are all being extremely helpful...

Here are some extracts of what I've just been emailed tonight.. As I said I've offered her $3k one-time and $2k per month ongoing.. This is what I am dealing with..

< snip>

mods note:-
I am sorry for your situation but please don't publish private emails from your ex on an open forum like this . Thank you

TeamEmbo

Typical ex response Jono - using threat of kids hating you to try and draw you in. I love the Nutella bit BTW

At the end of the day, you have made an extremely generous offer. I've already shown you that what you are already paying more than covers the expenses she outlined for you so rest assured your kids will still be enjoying their sports and leisure activities.

I am dumbfounded by the way some people think they can take off and live however they like at someone else's expense and expect someone else to foot the bill for their chosen lifestyle.

I, BTW, do not live in a trailer. Nor do I or my family live off cat food. We buy whatever is on special offer, home-bake and take picnics if we go on outings.

From the list of activities your ex, her partner and kids are enjoying, they are enjoying the high life and in order for that to continue for her she needs you to pay.

I am also an ex-wife but I've never held my ex-husband to ransom or threatened to turn the kids against him. I made my choices and he made his and our kids know that they are loved by both of us regardless of the money or lack of it. To be honest I'm just grateful for the 60GBP he does pay each month. It helps heaps. And that way he can afford to send the kids a decent amount on their birthdays and at Christmas. It was my choice to come to NZ. I don't expect my ex to make up for my lack of decent income here, especially as he doesn't get to see the kids or get a say in the choices made for them, even if he wanted to.

Feel free to cut and paste anything I've written to her. She really needs to stop gold digging and start taking responsibility herself for her choices and stop using your kids as a threat

BEVS

For reference

From the New Zealand Immigration website

TeamEmbo

Nutella = $3.75 for 220g, $5.99 for 400g!

Perhaps she was stocking up for winter?

Persephone

I'm sorry you're having to go through this and can't help very much as I don't have children. Sounds like you're going to need to get some expert help ie a lawyer to sort things out. It looks like it will get very nasty for all involved by her response there.
I can't say anything about school costs but some of her costs are exorbitant. We are 2 adults and only spend around $1,000-1,500 a month on all bills, food, takeaways and a night out or trip once a week[excludes rent or mortgage] so I can't see how she can justify $2,000 on 2 children We'd find it hard to spend $2,000/ month and we don't particularly scrimp.
As others have said, it looks like she is trying to add in the whole family's costs and get you to pay. Just had a look at cinema costs for 3 locations-they come out at $9-10.50 for a child ticket and between $38-42 for a family ticket [4 seats] so how does it come to $50 for just one visit? Unless you're paying for the 2 adults as well as her half of the childrens' tickets...

It sounds like you are trying to be a good decent father despite the distance but that should not include being taken for a ride financially.

TeamEmbo

Hi Sue, it was me that said a family of 4 at cinema was $50. Jono's ex is claiming $80!

BEVS

I s'pect I've caused a bit of confusion now by removing the content of the personal email between Jonolondon and his ex.
Sorry guys.
I wouldn't want to see the content of any of my private emails posted to a public board, hence the moderation snip.

Wooly_Cow

Fair Do's BEVs

TeamEmbo

No worries, Bev. Would you like me to edit my post so it doesn't come back to bite anyone?

Persephone

Sorry, must have read it wrong. Yes $50 if he pays for all the family.

As for $80, think she's living in a different NZ to me!!



Fair enough BEVS, me neither

jonolondon

Thanks Teamembo for the note.

Yes after 9 years of marriage my ex met a Kiwi (also married with kids living here in the UK) and decided to get together and emigrate. At the time, neither of us was happy but I stuck it out to spend time with the kids at least.

I'm not bitter and don't begrudge her anything, just want her and my kids to be happy, despite the fact that they are so far away. I grew up abroad (in Africa & Mauritius) so appreciate the quality of life you can experience as an expat and as I mentioned, from the photos they are having a great time.

I've

So yeah, it's tough but really appreciate all the support and advice from everyone - gives me a much needed perspective - many thanks.

Jonathan

ble

Hi Jono

i can only echo what the others have said.
Get a lawyer - and a good one at that.

There is no way you should/need to be paying that amount of money (NZD 3,000) - and no way do you need to be paying for their (the adults) extravagent lifestyle.

It seems that the amount that you mentioned as previously paying for their care, while they were in the UK, was also very generous, and I personally would just be transferring that across each month.


Maybe it would be worth getting in touch with an NZ lawyer as well?

It certainly seems that as you didn't sign any paper work the children couldn't / shouldn't have left the UK.

Let us know if you need to query any other costs.

PS - movies - only $45 for 1 senior; 1 adult and 3 children. I guess you are paying for the dinner for the family as well on the night out.

They have a great life if those figures are acutally what they are spending.