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Chances of everyone being in agreement?

Chances of everyone being in agreement?

Old Feb 4th 2020, 3:48 pm
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Default Chances of everyone being in agreement?

Not many emigrate on their own. Usually, it is a couple, or family. You see it many times on Wanted Down Under, where one is keen, and the other is hesitant. We went in 2004. My husband loved it...got a boat, went fishing etc. My two children, then 7 and 9, thought their NZ school was the best in the
world! And they loved the outdoor freedom. I couldn't settle and felt a million miles away from the rest of civilization. We eventually came back to the UK in 2011, after nearly 8 years of me trying. Now..my son and daughter are in their 20s and have both returned, and feel that they are back home. It is where they grew up and they like not having the pressures of UK life. My son in particular, struggled to settle in England and missed out on getting GCSEs making it hard for him to get work. My daughter went first just over a year ago, for a visit..lived it and encouraged my son to join her. He says, it is where he should be. I don't think they will want to return...and I do think it is better for them and any children they might have. We all have Permanent Residency. I can see that my husband and I will probably return too. Going to NZ isn't always cut and dried, inasmuch as everyone being in agreement..and the consequences can reach out for a very long time.
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Old Feb 4th 2020, 4:01 pm
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Default Re: Chances of everyone being in agreement?

Originally Posted by Old Hippy View Post
Not many emigrate on their own. Usually, it is a couple, or family. You see it many times on Wanted Down Under, where one is keen, and the other is hesitant. We went in 2004. My husband loved it...got a boat, went fishing etc. My two children, then 7 and 9, thought their NZ school was the best in the
world! And they loved the outdoor freedom. I couldn't settle and felt a million miles away from the rest of civilization. We eventually came back to the UK in 2011, after nearly 8 years of me trying. Now..my son and daughter are in their 20s and have both returned, and feel that they are back home. It is where they grew up and they like not having the pressures of UK life. My son in particular, struggled to settle in England and missed out on getting GCSEs making it hard for him to get work. My daughter went first just over a year ago, for a visit..lived it and encouraged my son to join her. He says, it is where he should be. I don't think they will want to return...and I do think it is better for them and any children they might have. We all have Permanent Residency. I can see that my husband and I will probably return too. Going to NZ isn't always cut and dried, inasmuch as everyone being in agreement..and the consequences can reach out for a very long time.
I think a lot will come down to the location, rather than the country. Even within the same country people can move and might feel they are a million miles away. Had a work colleague who moved to Dublin from the West and also felt more pressure/missed the outdoor freedom. A year later he came back and is now enjoying the freedom he didn't have in Dublin. Just depends what you are used to and moving from a place with less people to a crowded place can feel that way. Would be the same if I had to go back to Kent.
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Old Feb 4th 2020, 7:20 pm
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Default Re: Chances of everyone being in agreement?

Mine is other way round, as soon as daughter finished college at the age of 17 she was out of here we came here when she was out of here.
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Old Feb 4th 2020, 8:56 pm
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Default Re: Chances of everyone being in agreement?

Originally Posted by MrsFychan View Post
Mine is other way round, as soon as daughter finished college at the age of 17 she was out of here we came here when she was out of here.

It can happen and does. That said emigrating is a very, very big thing. For some it works out, for others it does not. I get that. There are many reasons you will make it ‘work’ or not as the case maybe.

I think a lot of what happens depends on one’s mind set, why you came in the first place and of course where you choose to live. Life has been okay since arriving in 2005, the divorce came along in 2013, it seems to dog a lot of us emigrees, but it seems to dog people all over the world. It seems folk have no ‘staying power’ any more!! We live in a throw away world, however I digress.

Where you choose to live can be crucial. I personally feel the South Island would have suited me more, what is done is done. TBH I just wanted to live in NZ because it was not crowded, I had been here, liked it and most importantly I felt it was a good place to raise my three very young kids...I got that bit right!!! Anywhere would have done for me in NZ, but I admit I would, if I could get my time machine working again (the flux capacitor is shot), be in the South Island. I intend to move there next year. Even less people. Which is nice.

And as for kids ‘defecting’? That is what can happen when we emigrate, eventually, when they grow up. I have zero expectations that my kids will stay here, the most important thing for me is that they are content and healthy, where ever that is will be up to them.

NZ is a cool, strange country, with many negative points and by contrast lots of positive points, like most places on Earth. You have to prepare yourself for a degree of isolation. I personally burnt all my bridges when I came, it was not for a ‘look see’, it was forever. That was the mind set I needed and wanted. It worked for me. Loads of issues along the way, losing life savings, divorce, illnesses a plenty, but I am still here.

I guess at the end of the day my ‘shite bucket’ is outweighed by my ‘happy bucket’.

Life ultimately is what we all make of it. It is short. It is important to be happy and to be honest with yourself and those around you.

Peace.




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Old Feb 5th 2020, 8:39 am
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Default Re: Chances of everyone being in agreement?

Originally Posted by Old Hippy View Post
Going to NZ isn't always cut and dried, inasmuch as everyone being in agreement..and the consequences can reach out for a very long time.
You're not wrong there; I imagine the bigger your family the harder it must be to please everyone. Things change all the time and not everyone is on the same page at the same time; one week you're ticking along all fine and then wham you get hit with something else to test your mettle. Hope all works out for you and your family.
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Old Feb 5th 2020, 9:26 am
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Default Re: Chances of everyone being in agreement?

Originally Posted by Bo-Jangles View Post
You're not wrong there; I imagine the bigger your family the harder it must be to please everyone. Things change all the time and not everyone is on the same page at the same time; one week you're ticking along all fine and then wham you get hit with something else to test your mettle. Hope all works out for you and your family.
Yep, it never ends..
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