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cannot stop crying

cannot stop crying

Old Jun 23rd 2009, 7:52 pm
  #16  
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Default Re: cannot stop crying

I think it would definitely help to say your goodbyes before you leave for the airport. We all went to see my brother, sister in law and my nephews off to NZ four years ago. It was awful - everyone got really upset and to be honest - it wasnt fair on the kids who should have been excited about getting on a plane for the first time etc. Telling family you dont want them at the airport will prob be very hard but will make it easier for you and for them in the longrun. We fly out at the beginning of August and are also really beginning to go through the exitement / upset of doing things for the last time etc. My mum & sister aren't very happy about being "banned" from the airport but understand our reasons for this.

Wish you all the best - just keep in mind why you are making the move and make sure you keep in touch with the people who matter once you're out there. Skype makes it so much easier especially at christmas & birthdays.

Good luck, X.
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Old Jun 24th 2009, 12:28 am
  #17  
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Default Re: cannot stop crying

You definitely have to ban family and friends from the airport, we did this, we were up front with everyone and told them we just couldn't handle the goodbyes there. They all respected our wishes and it was so much easier, there were even smiles and laughter on the flight.
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Old Jun 24th 2009, 5:44 am
  #18  
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Default Re: cannot stop crying

Originally Posted by teebrown View Post
You definitely have to ban family and friends from the airport, we did this, we were up front with everyone and told them we just couldn't handle the goodbyes there. They all respected our wishes and it was so much easier, there were even smiles and laughter on the flight.
My Mum nervously asked me 'you don't want us to wave you off at the airport do you?' My reply 'most definitely not' Her response 'thank goodness for that..don't think I could handle it'

I wasn't emigrating either!

Definitely no goodbyes at airport...horrible enough places without that to deal with as well.
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Old Jun 24th 2009, 6:58 am
  #19  
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Default Re: cannot stop crying

Originally Posted by Jo-Chris View Post
Just made me cry reading your messages we haven't even booked our flights yet! Think I am going to be an emotional wreck by the end of this process!!
Same here!
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Old Jun 24th 2009, 10:37 am
  #20  
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Default Re: cannot stop crying

Originally Posted by deb_steve View Post
We have just booked out flights for wed 8th July to start our new life and I cannot stop crying.

It was our grandsons birthday on sunday & he was 2, we had a family day out to Chester Zoo. Having all the family together was both wonderful yet upsetting when I see what we are leaving behind.

I have to say this is the hardest thing I have ever done,leaving behind my children & grandchild. Even though I know it is the right thing for us, as it gets nearer I am getting worse and am sooooo dreading the final farewell.

I knew it would be difficult but I did not realise it was going to be so bad. I feel like it has only just hit me that it will be a long time till I see them again once I have left.

I may be being a bit of a drama queen but at the moment I am so emotional.
Please someone tell me it gets easier.
This is a really difficult one - it's totally different for me to say goodbye to my Mum (who I may never see again) than it is to say goodbye to my son. I can handle the mum part easily - it's the son part that's the sticker. I'm not trying to make you feel worse but there's no way to say that it's always easy. My son is just waiting for the recession to be over and then he's going to be off - which I always knew would be the case - so there was no point in my staying just for him. I'm just hoping his 'off' will be in this direction. We DO find it easier to really talk to each other now though and just recently, for the first time since he was a small boy, he's started telling me he loves me So, it's not all doom and gloom

It will definitely be hard in the beginning but if you know that and are expecting it you can devise ways to get around it. And just saying that you miss them and having a good old cry is very therapeutic. Good luck
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Old Jun 24th 2009, 1:06 pm
  #21  
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Default Re: cannot stop crying

Hi, can I just offer a little advice? We have only been her for 11 days and I have to say that we have good days - tear free as we call them, and not so good days, when all we do is cry. I have 2 young children and the youngest never wants to go back to the UK as 'the food on the plane smells so bad' lol. My 8 yr old girl is the one struggling the most, missing family, friends etc and of course, if she cries, I cry! However, when I ask her if she wants to go back to the UK, she says 'no way!' Things will get easier I'm sure.
Anyhow, the day we were flying, we had booked a taxi for the airport run as we didn't want family at the airport. I had informed them that we were emmigrating and would have lots of luggage (7 kgs over too! but thats another story) The taxi firm assured me they would send appropriate vehicle. They had been booked for 3.30pm and it was friday (busy time on M62). |At 3.45 the taxi driver turned up in a bloody focus estate!!! FFS
He took one look at our luggage on the pavement and said 'you have got no chance!' After just saying all our last family goodbyes to mum & dad, sister etc, we were pretty pissed off with the taxi firm. After spending 15 mins trying to get a mini bus to us - unsuccessfully, my sister said 'sod this, get in the car' My mum & dad who I definately didn't want at the airport also started loading their car with luggage. The children and I travelled with my sister and my husband with my parents - bless him!
Anyhow, we ended up with family at the airport to say goodbye. I asked them to just say goodbye at the drop off point in the carpark though as my children had never flown and I didn't want it to be a traumatic event. Saying goodbye was quick and I must admit I did feel guilty saying goodbye then walking away, but trust me, it is easier than prolonging the process and making yourself worse especially if you have children with you. Once inside the airport, things kind of get easier as you have that much on your mind, passport control, duty free etc. Once you are there (here), you will realise that even though you have left everyone behind, the future is bright and after all, they are only 24 shourt hrs away!
So take heed, if you don't want any tearful goodbyes at the airport, make sure you book a mini bus!
Take care and have a safe journey.
Lynda xx
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Old Jun 24th 2009, 1:40 pm
  #22  
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Default Re: cannot stop crying

It does get easier. It's not surprising that we become an emotional wreck before doing something as major as moving so far away, it is to be expected.
It's funny how you spend so much time organising visas and emigrating etc etc and it's only when it becomes "real"and immediate that the full force of what you are doing really hits home. It's just the unknown. As my Dad said "don't worry, we are only 24hr away if anything happens" The reasons you wanted to emigrate are still valid. You feel so bad now as this is the only real downside to moving hitting home with a vengeance.

I agree with everyone about allowing people to take you to the airport. Don't do it!.
My Dad took me to LHR as I had so much luggage and was coming from Durham. Great idea until we were there. I spent the whole time trying not to cry and then made the slowest journey through security it was possible to make. Lots of tears and he would not disappear, everytime I looked round he was there and I couldn't move further on The staff told me to hurry up telling me I'd see them all again soon. I snapped back that I was emigrating and didn't know when I'd see them again and they backed away from the scary emotional crying woman Ended up running to the gate
So just to reiterate, go to the airport alone!!!

Take care and hope this does help a little, at least I hope it hasn't made things worse.
Sue
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Old Jun 25th 2009, 12:04 am
  #23  
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Default Re: cannot stop crying

Originally Posted by soontobethin View Post
Hi, can I just offer a little advice? We have only been her for 11 days and I have to say that we have good days - tear free as we call them, and not so good days, when all we do is cry. I have 2 young children and the youngest never wants to go back to the UK as 'the food on the plane smells so bad' lol. My 8 yr old girl is the one struggling the most, missing family, friends etc and of course, if she cries, I cry! However, when I ask her if she wants to go back to the UK, she says 'no way!' Things will get easier I'm sure.
Anyhow, the day we were flying, we had booked a taxi for the airport run as we didn't want family at the airport. I had informed them that we were emmigrating and would have lots of luggage (7 kgs over too! but thats another story) The taxi firm assured me they would send appropriate vehicle. They had been booked for 3.30pm and it was friday (busy time on M62). |At 3.45 the taxi driver turned up in a bloody focus estate!!! FFS
He took one look at our luggage on the pavement and said 'you have got no chance!' After just saying all our last family goodbyes to mum & dad, sister etc, we were pretty pissed off with the taxi firm. After spending 15 mins trying to get a mini bus to us - unsuccessfully, my sister said 'sod this, get in the car' My mum & dad who I definately didn't want at the airport also started loading their car with luggage. The children and I travelled with my sister and my husband with my parents - bless him!
Anyhow, we ended up with family at the airport to say goodbye. I asked them to just say goodbye at the drop off point in the carpark though as my children had never flown and I didn't want it to be a traumatic event. Saying goodbye was quick and I must admit I did feel guilty saying goodbye then walking away, but trust me, it is easier than prolonging the process and making yourself worse especially if you have children with you. Once inside the airport, things kind of get easier as you have that much on your mind, passport control, duty free etc. Once you are there (here), you will realise that even though you have left everyone behind, the future is bright and after all, they are only 24 shourt hrs away!
So take heed, if you don't want any tearful goodbyes at the airport, make sure you book a mini bus!
Take care and have a safe journey.
Lynda xx
Top tip, we hired a car one way, alot cheaper to the airport than a taxi (we were coming from Bristol) and we definatley knew our luggage would get in, even though some of it was sitting on the kids lap and wedged under my legs, and we got it half price as we picked up from major airport and dropped off at major airport.

Good luck
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Old Jun 27th 2009, 2:14 am
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Default Re: cannot stop crying

Originally Posted by deb_steve View Post
Yes got skype thankfully. Trying to get kids set up with it at moment but they seem to be in denial still.

God I will miss them so much
xx
Hi
If its any help we went through all this 15mths ago My Kids have accepted it well now and we talk regularly on the internet or on skype direct phone which is so good. They were in denial up to the point of us leaving but all is good now
all the best Gazzer
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Old Jun 27th 2009, 9:32 pm
  #25  
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Default Re: cannot stop crying

Originally Posted by deb_steve View Post
We have just booked out flights for wed 8th July to start our new life and I cannot stop crying.

It was our grandsons birthday on sunday & he was 2, we had a family day out to Chester Zoo. Having all the family together was both wonderful yet upsetting when I see what we are leaving behind.

I have to say this is the hardest thing I have ever done,leaving behind my children & grandchild. Even though I know it is the right thing for us, as it gets nearer I am getting worse and am sooooo dreading the final farewell.

I knew it would be difficult but I did not realise it was going to be so bad. I feel like it has only just hit me that it will be a long time till I see them again once I have left.

I may be being a bit of a drama queen but at the moment I am so emotional.
Please someone tell me it gets easier.
Sorry to disappoint all you guys, but I've been here four years and it gets much worse for at least two years. Even the Kiwis' own immigration magazine admits it. Kiwis are not brits. They think and do things slightly different. Even if some of them resent the influx of Brits into their society they will still readily take your money off you. As soon as they hear your accent, an extra "0" is added to the end of the price. If you don't have to get a job or work for a living then you may just get along. Before we came to live here we visited a few times to make sure. As a tourist, you're treated like royalty, once you want to earn money of them, its another country. A Swiss expat told us at that time that if you want to get on in New Zealand you have to work for yourself. We have found that to be 100% true. We are already looking to return to Europe warts and all when the economic situation settles down.
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Old Jun 27th 2009, 10:39 pm
  #26  
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Default Re: cannot stop crying

Originally Posted by metsecman View Post
Sorry to disappoint all you guys, but I've been here four years and it gets much worse for at least two years. Even the Kiwis' own immigration magazine admits it. Kiwis are not brits. They think and do things slightly different. Even if some of them resent the influx of Brits into their society they will still readily take your money off you. As soon as they hear your accent, an extra "0" is added to the end of the price. If you don't have to get a job or work for a living then you may just get along. Before we came to live here we visited a few times to make sure. As a tourist, you're treated like royalty, once you want to earn money of them, its another country. A Swiss expat told us at that time that if you want to get on in New Zealand you have to work for yourself. We have found that to be 100% true. We are already looking to return to Europe warts and all when the economic situation settles down.
Oh well that's bound to cheer the OP up,eh?
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Old Jun 27th 2009, 11:17 pm
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Default Re: cannot stop crying

Originally Posted by metsecman View Post
Sorry to disappoint all you guys, but I've been here four years and it gets much worse for at least two years. Even the Kiwis' own immigration magazine admits it. Kiwis are not brits. They think and do things slightly different. Even if some of them resent the influx of Brits into their society they will still readily take your money off you. As soon as they hear your accent, an extra "0" is added to the end of the price. If you don't have to get a job or work for a living then you may just get along. Before we came to live here we visited a few times to make sure. As a tourist, you're treated like royalty, once you want to earn money of them, its another country. A Swiss expat told us at that time that if you want to get on in New Zealand you have to work for yourself. We have found that to be 100% true. We are already looking to return to Europe warts and all when the economic situation settles down.
I think my family will agree with you. To get on in NZ you have to work for yourself so they went into business for themselves and its worked so far.
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Old Jun 28th 2009, 1:13 am
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Default Re: cannot stop crying

Originally Posted by j19fmm View Post
Oh well that's bound to cheer the OP up,eh?
There I go again. I'm just a misery guts when I get up in the morning This country is indeed beautiful. I'm sitting here at my computer looking out of the window, I see the Southern Alps. Its dead quiet. Its winter so very frosty. I just wanted to warn people that the change they are about experience is deeper than a different time zone. I'm sure Hokepokey will enjoy this place.
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Old Jul 12th 2009, 4:02 am
  #29  
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Default Re: cannot stop crying

Well we are here now and I have to say saying goodbye was harder than I had anticipated.

I feel so drained, I must have cried for the full week before the final goodbye.My dad and grandson were the hardest as my grandson who is 2 had no idea this was goodbye for a long time and my dad I do not exoect to ever see again.

I had managed to stop crying on arrival at Auckland and was at the final passport control and the inspector on finishing checking our docs said 'welcolme home'. How nice was that, well there was me crying again.

We are spending a few days in Auckland then driving over to new plymouth were we will be living. I am trying to look forward and not dwell on family back in the uk and am trying to refer to nz as home from now on
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Old Jul 12th 2009, 6:51 am
  #30  
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Default Re: cannot stop crying

Good for you, well done, I don't expect the tears will be your last, but it will get easier, for now look around the stunning views, meet some new friends and enjoy what the furture holds. Good luck with everything, and welcome to NZ x
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