turkeytickler

With the season of good will just around the corner I thought I would extend a conciliatory hand to all, and try to get a thread started for the collective good.

In the spirit of prudence, and so that we dont fall into the trap of materialism, I would like to start a list of alternative festive uses for Kiwi cultural icons, or "Kiwiana". You know what I mean - that odd assortment of mediocrity that adorns dishcloths and aprons the country over...Now is our chance to make these undervalued gems really shine.....

Ive made a modest start, would anyone like to contribute?

1. Jet Planes - coupled with No8 fencing wire will make an economical alternative to bourballs for the tree

2. Cant afford that KMart trampoline for the Kids this year? If they can hang on a day or two, Pak and Save should have out of date pavlova bases going for a song

3. Left over cat food? Use it as a filling in the sausage rolls, no one will be able to tell the difference.

4. The price of lava rock for the barbie looking a bit steep this year since Db Draught went up to $40 a can? Just chuck some hokey pokey on there instead - it should even give you the full mt ruapehu molten effect as things really hot up

5. If the weather all turns to custard and an easterly change ruins your speedboating/bungy jumping plans for xmas afternoon, try a nice brisk haka to keep warm.

NZ Climber

6. Can't afford a turkey for Xmas day? A roasted kiwi will make a nice change...

7. Can't find a kiwi to roast? A roasted football will make a nice change...

sky

Having trouble affording sunblock .. a bit of soil mixed in with lamb fat should do the job just as well.

Road kill posssom makes a nice alternative to a turkey and is a hell of a lot cheaper.

sky

Who needs a food processor when an upside down lawn mower will do the job perfectly well ... just chuck your veg at it from a reasonably safe distance and you'll be right

sky

Plaited Pak and Save carrier bags make cheap and pretty homemade streamers to brighten up the dullest of xmas trees.

Gill and Rob

Even better still, use the free ones from Countdown, New world and Woolworths rather than spending on those "expensive" Pak n save" ones.

With the money you have saved treat yourself to some muton bird for your tea.

Gill

turkeytickler

do you have to pay for pak and slave carrier bags??

Gill and Rob

Yep they charge in Rotorua.

Gill

turkeytickler

it also has the added advantage, in this time of increased energy costs, of being flatter - in the fashion of an escalope so can be grilled or pan fried at a fraction of a cost of cranking the oven up

turkeytickler

Hectic!! Ive got a great new income stream idea.... im going to raid all the birms on a wednesday night before the recycling guys turn up and half-inch all the pak and save bags..... man i could clean up and retire....

sky

Why bother with the oven when a couple of opened out empty tinnys fashioned into a solar stove will do

turkeytickler

no danger of a flare-up from the alcohol content

sky

Nope