Advice - Moving back to UK
#16
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2007
Location: England
Posts: 4,212
Re: Advice - Moving back to UK
Hello,
Without giving my full life story, I have basically reached what I feel like is a crossroads in my life. Been here 8.5 years after meeting my kiwi partner, we're a gay couple, I am 31 he is about to turn 40. Life has been great, but since buying our first home a year ago, things haven't been great. Covid19 was the cherry on the cake. I am feeling very dissatisfied, mixture of homesickness, not happy with my career, feeling like I am just brain drained and living in a rural town which I just hate. There is SO much more to this story but I'd need to write a book probably.
I really want to move back to the UK and start again, it will mean splitting with my partner, selling our house and somehow untangling my life here and moving back to uk, i'd have to move back to my mums probably and she lives outside of Skipton. I work in banking currently, and I just have no idea what to do or where i would need to start, I am nervous obviously as its a huge step with so many unknowns but got the point where i can't let hat fear stop me like i think it has many times in the past.
Should I sell house, untangle life and then move back and find a job or get a job lined up before returning? I feel like my CV is rubbish (it probably isn't) but I just look at jobs online and I would want a salary of $30k GBP which is near what I get paid now, I currently work in mortgage side of the bank here in NZ and I love what I do but I need to up-skill more and ideally really would like to expand my career and become a mortgage advisor, i have no knowledge of uk banking though, so I fear i'd have to start again and be on like 19k GBP. I wish I knew someone in this area.
I don't feel like i've got hard skills, mostly soft skills, I really do feel like NZ has drained me of skills and growth to be honest, I find it very challenging here.
Ideally I would like to be close to my family and I'd even consider starting up near where my mum lives for now as a starting point, but then wonder should I just start somewhere in a brand new city? I don't know what the rental situation is like and I would like to own my own house. I think having lived overseas, i'd be open minded to new cities in UK; before I left I studied in York and i went to college in Leeds, I don't really want to go back to these places, London terrifies me and Manchester I am not keen on. I just want a good, job a cosy place of my own and live in a nice place that isnt too crazy, I can deal with towns like the size of York. I think if we sold this house I think i'd get $50,000 NZD back so I guess that would sort of help me on return to UK. Gosh its going to be a nightmare not properly broken up yet but its just going that way, its really sad to be honest but I just need to do this for me, as selfish as that sounds.
I just want to be back in the UK, but I am trying to think and be realistic, I am so nervous of going back as family and people I know think i'd be stupid to do this. I wish i'd done it way earlier on in my 20s I just felt that NZ was the best place but it's just not doing it for me, Just feel like life is too short and I am so unhappy at the moment and can't continue feeling like this. My partner has been amazing, but i just don't feel like he gets it and I feel like i'm growing up and just need to re-calibrate my life.
Thanks for reading, listening. And there is so much more to the above but trying to keep it short, but boy am I confused !
Without giving my full life story, I have basically reached what I feel like is a crossroads in my life. Been here 8.5 years after meeting my kiwi partner, we're a gay couple, I am 31 he is about to turn 40. Life has been great, but since buying our first home a year ago, things haven't been great. Covid19 was the cherry on the cake. I am feeling very dissatisfied, mixture of homesickness, not happy with my career, feeling like I am just brain drained and living in a rural town which I just hate. There is SO much more to this story but I'd need to write a book probably.
I really want to move back to the UK and start again, it will mean splitting with my partner, selling our house and somehow untangling my life here and moving back to uk, i'd have to move back to my mums probably and she lives outside of Skipton. I work in banking currently, and I just have no idea what to do or where i would need to start, I am nervous obviously as its a huge step with so many unknowns but got the point where i can't let hat fear stop me like i think it has many times in the past.
Should I sell house, untangle life and then move back and find a job or get a job lined up before returning? I feel like my CV is rubbish (it probably isn't) but I just look at jobs online and I would want a salary of $30k GBP which is near what I get paid now, I currently work in mortgage side of the bank here in NZ and I love what I do but I need to up-skill more and ideally really would like to expand my career and become a mortgage advisor, i have no knowledge of uk banking though, so I fear i'd have to start again and be on like 19k GBP. I wish I knew someone in this area.
I don't feel like i've got hard skills, mostly soft skills, I really do feel like NZ has drained me of skills and growth to be honest, I find it very challenging here.
Ideally I would like to be close to my family and I'd even consider starting up near where my mum lives for now as a starting point, but then wonder should I just start somewhere in a brand new city? I don't know what the rental situation is like and I would like to own my own house. I think having lived overseas, i'd be open minded to new cities in UK; before I left I studied in York and i went to college in Leeds, I don't really want to go back to these places, London terrifies me and Manchester I am not keen on. I just want a good, job a cosy place of my own and live in a nice place that isnt too crazy, I can deal with towns like the size of York. I think if we sold this house I think i'd get $50,000 NZD back so I guess that would sort of help me on return to UK. Gosh its going to be a nightmare not properly broken up yet but its just going that way, its really sad to be honest but I just need to do this for me, as selfish as that sounds.
I just want to be back in the UK, but I am trying to think and be realistic, I am so nervous of going back as family and people I know think i'd be stupid to do this. I wish i'd done it way earlier on in my 20s I just felt that NZ was the best place but it's just not doing it for me, Just feel like life is too short and I am so unhappy at the moment and can't continue feeling like this. My partner has been amazing, but i just don't feel like he gets it and I feel like i'm growing up and just need to re-calibrate my life.
Thanks for reading, listening. And there is so much more to the above but trying to keep it short, but boy am I confused !
#17
Re: Advice - Moving back to UK
As for New Zealand the vaccine program will begin in Q3. My guess is that the quarantine requirement will probably be dropped before Christmas.
#18
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: bottom of the world
Posts: 4,533
Re: Advice - Moving back to UK
there's been to much sacrificed already for it all to be risked by a rush and a push to get back to normality before a full vaccination program has taken place, and we've seen already that incoming travellers can't be trusted and that intubation periods got new strains are varying.
HRH Jacinda won't risk losing a vote because she got the timing wrong and potentially causes a death
#19
Re: Advice - Moving back to UK
I can't see that happening until every bugger here, barring the anti vaxxer idiots has been pricked with at least a first dose of whatever vaccine we're getting.
there's been to much sacrificed already for it all to be risked by a rush and a push to get back to normality before a full vaccination program has taken place, and we've seen already that incoming travellers can't be trusted and that intubation periods got new strains are varying.
HRH Jacinda won't risk losing a vote because she got the timing wrong and potentially causes a death
there's been to much sacrificed already for it all to be risked by a rush and a push to get back to normality before a full vaccination program has taken place, and we've seen already that incoming travellers can't be trusted and that intubation periods got new strains are varying.
HRH Jacinda won't risk losing a vote because she got the timing wrong and potentially causes a death
Here are Prime Minister Arderns comments today:
"As for Covid-19 impacting travel, Ardern said we should expect our borders to be affected for much of the year.For travel to start we would need one of two things - the confidence that being vaccinated does not pass the virus on to others - which we do not yet know, or enough of the population needs to be vaccinated and protected, Ardern said."
#21
Just Joined
Joined: Aug 2019
Posts: 19
Re: Advice - Moving back to UK
I can certainly empathise with your situation in general (although not the details)
Covid has certainly shaken up my own ex-pat state, and forcing me forward into action. But oh my, re-establishing in the UK is no mean feat...
I would agree with people who say that "just moving" isn't a solution to anything. I think you definitely do need to have a clear idea of what you hope to gain from the move, and what "problems" you hope to solve, and also be pragmatic about the positive things that you're going to lose.
I can also empathise about how incredibly terrifying this must be for you, it certainly is for me...
Covid has certainly shaken up my own ex-pat state, and forcing me forward into action. But oh my, re-establishing in the UK is no mean feat...
I would agree with people who say that "just moving" isn't a solution to anything. I think you definitely do need to have a clear idea of what you hope to gain from the move, and what "problems" you hope to solve, and also be pragmatic about the positive things that you're going to lose.
I can also empathise about how incredibly terrifying this must be for you, it certainly is for me...