Ladybird

Hi Guys

Been reading both the Ozzie and Uk boards and feel this question is better asked on here. Quick bit of background: been in Adelaide for just over a year, came here when hubby got a job, wasn't really sure I wanted to come and have been fighting homesickness ever since I arrived. Hubby and kids love it here so I guess my question is:

Is it really worth all the hassle and pain I am going through to stay here and how long can I keep fighting for something I believe is right for the family as a whole, but not right for me as an individual? I have tried to keep things more positive of late and try to imagine staying here rather than think about going home all the time, and although I am not in floods of tears everyday, things just feel so grey . I can't seem to get excited about anything anymore and feel like I plod through each day. But I refuse to give up and keep fighting everyday to try and keep it together, I keep telling myself its better to go forward than back, but is it?

We are here till at least Sept 2006 and now longer if we want to consider citizenship (damn the new legislation) but at what cost?

Sorry to waffle just needed to put down what I was thinking in black and white.

Ladybird.

jad n rich

Try another bit of OZ?? may suit you better, you never know.

I seem to have found a survival trick, looking forward to a trip home, trouble is I dont know what my mental state will be when I have to return in January :scared: Cant afford to keep doing it either not with 4/5 of us!!

Get this how desperate are we for a visit, saw on the UK news its supposed to be 2c one morning were all jumping around looking forward to that weather

LIBBY

Just an observation but, isnt there a lot of people that return from Adelaide back to the uk.

Thats where we are and we are on count down to go home. 40 days!!

Maybe we should call it Adelaide the cursed city!!

Really feel for you Ladybird, these guys are really supportive on here so keep posting.....its good to talk.

Libby

Betty Boot

I have been here 5 years and still experience all the things you talk about, feeling low and uninterested in things, but I keep going and try to be enthusiastic about things for the sake of my family. I too only stay here because I believe we are providing a better life for our children and the fact my husband would be miserable in the UK but it is at the cost of my own personal happiness Dont get me wrong, not everyday is a battle, but when I get stuck in my little "UK" world it is difficult to drag myself back out. I feel the longer you have been here the less likely it is to ever leave you but the harder it is to return to the UK.

A holiday back usually does the trick but like someone else says - it is too darn expensive when there is a family involved!

Hope you find happiness here soon

MrsB

Funnily enough - I plod through each day too!!!

Why do you believe that it is better for your family here? What is it that you think is better?

Were you all happy in the UK?

I think a Happy Mummy = A Happy Family.

LIBBY

Could not agree with you more Kendodd. Wise words.

Whats the point in it all if you are not happy Ladybird. Talk to your Hubby. Obviously I dont know him or you but surley its better to talk out the situation with him than to live an unhappy life. You deserve as much as anyone else to be happy too.

I did that talk with my Hubby and he was great and we are now on our way home, maybe he might surprise you, and as for the children, I am sure they will be a lot happier if you are all happy together. Mine dont care where they live, as long as we are all together.....and happy.

Libby

mand8002

I agree with the other poster...........why not look at a different part of Oz. It could be worth the money to visit somewhere else before deciding to return to UK. Adelaide seems to be a place a few people struggle to settle for some reason, having never been I have no idea what it is like. We were going to go to Adelaide but then decided on Brisbane, and I feel this is the right place for us.

Amanda

Ladybird

I guess I think its better because things here are still a few years behind the uk, things are more relaxed here in Adelaide, the pace of life is slower, schools are more spacious, the kids are not behind bars and bolts, and they don't have so many tests. Where I am feels safer, looks cleaner, and we have a nice house and I don't have to work. (Sounds so good on paper doesn't it!)

As for being happy in the uk, then yes I was perfectly happy, a had just given up work ready to be a stay at home mum, had two sets of loving grandparents for the children and not a bad standard of living.
But the trouble was hubby was not happy (in his job) and I felt that if I didn't let him have this chance to live and work over here he would have resented me and it would have damaged our relationship.

Ladybird

SCOTTISH MARK 2

[QUOTE=Ladybird]Hi Guys

Been reading both the Ozzie and Uk boards and feel this question is better asked on here. Quick bit of background: been in Adelaide for just over a year, came here when hubby got a job, wasn't really sure I wanted to come and have been fighting homesickness ever since I arrived.


I must say "horses for courses" but having been here for 5 years,
I think Melbourne's a fantastic city and wouldn't like to live anywhere
else in Oz.

Still undecided on the whole staying forever but I can also understand
that it's very hard to make another move after making the big one.

Why not take a trip to Brisbane and Melbourne.
Sydney's too expensive for most and, from what most
peeps say on here, Perth could be incredibly dull.......
I had a weekend in Adelaide and... nice for a weekend.......but
that was pretty much it.

and yip having to wait for 3 years for citizenship is a complete
bummer........maybe a part time job would help too.

Hope you feel better soon.......this sites a great place get advice
and a bit of cheering up when you're homesick

janeyray

We visited Adelaide on our travels back to the UK. We stopped near Semaphore with some friends who live out there. Now in my opinion only ( ) compared to Perth (where we had spent 16 months) we thought Adelaide was brilliant. We found it far more happening, bigger and more fun than Perth 'BUT' I do think that it's because you are so far away from the UK that you feel like you do. I don't really think moving to another state/city would make things any different. Although we like Adelaide I know I wouldn't have been happy living there either.

Not long to go now until that feeling of homesickness becomes a thing of the past.

janeyray

I do think that the longer you stay somewhere the harder it is to leave. Not due to the fact you love it, mainly due to the financial aspect of moving to the UK. The unease of doing the right thing or not?

I think if you all as a family decide to move back then look at it this way.......you made the decision to move to Australia and that was hard, scary and stressful. Moving back can only be the same but it's going to be easier as you know the country, have friends and family there and it's familiar to you.

It's not as bad as you may think, things work out. Good luck to those coming back but you don't need luck the UK is the same and when you get back you'll feel at home.

ladyofthelake

There's a saying over here,imagine it with a southern drawl...

When mamma aint happy, aint nobody happy!

ladylisa

Why dont you have a talk with your husband and tell him how you feel, you made the sacrifice for his dreams and to make him happy so its now time to tell him what would make you happy. Why dont you both agree to stay until September of next year and then if you still want to leave then that should be what you do as a family.

suzimc

Hi Ladybird,

Even though it is nice to not have to work, do you think that a part time job might help you feel a bit better? Maybe you would feel more settled with that under your belt. I know they say that for an expat or immigration situation to really work it's the stay at home partner that has to be happy. I'ts just an idea though, I am definitely no expert!

Well, whatever you decide i really hope you find a happy solution. Sending you some Karma in the meantime

bundy

Totally agree - it sounds a lot like you are a bit lonely as a stay at home mum. I've just spent the last 2 weeks at home due to having been signed off sick and I've been totally miserable! I really do think you should consider getting a part time job so that you meet some other people, but also, importantly, so you *own* something. Might sound strange, but it somehow seems to help if you can get your teeth into something of your own, and it is grounding in a weird way.

Personally, I never clicked with Adelaide (although admittedly I was only there for a few days ). I think you know when somewhere is right - I fell in love with Sydney the instant I stepped off the plane and found that Melbourne grew on me once the sun started shining. But my heart really belonged in the country, out in rural Oz. It just takes a while to find what suits you best.

If you feel comfortable doing so, then I think you should try talking to your husband and kids. Who knows, they may be hiding homesickness too. Get it out in the open and then you can do something about it.

Good luck