Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Mar 18th 2008, 7:44 am
#46
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Mar 18th 2008, 8:04 am
#48
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Mar 18th 2008, 8:04 am
#49
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Which you wouldn't have gained unless you'd lived abroad.
Your experience of your 'home' has changed from being abroad. You appreciate it in a renewed and different way than your never-left friends could ever appreciate.
It's not that same 'home' you left because you appreciate it differently now.
Hence you 'can't go home' because you will never again experience 'home' the same way you did before you left.
...and if you appreciate your home more now than you did, that's probably a positive thing!
Your experience of your 'home' has changed from being abroad. You appreciate it in a renewed and different way than your never-left friends could ever appreciate.
It's not that same 'home' you left because you appreciate it differently now.
Hence you 'can't go home' because you will never again experience 'home' the same way you did before you left.
...and if you appreciate your home more now than you did, that's probably a positive thing!
Mar 18th 2008, 8:12 am
#50
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Thanks for that Tara.. Its certainly puts a different light on things.. if thats how they are feeling... I'll tell my daughter what you said.. maybe she'll get a chance to have a chat with her friends before she returns.. All I want is for her time there to be a positive experiance.. And for the most part she has had a blast! 
She, on the other hand, is quite envious of their university life...so different to here...lots of boozy parties (in the UK!).
I have been the one who has experienced negative, nasty comments from my friends though.
Pittsburgh isn't the most exciting place in the world but it's OK but one friend never misses an opportunity to go on and on about the steel mills (not there anymore) and how filthy it must be etc. How run down, depressing, violent....all based on watching the Deer Hunter.
I know that she was very sad when we left and still misses us so perhaps it's that.
My other close friend kept on saying she hoped we wouldn't get our Green cards because then we would have to go home. (A thought I occasionally had myself).
She was quite serious and never stopped to think of all that we would loose if we had to make a sudden move back.
I hardly speak to either of them now. They have both refused invitations to come over...one won't fly and the other doesn't want to get shot in Pittsburgh!
I think it is perhaps because of sadness mixed with a bit of envy.
Last edited by jumping doris; Mar 18th 2008 at 8:15 am.
Mar 18th 2008, 8:26 am
#51
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
My eldest is 19 and all her friends in the UK are envious of her US experience but in a nice way. They think it must be a blast. Lots of them have been over and they all seem really pleased for her that she is having this experience.
She, on the other hand, is quite envious of their university life...so different to here...lots of boozy parties (in the UK!).
I have been the one who has experienced negative, nasty comments from my friends though.
Pittsburgh isn't the most exciting place in the world but it's OK but one friend never misses an opportunity to go on and on about the steel mills (not there anymore) and how filthy it must be etc. How run down, depressing, violent....all based on watching the Deer Hunter.
I know that she was very sad when we left and still misses us so perhaps it's that.
My other close friend kept on saying she hoped we wouldn't get our Green cards because then we would have to go home. (A thought I occasionally had myself).
She was quite serious and never stopped to think of all that we would loose if we had to make a sudden move back.
I hardly speak to either of them now. They have both refused invitations to come over...one won't fly and the other doesn't want to get shot in Pittsburgh!
I think it is perhaps because of sadness mixed with a bit of envy.
She, on the other hand, is quite envious of their university life...so different to here...lots of boozy parties (in the UK!).
I have been the one who has experienced negative, nasty comments from my friends though.
Pittsburgh isn't the most exciting place in the world but it's OK but one friend never misses an opportunity to go on and on about the steel mills (not there anymore) and how filthy it must be etc. How run down, depressing, violent....all based on watching the Deer Hunter.
I know that she was very sad when we left and still misses us so perhaps it's that.
My other close friend kept on saying she hoped we wouldn't get our Green cards because then we would have to go home. (A thought I occasionally had myself).
She was quite serious and never stopped to think of all that we would loose if we had to make a sudden move back.
I hardly speak to either of them now. They have both refused invitations to come over...one won't fly and the other doesn't want to get shot in Pittsburgh!
I think it is perhaps because of sadness mixed with a bit of envy.
Actually, my parents say the same as your friends. My mother hates to fly and my father is quite proud of the fact that the closest he's been to America was New York harbour in 1940, sitting on the deck of a liner about to be evacuated to Jamaica. He saw the statue of liberty, but never set foot on US soil.
Mar 18th 2008, 8:55 am
#52
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Why would they? They are on holiday for goodness sake, they don't need to learn to fit in when they're only here for two weeks.
It's not the same as living here.We, on the other hand, when visiting Britain, are reverting back to what we previously knew, so hardly a great challenge.
Mar 18th 2008, 9:10 am
#53
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
My English friend and I were just discussing this as we had our British meet-up today and soap addict's friend is going back. Both of us have come across the kind of thing your daughter has experienced.
I think some people who have never moved away from their home area are defensive about it, they think someone who has moved away is showing off if they talk about other places and ways of living. Also they can have preconceived notions about the US and don't want to hear anything else.
I hope your daughter had a good trip anyway.
I think some people who have never moved away from their home area are defensive about it, they think someone who has moved away is showing off if they talk about other places and ways of living. Also they can have preconceived notions about the US and don't want to hear anything else.
I hope your daughter had a good trip anyway.
Mar 18th 2008, 9:26 am
#54
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
I know I never said that when I moved back (I thought I was back for good) but I got all that and the hate US comments (from my OH family) only my family have positive comments to help me here...its sad. Glad I have a couple of friends not like that.
Maybe all cultures are like that and express it in different ways - I don't know but it is sad when people can't be happy for you even if you completely disagree with them and their choices - its just mean and petty IMO.
But I guess the only way to show others how you would like others to act is to lead by example.
Now I sound all self-righteous and pious
Mar 18th 2008, 9:35 am
#55
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
sod the miserable munters, life's to short and there ain't that much time to be had on a holiday, so enjoy the best of it, see things and do things you want to and sod those who bog you down...
Mar 18th 2008, 9:38 am
#56
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Mar 18th 2008, 9:46 am
#57
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Why would they? They are on holiday for goodness sake, they don't need to learn to fit in when they're only here for two weeks. It's not the same as living here.
We, on the other hand, when visiting Britain, are reverting back to what we previously knew, so hardly a great challenge.
It's not the same as living here.We, on the other hand, when visiting Britain, are reverting back to what we previously knew, so hardly a great challenge.
Mar 18th 2008, 9:49 am
#58
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Why would they? They are on holiday for goodness sake, they don't need to learn to fit in when they're only here for two weeks. It's not the same as living here.
We, on the other hand, when visiting Britain, are reverting back to what we previously knew, so hardly a great challenge.
It's not the same as living here.We, on the other hand, when visiting Britain, are reverting back to what we previously knew, so hardly a great challenge.
Mar 18th 2008, 10:13 am
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Re: Why or Why do they react like that?!!
Well just to carry on from original post.. Hubby just came in from work (skiving again !!) Anyway I was telling him about it all.. and he was saying that one of his best mates has stopped emailing him. This mate and family (long time friends, his OH is my best mate) were supposed to be coming out in August. They aren't now.. We weren't entirely sure why. I have a love hate relationship with this fella. He is one of those who feels its his opinion or no opinion, his way or noway kinda thing. Has always been a bit jealous of the relationship I have with his wife 
.. Anyway, he made it known before we left that he felt california was 'soul less'.. which was nice considering the huge step we were about to make.. I have gotten the impression when talking to his wife that he's very unimpressed by what we're up to. He'd be the type to slag America off to us. Anyway, my poor OH, unaware of whats going on (as always 
) has been happily emailing a group of his mates back home, giving them updates, sending pics etc.. mostly chatting about how rubbish Arsenal have been playing to be fair.. and he said today that this mate had just stopped replying to emails... ( OH was only sending one a month or so). Makes me sad.. My OH just wants to keep intouch with the fella, they have been mates since nursery school!... Again.. why can't he just be happy for his mate? .. My OH is happy for him, even if he is a Narrow minded so and so!!
I think they aren't coming because i think it would be too much too bare for him to say he enjoyed it... !! (or am i just being cruel to say that
)
And as a footnote.. it was his 17 yr old daughter who made some of the comments to my daughter
We have got some really lovely friends too... Don't want you lot thinking we only have 'orrible ones
!!) Anyway I was telling him about it all.. and he was saying that one of his best mates has stopped emailing him. This mate and family (long time friends, his OH is my best mate) were supposed to be coming out in August. They aren't now.. We weren't entirely sure why. I have a love hate relationship with this fella. He is one of those who feels its his opinion or no opinion, his way or noway kinda thing. Has always been a bit jealous of the relationship I have with his wife .. Anyway, he made it known before we left that he felt california was 'soul less'.. which was nice considering the huge step we were about to make.. I have gotten the impression when talking to his wife that he's very unimpressed by what we're up to. He'd be the type to slag America off to us. Anyway, my poor OH, unaware of whats going on (as always ) has been happily emailing a group of his mates back home, giving them updates, sending pics etc.. mostly chatting about how rubbish Arsenal have been playing to be fair.. and he said today that this mate had just stopped replying to emails... ( OH was only sending one a month or so). Makes me sad.. My OH just wants to keep intouch with the fella, they have been mates since nursery school!... Again.. why can't he just be happy for his mate? .. My OH is happy for him, even if he is a Narrow minded so and so!! I think they aren't coming because i think it would be too much too bare for him to say he enjoyed it... !! (or am i just being cruel to say that
)And as a footnote.. it was his 17 yr old daughter who made some of the comments to my daughter
We have got some really lovely friends too... Don't want you lot thinking we only have 'orrible ones