Why do they bother?
 

Reading some of the reactions to the Xmas thread, I wonder why the Godsquad bother? I mean if there lives are that great why do they waste so much of it trying to convince us that somehow that our opinions and experiences are 'wrong', which is about as futile as starting a debate on why red is better than blue.

Isn't it strange that one post 'up there' can wind up the Godsquad so much, yet virtually any post down here seems to trigger a reaction the like of which has not been seen since the launch of the Crusades. I imagine up there they have one of those WWII squadron movement boards, deploying little Godzone squadrons whenever there is an 'attack'.

Picture the scene:

Flight Commander is busy waxing the handlebar moustache and enjoying the cheerful subtle singing of a screeching Kookaburra when his serenity is shattered by the 'Red Alert' light flashing and the 'Oz is being criticised' warning siren, which is much more pleasing than aforementioned screeching. In his race to scramble the troops he knocks over his VB, and puts his elbow into a fresh plate of Lamingtons. His dog, who unfortunately was named by Kramer from Seinfeld, so let's call hime 'Rover' instead is going nuts and running around in circles.

He's on the phone quicker than you can say 'A dingo took my baby', but unfortunately Godsquad has outsourced and he has to go through the menu:

"If you think Warney is a legend, press 1"
"If you require a Pavlova recipie, press 2"
"If you can't decide, Holden or Ford, press 3"
"If you're struggling with Thorpie's retirement, press 4"
"If you have Sunrise or Today dilemas, press 5"
"If you think Australia is being criticised, press 6"

Flight Commander presses '6' and receives instructions. The call goes out:

"Scramble, scramble we are under attack, this is not a drill."

In about the same time as it takes Telstra to install a broadband connection, hordes of blue singleted ground crew pull the chocks out from under the wheels and the big Aussie utes, Falcons and Commonbores are rumbling into life ready to defend these non-assimilated unwashed upstarts. Unfortunately nobody is going anywhere until the radios have been tuned into Alan Jones and John Laws. Once that is done, they're away.

And in they come, crashing our little party and about as welcome as a scissor wielding drunken pig at a Bamitzfah. Squealing their little spiels in the same rote type fashion as worked for millions of Chinese and their Little Red Books before them. Their collective power is enough to slightly warm an Aussie snag. The mantra keeps coming.

"Oz is good, Oz is great"
"We like it here, you should to"
"It's cheaper here, can't you see?"
"The people are nice, and the sky is blue"

After some time it becomes apparent (even to them) that this is not going to work.

Adopt Plan B: 'Rubbish the UK'. Different mantra:


"Rip off Britain, is what you'll get"
"The weather's cold, the place is hell"
"The country's full of Eastern Euros"
"We read it in the Daily Mail"


Even Plan B fails to work. Eventually they turn the utes etc around head for the comforts of the Godzone. They cross the border heaving a collective sigh of relief as passports are stamped and complimentary Prozac and sunscreen are handed out on arrival.

Rover is still going nuts, the birds are still screeching, the beer is still crap and the Pavlova is ruined.

Flight Commander asks

"Did you bring back any class, style or excitement while you were there?"

Group Captain announces that indeed the utes were loaded down with such items, but alas were all confiscated at Customs,

"But hey they gave us these neat little pills. Are those birds always that loud?" she asks.

"I don't know what you mean" replies Flight Commander.

Group Captain washes down a Prozac with a VB. "No, I'm not sure what I mean anymore, let's go in and watch Today Tonight". :zzz:

Re: Why do they bother?
 

very funny, karma sent.

Re: Why do they bother?
 

Very good. Would like to see more fun! :D

Re: Why do they bother?
 

I should thank my employers. My contract ends next week, and I have a perm role to go to after that, so basically I'm not being given anything to do, so have waaay to much time on my hands ;)

Re: Why do they bother?
 

:D :D Bloody funny!

Have a VB :beer: !!

Re: Why do they bother?
 

PMSL, v.funny. :D

I remember someone in the MBttUK forum once saying that cockroaches are attracted to sweet things.

Re: Why do they bother?
 

I have been off sick for two days, I should thank mine as well!

Re: Why do they bother?
 

:D :D :D

Re: Why do they bother?
 

We all know and understand that some folk like one thing, others like another. What I don't get is why the Oz lovers come in here, knowing full well they will see critisizing comments, they then get their Kmart knickers in a knot and start bleating on....... :confused:

Re: Why do they bother?
 

Some of the bitterest anti-UK rants have come from people posting in the Xmas thread, but they're the ones always quick to accuse others of vitriol.

Re: Why do they bother?
 

Who the **** are the godsquad and whats the best way to wind them up?

Re: Why do they bother?
 

They're a militant order of trappist monks. The best way to wind them up is to fart during holy communion.

Re: Why do they bother?
 

Sounds like fun. I can fart with the best of them.

Re: Why do they bother?
 

... and Hutch is the head Abbot.

Re: Why do they bother?
 

See the head abbot :D has a new signature, "scum of the world unite" more witty musings of a happy man :eek:

Re: Why do they bother?
 

I would much prefer it if he was a Trapshut monk, rather than a Trappist monk. :)

Re: Why do they bother?
 

Nice to know you still follow my every move with such keen interest. If what I say is such nonsense, why do you lap up every word of it?

Re: Why do they bother?
 

The ignore button is your friend - if I offend that much, use it. Bottom line is that you're everything you accuse me of ... and much much more. You chuck about exceedingly personal insults with no regard for anyone's feelings based on the snippets of information you pick up on these forums.

And all because I disagree with about the relative merits of the UK and Australia ... what a big man you are ...

:rolleyes:

Re: Why do they bother?
 

You have too high an opinion of yourself, as you were being discussed read your signature as last time I read it you were using it to send nasty messages :rolleyes:

Re: Why do they bother?
 

Other than you, I'm not aware of having a go at anybody.. and you brought this on yourself by having a go at me, the first day I posted, for having the temerity not to think that Oz is great as its cracked up to be.

As for handing out personal insults... check your own posts. Count the times you call people morons, arsehole, bell-end and a whole host of other things. Its obviously a journalistic 'talent' you have for not seeing the vitriol in your own postings.

As for ignoring you.. not a chance.

Re: Why do they bother?
 

What has Christmas got to do with Australia vs UK?

I've off to have a shufty at that one.

Re: Why do they bother?
 

You're pretty late in on this one. Did you have trouble tuning your radio? :cool:

Re: Why do they bother?
 

:D :D :D :D k sent
c

the other day (dare i say it?) i went on the PIP website and there was a godsquad whos OP was if you are a whinger f off to Costa del sol. Since he'd only been there a few weeks i pointed out he should not judge others having a hard time too harshly as it may come back to haunt him. Among other things GSquad told me i was a fridgid f**k, ugly,get my tits out(now THAT is a joke!) slut. I was really upset by it and the thread was eventually closed but not because of his inappropriateness, but mine :rolleyes:
and then they wonder why i commented about the type of wa***kers some people let in :rolleyes: honest to god, it was so unprovoked
c

Re: Why do they bother?
 

I saw that one too, I actually know the bloke and he is so not like that in real life so don't know why he posted what he did. Strange.

Re: Why do they bother?
 

Oooh I want to know who that was...I always am so surprised when folk go on meltdown.

Re: Why do they bother?
 

he isn't from this board bb and I don't think he comes on here. him and his wife are really nice people and from your part of the world too.

Re: Why do they bother?
 

Probably drunk and ranting...NOTE TO ALL...do not turn on computer when horribly drunk or pisxed off! :)

...we could all learn from that lesson! :) ;)

Re: Why do they bother?
 

OMG these threads are fukcing hysterical!

soooo much better than thanksgiving TV tonight :D

Re: Why do they bother?
 

That is bad what the hell is wrong with some people.Something in their world thats not ok it's strange but some of the nasty's are not living the perfect life at all (me thinks).

Re: Why do they bother?
 

How awful for you. It really upsets me too when people start hurling personal insults and being nasty just because you dare to have a different opinion.People who resort to this kind of behaviour are obviously unable to communicate through normal means of discussion and so erupt into foul mouthed tantrums.

Do these people behave like this in normal life - I doubt it. So why do it on forums? Are they frustrated, angry, confused because they can't change people's minds? Because we don't have the same love of a place as they do. We actually dare not to enjoy sharing our dinner with a zillion flies or our idea of fun is a bit more than sitting on a beach all day, fishing, or listening to lectures about how great Australia and it's people are.

It amazes me how angry people get too, when anyone even posts something bad about Australia in a jokey way - if the person had done exactly the same thing in the UK, about the UK - everyone would have had hysterics - it's part of being British. Or did these people leave their British sense of humour behind in the UK?

It's interesting to discuss different points of view but you don't have to be rude and insulting to get your point across.

Re: Why do they bother?
 

Are you Chrissy? i also saw that thread. It was disgusting the way he spoke to people. He deserved all the crap he got back, i hope he has been banned!
If it is you Chrissy Kath was asking how you are doing? :)

Re: Why do they bother?
 

Sorry guys, need to put my Mods hat on briefly and refer you all to rule 7 (cos we don't want the thread closed or deleted!)

"7. We realize members of BritishExpats may also be members of other forums, do not try to degrade or discredit other forums, their administrators, moderators, or their members." :o

Thanks

Re: Why do they bother?
 

I think that there's a collective chip on the shoulder of Australia.

I don't really understand it bearing in mind what the country has to offer.

You see it all the time. I can't imagine being in the UK and going on an Aussie Ex-pats site all of the time to defend the UK - I'm happy that the UK is a great country as well as it having downsides. Perhaps it's because the UK is such a major economic and cultural power that makes Brits feel less need to defend it against allcomers.

The Ashes is the latest expression of the chip - the Aussies are desperate to beat the Poms. You here it on talkback radio - just desperate to win - maybe at all costs.

The English can have a superior attitude - and in certain circumstances - such as quality of the media, London, history (empire etc) maybe this is deserved (it's certainly why I never feel offended by being called a Pom or having my country of birth slated. Given the UK's history and all that it has going for it, somebody really verbally attacking the UK is just laughable). But goodness me there is a real issue here with some Aussies.

Have to say that my work colleagues (Aussies) are excellent - no chips at all that I've seen. But they are well-educated and often well-travelled.

Re: Why do they bother?
 

Oh boy, and won't we have to endure hours upon hours of crap and boasting if they beat the UK. They hated it when we won last year. They put it down to the bad weather! :rolleyes:

Re: Why do they bother?
 

Last Ashes series was very funny in my workplace - the Aussie were very happy to discuss it, until the last test. Then when the Poms started to win, the Aussies started to go quiet. When the Poms actually took the Ashes, the Aussies clammed up. I couldn't get a soul to discuss the series after the last day - and that was with me supporting Australia too. They just wanted to pretend it had never happened :confused:

Re: Why do they bother?
 

Same for all the sports. When GB won the first Rugby League test I was told to '**** off' when I tried to talk about it.. odd how they wanted it discussed at length when Oz won the last one.

Re: Why do they bother?
 

That's a neat trick... I didn't actually swear in my post, I an Irish version of 'go forth and multiple' yet it padded it out with ****. Never noticed that before.

Re: Why do they bother?
 

Its a well known fact that the stupid game of cricket was only invented to keep the colonials happy because they got f--k all else to do . ;)

Re: Why do they bother?
 

I cant for the life of me understand this fascination for sport .I couldnt give a rats arse about it ,i used to love going to the football in england but mostly that was because i used to love gettin drunk with my mates and have a good sing song .Now the english are doing it at the criket and how do the aussies react ,well they take our trumpet away and kick him out the ground for a day ,frigginn anti -fun police .

Re: Why do they bother?
 

Fascination? It's complete obsession. A woman I work with (an Aussie) even told me how disgusted she is with the way the country is totally obsessed. It's hard to comprehend just how much it means to them to win - they will do absolutely anything to get a win. I'd heard too about the police in Brisbane threatening the barmy army when they were singing and splitting them up around the ground.

Why do they feel they have to prove themselves so much?

We'll be watching the rugby tomorow night - come on you Kiwis!!