vetnurse1

I returned back to the UK recently for a visit and a funeral after my dad passed away. It was a bit surreal being back and I had a roller-coaster of emotions as you can imagine, seeing friends and family I hadn't seen in over 10 years....

Anyway, it made up my mind that I want to go back, husband more than happy with that, ....16 year old daughter undecided.....as yet.

I was hoping that if daughter decides it's all go, we could be back for her to start the new sixth form or college term in September (that's another mahoosive hurdle) ...however I'm wondering if that's realistic now. We have a house to sell, although if necessary we could rent it out and go. Also have two dogs to organise....a garage full of cr*p to sort out etc etc.
So is that timeline do-able or I am I being stupidly optimistic and unrealistic?
I'm trying not to put any pressure on my daughter while she thinks about it, but she knows we want to go...and she knows we don't have long to make our mind up. (Husband has been offered a house and job on an estate he used to work on).
We've also said it's fine if we stay, so that she can finish school as it's quite possibly THE worst time to move a teenager......
Help ......!!

quoll

She's 16, you're the parents! You have a house and a job on offer - if you don't go now, you will never go! I certainly wouldn't be giving a 16 yr old the final say on the direction of my life! Sure you can do it! It may mean that one of you goes ahead with daughter whilst the other tidies up loose ends but where there's a will .....

Good luck and start de cluttering!

vetnurse1

Interesting viewpoint. We brought her out here when she was a child, as we thought it was a good move. She has spent 9 years growing up here, and has had several moves in that time. I feel responsible for that and I want to make sure she is happy. Perhaps if she was 21 I would feel I had the right to make a decision for myself, because as an adult she could choose to stay. At 16 she can't , so I feel it's my duty as a parent to make sure it's the right decision for all of us. Perhaps that's wrong?

brits1

Hi,

I agree with you and all to often I have seen parents say No to a move because of teenagers and then the teenagers leave home, country, state to start their own lives and a lot of the time the parents are left in a place/area/country they might not be able to move away from. If your truly happy where you are then don't move. We did move with teenagers both still in education and they are thriving

SUPERCAD

We done it Really fast put the house up for sale in mid November sold it in 2 weeks and we were back by 30th Jan.
I really didnt expect the house to go so fast but once that was gone i sold the car and a lot of household stuff. We did take half a container with us. it was pretty easy when i look back but my wife did a hell of a lot as i work FIFO and still do to OZ.

oh and we took to dogs we used Dogtainer who were first class could not fault them, just make sure you get the rabies injection done in time my tip would be do it now as it lasts 2 years and then theirs no way your can get caught out

vetnurse1

Thanks supercad, just emailed dogtainers for a quote. Will get rabies vaccinations sorted out next. Good to know its possible!

old.sparkles

Have you decided what you will do if your daughter doesn't want to leave?

spouse of scouse

No one's going to say you're wrong or you're right - you're going to get a range opinions from your original post but what you do is entirely your choice

This is probably the least of your worries at the moment, but if you haven't already, check out the tax implications of renting your overseas property while living in the UK. Good luck with both your decision and, if it happens, your move back

windsong

Well, I have one month to do it all. Granted, I have already sold everything and that's a huge part of the battle. Just got to get dogs prepped, pack, send a few things over, and buy tickets.

vetnurse1

Yep, we'll stay until she's finished her education here and then reassess. School is the only reason she's unsure about going back. Pretty daunting to start a sixth form in a country you can't remember. We're not desperate to leave, we both have good jobs etc, but feel our heart is still in England. So we can put it off for a few years if we have to.

old.sparkles

Well that's good that you can do that. It is hard with teenagers sometimes.

Spacecake799

Just to let you know, we did that with our 16yr old daughter, we waited 3 years to leave. We took her there it was for her to decide about coming back. As for education, our oldest returned by himself and went to sixth form college to do A'levels.
Good Luck

kazbob

We are in almost the same position, my daughter is 16 but wants to stay here until she has finished high school and then would like to go to Uni in the UK, but this puts us in the position of her being classed as an international student.

I really want to move back, my husband and my son do not. We are going back next month for the first time in two and a half year's, what I want to happen is that we all get that feeling of 'oh no, I can't wait to go back to Canada', but I have a feeling that won't happen.

Can't make any decisions yet, I would love for a crystal ball and someone who can look into the future to tell me what I should do, lol.

Good luck with whatever you do.

Karen

vetnurse1

Thanks - so you took your daughter back at 19? Or she decided to stay in NZ at 19? To be honest I am petrified that if we wait til she is 18 she might have found the love of her life and not want to leave....that would mean leaving both children behind which might then outweigh the reasons for going...the thought of splitting the family up is horrible. And then there may be grandchildren...and I'll be in exactly the same position in the UK missing family here

quoll

You never know where your kids will end up! Even if you stayed she could fall in love with an Aussie and end up in the back of beyond! If you are talking finishing education then effectively you are talking finishing Uni or post school training because it would be prohibitively expensive to return to UK at that point and then, as you say, the love of her life may have stepped upon the scene by then!

The chances are that if you stay you will consign yourself to staying forever so if you can handle that all well and good.

It does actually seem that moving at the beginning of A levels is a good time because kids move into College (well, around here they do) so it's all change for everyone. She can pick up some O Levels en route too I am sure.