What would you do?
May 1st 2009, 2:43 pm
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Leesburg, VA, USA
Posts: 252
What would you do?
I'm looking for opinions on my current situation...I have been back and fore, and cannot make a decision...
I came to the US in 2005, 2006 and 2007 to work at summer camp in CT, and it was there in 05 that I met my now husband. We got engaged Feb 08 and then saved hard all last year, did the K1 visa process, and I arrived in Virginia in January 09, we married in February 09.
Everything has been incredible...considering we had never lived together before everything has been really smooth. I have dealt with some intense homesickness, but other than that everything is hunkydory.
However, I have been offered a job back up in CT over the summer. Hubby and I could REALLY do with the money (we are living pay check to pay check and no savings as such, except my money in case of an emergency flight back to the UK).
I know that this is a job I could do well, I would enjoy and the money would be great.
However, it IS our first year of marriage and I would be away for approx 9-10 weeks, with one maybe 2 visit home to VA over the summer.
I'm just interested in what other people might do in this situation?
Thanks
I came to the US in 2005, 2006 and 2007 to work at summer camp in CT, and it was there in 05 that I met my now husband. We got engaged Feb 08 and then saved hard all last year, did the K1 visa process, and I arrived in Virginia in January 09, we married in February 09.
Everything has been incredible...considering we had never lived together before everything has been really smooth. I have dealt with some intense homesickness, but other than that everything is hunkydory.
However, I have been offered a job back up in CT over the summer. Hubby and I could REALLY do with the money (we are living pay check to pay check and no savings as such, except my money in case of an emergency flight back to the UK).
I know that this is a job I could do well, I would enjoy and the money would be great.
However, it IS our first year of marriage and I would be away for approx 9-10 weeks, with one maybe 2 visit home to VA over the summer.
I'm just interested in what other people might do in this situation?
Thanks
May 1st 2009, 2:55 pm
#2
Lapine Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Austin, Texas in my own little world
Posts: 21,691
Re: What would you do?
Take the job. Having no money in a downturn causes marital stress too.
But... what does your husband think?
But... what does your husband think?
May 1st 2009, 2:57 pm
#3
Just around the next bend
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,276
Re: What would you do?
Many people who post here, myself included, have had long distance relationships for months, if not years. Depends how much you want to do the job, how much you value the extra money, and how your husband feels about the separation. It can be done - if you both want to make it work, it can work.
May 1st 2009, 2:59 pm
#4
Unmitigated Gall
Joined: Dec 2006
Location: it's still too dark to tell
Posts: 16,162
Re: What would you do?
I'm looking for opinions on my current situation...I have been back and fore, and cannot make a decision...
I came to the US in 2005, 2006 and 2007 to work at summer camp in CT, and it was there in 05 that I met my now husband. We got engaged Feb 08 and then saved hard all last year, did the K1 visa process, and I arrived in Virginia in January 09, we married in February 09.
Everything has been incredible...considering we had never lived together before everything has been really smooth. I have dealt with some intense homesickness, but other than that everything is hunkydory.
However, I have been offered a job back up in CT over the summer. Hubby and I could REALLY do with the money (we are living pay check to pay check and no savings as such, except my money in case of an emergency flight back to the UK).
I know that this is a job I could do well, I would enjoy and the money would be great.
However, it IS our first year of marriage and I would be away for approx 9-10 weeks, with one maybe 2 visit home to VA over the summer.
I'm just interested in what other people might do in this situation?
Thanks
I came to the US in 2005, 2006 and 2007 to work at summer camp in CT, and it was there in 05 that I met my now husband. We got engaged Feb 08 and then saved hard all last year, did the K1 visa process, and I arrived in Virginia in January 09, we married in February 09.
Everything has been incredible...considering we had never lived together before everything has been really smooth. I have dealt with some intense homesickness, but other than that everything is hunkydory.
However, I have been offered a job back up in CT over the summer. Hubby and I could REALLY do with the money (we are living pay check to pay check and no savings as such, except my money in case of an emergency flight back to the UK).
I know that this is a job I could do well, I would enjoy and the money would be great.
However, it IS our first year of marriage and I would be away for approx 9-10 weeks, with one maybe 2 visit home to VA over the summer.
I'm just interested in what other people might do in this situation?
Thanks
I've been there, twice. Once when my Wife got the opportunity to work on a movie she really wanted to do and once when she worked 6 weeks (IIRC) at a theatre in Michigan over the Summer. The professional experience was a great addition to her resume, we needed the money and as we didn't have kids yet, it was possible. It wouldn't be so easy now. The seperation was difficult at times, but I'm glad she did it while she could. I think it was worth it.
May 1st 2009, 3:00 pm
#5
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Mar 2008
Location: Leesburg, VA, USA
Posts: 252
Re: What would you do?
Thanks both for the replies...husband is being very supportive and says that if it will make me happy then he will be happy for me...I guess I feel a little selfish for going away so soon (well 4 months) after we married, after being parted by the ocean for so long.
At least we would be in the same time zone!
At least we would be in the same time zone!
May 1st 2009, 3:09 pm
#6
SUPER MODERATOR
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 88,022
Re: What would you do?
A few months after we were married my husband went to work in Holland for 12 months. We managed to see each other for a weekend every few weeks. It was difficult but the upside was we managed to save all his salary which pretty much put us on our feet financially. Looking back it also opened many doors...
May 1st 2009, 3:23 pm
#7
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posts: 4,525
Re: What would you do?
I say take the job, you already know you can do the long distance relationship thing and hey keep in mind absence makes the heart 
(and other things
) grow fonder.
(and other things) grow fonder.
May 1st 2009, 4:12 pm
#9
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: SUSSEX, UK
Posts: 102
Re: What would you do?
You mentioned you'd have maybe two visits home to VA during the summer... would it be possible for hubby to come visit you too. Even with one visit from him the separation would be reduced to perhaps 3 weeks x 3.
I just know that when we were separated by work (and 3 -4,000 miles) that a month was too long.
Still in this economy... while money can't make you happy it sure helps!
I just know that when we were separated by work (and 3 -4,000 miles) that a month was too long.
Still in this economy... while money can't make you happy it sure helps!
May 1st 2009, 4:41 pm
#10
Lapine Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Austin, Texas in my own little world
Posts: 21,691
Re: What would you do?
You mentioned you'd have maybe two visits home to VA during the summer... would it be possible for hubby to come visit you too. Even with one visit from him the separation would be reduced to perhaps 3 weeks x 3.
I just know that when we were separated by work (and 3 -4,000 miles) that a month was too long.
Still in this economy... while money can't make you happy it sure helps!
I just know that when we were separated by work (and 3 -4,000 miles) that a month was too long.
Still in this economy... while money can't make you happy it sure helps!
May 1st 2009, 4:48 pm
#11
WTF?
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Homeostasis
Posts: 79,367
Re: What would you do?
More importantly ... What would Jesus do?
May 1st 2009, 4:51 pm
#12
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 35,082
Re: What would you do?
FWIW, I say go for it. We did a lot of commuting our first year over here and it keeps things exciting!
Plenty of years of dull to come, just ask!
Plenty of years of dull to come, just ask!
May 1st 2009, 5:51 pm
#13
You aint seen me, right?
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: US of A, TN
Posts: 3,573
Re: What would you do?
Depends on how good you are with money. My wife and I are terrible, we live paycheck to paycheck mainly because we just blow it on crap so no matter how much I earn we'd live paycheck to paycheck 
If you're more likely to use the money wisely then go for it. If on the other hand you'll blow it on something you don't need and end up in the same financial situation you're in now then I wouldn't bother.
If you're more likely to use the money wisely then go for it. If on the other hand you'll blow it on something you don't need and end up in the same financial situation you're in now then I wouldn't bother.
May 1st 2009, 6:02 pm
#14
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: VA
Posts: 1,260
Re: What would you do?
I'm looking for opinions on my current situation...I have been back and fore, and cannot make a decision...
I came to the US in 2005, 2006 and 2007 to work at summer camp in CT, and it was there in 05 that I met my now husband. We got engaged Feb 08 and then saved hard all last year, did the K1 visa process, and I arrived in Virginia in January 09, we married in February 09.
Everything has been incredible...considering we had never lived together before everything has been really smooth. I have dealt with some intense homesickness, but other than that everything is hunkydory.
However, I have been offered a job back up in CT over the summer. Hubby and I could REALLY do with the money (we are living pay check to pay check and no savings as such, except my money in case of an emergency flight back to the UK).
I know that this is a job I could do well, I would enjoy and the money would be great.
However, it IS our first year of marriage and I would be away for approx 9-10 weeks, with one maybe 2 visit home to VA over the summer.
I'm just interested in what other people might do in this situation?
Thanks
I came to the US in 2005, 2006 and 2007 to work at summer camp in CT, and it was there in 05 that I met my now husband. We got engaged Feb 08 and then saved hard all last year, did the K1 visa process, and I arrived in Virginia in January 09, we married in February 09.
Everything has been incredible...considering we had never lived together before everything has been really smooth. I have dealt with some intense homesickness, but other than that everything is hunkydory.
However, I have been offered a job back up in CT over the summer. Hubby and I could REALLY do with the money (we are living pay check to pay check and no savings as such, except my money in case of an emergency flight back to the UK).
I know that this is a job I could do well, I would enjoy and the money would be great.
However, it IS our first year of marriage and I would be away for approx 9-10 weeks, with one maybe 2 visit home to VA over the summer.
I'm just interested in what other people might do in this situation?
Thanks
I would go, in the grand scheme of things 9-10 weeks is nothing.
May 1st 2009, 9:36 pm
#15
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 68,280
Re: What would you do?
Wish I could get 9 weeks of peace and quiet ...