BigDavyG

Yep - I mean I'd hardly call someone tight for not paying for half my dinner and I'd be embarrassed to throw less into the middle than my meal actually cost.

snowbunny

So y'all are into "Dutch treat" then.

britvic

lol bloody right mate

Elvira

In terms of etiquette rules, the boyfriend has committed a huge faux-pas by 'inviting' others to an expensive fancy restaurant, but expecting them to foot the bill. Her friend, by not calling him on it, is complicit in said faux-pas.

Englishmum would be perfectly within her rights to request that they stick to the original plan, or find an alternative venue which everyone is happy with.

However, at the end of the day, only she knows whether she would feel comfortable raising the issue with her friend.

One possible solution might be to go along with the dinner, but 'downgrade' the expensive jewellery gift to a more token present.

BigDavyG

Indeed - Elizabeth Duke do some lovely necklaces and sovereign rings I believe

Englishmum

This is the weird thing; the group consists of 5 Aussies, 2 Brits and 1 American (the boyfriend) and I reckon his mother will be there (Ukrainian matriarch).

The boyfriend is the biggest tightwad that I've ever met in my life, although he is gorgeous eye candy. For example, about a year ago he bought a cottage in the Catskills mountains in upstate NY: it's his 'lovenest' and he plans to rent it out during the ski season and during the Summer hols.

Well, we were invited to go up there last October. It has two bedrooms and a basement to be used as an additional bedroom (which was unhabitable as there was junk in it and a dead mouse so the room was smelly). The bedroom we were allocated had no doors on it and the IKEA bed hadn't been assembled, nor had the IKEA bedside tables. My husband spent the afternoon assembling everything whilst the boyfriend was powerwashing his deck outside! The following morning my husband was putting up shelves, coatracks and installing electrical sockets. A couple of trips to the hardware shop 7 miles away was required to buy additional screws etc. and as a housewarming gift I'd bought a cast-iron fondue set plus all the ingredients.

We ended up using the bread for breakfast toast so my friendasked her boyfriend to buy a loaf of bread for the fondue (for lunch). My husband doesn't eat cheese, so when they were in the deli he ordered a turkey sandwich. The shop assistant at the till asked the boyfriend "Are you together" He replied "yes - but we are paying seperately".

My husband was mortified! We haven't told my friend......

.....so I do think it's a bit odd that he's booked this expensive restaurant.


Generally if we do go out in a group we all chip in and split the bill (even when some people do choose a more expensive item to eat, and we even share drinks despite my spouse only drinking coke. But this is a more expensive place than we would normally go to.

Just remembered something else; we were in the Buddha Bar in NYC having a meal, just the four of us. My friend had to prompt her boyfriend to get his credit card out on that occasion - it's almost always her card which they use.

TouristTrap

I won't say a word, but you just KNOW what I'm thinking............

Bob

If your good mates, tell her he's just a tw@ arsed tightwad...you'll feel so much better

Elvira

OH MY GOD !!!

I have huge big warning bells going off all over the place.

(BTW, I'm with you on the splitting bills thing; I hate it when people work out their share to the nth degree - unless their is a significant difference in consumption.)

Englishmum

Ha ha ha!

I got her a David Yurman bracelet......Kate Moss and the celebs wear this stuff... my friend is a model so likes the bling - I passed on the H Stern earrings as I went into their Fifth Ave showroom and when they deigned to speak to me in there I discovered that they start at $800...

Englishmum

Please do share! I'm in the dark you know...?!

BigDavyG

That's annoying too but are you seriously telling me that people never look at the prices when they order.
I know my starter was about $5, main $20 and dessert $5 so I'll throw in $40 to cover tax and tip plus extra for any drinks.

Its either one extreme or the other here - seeing a group of 4 whip out 4 credit cards and pay separately also makes me laugh - where is the commonsense ???

Personally I don't like tightwads who don't pay for their food and by the sounds of things the person who booked the restaurant in this story is going to go to town on Staurday and then get everyone else to contribute to his gluttony.

Jerseygirl

LOL we have a friend just like that. Always orders last and orders the most expensive dish and extra sides. He usually forgets his CC and of course never carries cash.

He's probably hoping you're all gonna chip in and pay for their meal as it's her birthday.

Have you asked how the others feel about this? If someone else in the group feels the same it may make you feel better if you have support. FWIW I would convey your feelings to your friend...if she's a good friend she'll understand.

Elvira

I would not want to speak for TT, but I suspect she's thinking along the same lines as me...

mozoo

I think you've hit the nail right on the head.