What makes us different?
 

Hi all

I have been a member for a while now and have experienced life in Aus for two years and the UK for 41 years.

In 2005 I was desprate to leave the UK for a better life in Australia, now I want to go home to England.....I dont dislike living in Australia,but I dont want to live here any more and feel my roots are in England. For those of you who feel like this, why is this so?

Re: What makes us different?
 

For me, I moved to the US not for a better way of life as such, but to be with my hubby. He was born and raised here. Now, 4 and a half years later, I want to go back to the UK so badly. At first I thought it was just extreme homesickness, but now I know it isn't, for several reasons:

People here just don't get my humor. Brits are known for sarcasm and dry wit. If I say something sarcastic that would normally get a laugh out of someone that gets it, I just get looked at like I'm a real snob!

It's way too hot. Some days in S. Florida, it's almost impossible to breathe, and if you don't put up your sunshade up in the car, when you get back in, you'll suffer 3rd degree burns from the steering wheel! Also, if you're not worrying about a tornado popping up in a severe afternoon storm, you're worried about hurricanes and brush fires. (There was a fire just up the road from me yesterday and a lot of residents were evacuated. :( ) I know that you need to worry about weather everywhere in the world, but it shouldn't have to be a daily stresser! I've developed a very big phobia of bad weather since being here. Storms in England are nothing compared to the ones I've seen here.

The health system, but I won't even go into that. :sneaky:

Lack of vacation time, but again, I won't go into that. ;)

Most of all, missing important events in my family's life. Every week, it seems there's something going on, and I hate not being part of it.

In all, there are many reasons why I should go back, and not many to make me stay. I want to leave before I resent it here so much that I wouldn't want to come back ever, even for a holiday. I may be making a mistake and looking at the UK through rose-tinted glasses, but I have to follow my heart. The world won't end if I do decide to come back to the US permanently.

Re: What makes us different?
 

Could be any number of reasons. Missing family and friends is probably always the biggest big pull. I made friends in Aus, but as well as we got on, they couldn't replace the childhood friendships I still have, and my now closest friends who I've known for around 20 years. For me anyway, after that, there's other day-to-day living stuff that sounds trivial when you were in the UK and you thought it wouldn't matter, but now it does, like coming home from work, switching on the TV and thinking "This is rubbish. I don't identify with any of this." There'll be an advert for the Sydney Gerbils versus the Melbourne Morons vest-wearing egg-chasing punching match and you just don't get excited by it like everyone else seems to be. If you grew up on football in the UK, it just doesn't cut the mustard. Then you go to the pubs and think the ones in the UK are much better (mainly because they are), and they can't replace what you had before either. You get bored of beaches and BBQs and realise there just isn't enough there to keep you interested. Once you've driven to everywhere within a reasonable distance you realise you've seen it all and it feels isolated. And then there's the media who rarely miss the chance to have a dig at "poms", and make you feel about as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. All this was from my perspective, but everyone who feels like you probably has a list of similar stuff. So to answer your question about feeling like your roots are in England, that's basically it. You're not Australian, and you don't feel part of the culture there. It feels like you don't really belong. And bingo, you're homesick.

There's also this "lifestyle" nonsense. I'm sounding like a stuck record here, but it's easy to look at TV images of people frolicing on beaches and sitting outside coffee bars with their shades on and thinking, "that looks great! What a lifestyle. I'm gonna get me some of that". But lifestyles not about that. It's about friends, not being homesick every day and being in an environment that keeps you interested in life. There's a reality of actually living and working in Aus which isn't explored by those "get a new life" TV programs, and one which you can't discoverer by going there for a few months backpacking or whatever. It's just not the same.

Besides, moving back is great. Do what I did and pick a nice area that you've always fancied, not to far from work/friends etc, and start again.
You also have the added bonus that you see things in a different light over here and feel a lot more positive. (I do anyway :thumbsup:).

Hope this is of some use. Good luck in whatever you do.:thumbup:

Re: What makes us different?
 

I think its because it took the move to make you realise what makes a place "home" to you.

Re: What makes us different?
 

95% of the people in this world that we live in thinks "a better life" = having more STUFF,then after they have reached their goals and got their money and a house full of stuff they realise that you can't talk to stuff or hold it in your arms and let it know how much you care for it.
People matter and everything else is just gravy.


this statement is true........your "happiness" will not be decided by what material possessions you accumulate rather the human relationships in which you participate.
ALL HUMANS want 1 thing and 1 thing ONLY.............happiness........ and you will find it in people

Re: What makes us different?
 

Karma worthy indeed :thumbup:

Re: What makes us different?
 

hello i am up now....and no one is home to help me with my hang over....i could just do with a britvic.........that last bit is very true isn't it.......nice words about happiness:thumbup:

Re: What makes us different?
 

Hello you :) I have no pitty for ya :p

Re: What makes us different?
 

actually i don't have a hang over as i didn't drink that much really....off to have eggs and bacon....it's nice and sunny and warm and i think i will go for walk on beach.....:thumbsup:

Re: What makes us different?
 

Have a good one then, I must get to bed in a mo :zzz: night.

Re: What makes us different?
 

I can only speak for my experiences in Perth.

We've now decided that we will not educate our kids at upper secondary level or at university here.

(I hasten to add that this is purely my opinion - not fact!) We feel that there are better education standards in the UK at upper secondary and better higher education - choice, quality and reputation. So we will most definitely NOT be here when our kids get to the age of 14.

Re: What makes us different?
 

i miss all my family in the uk....i miss having a cup of tea with my aunties and mum....and shopping with them.....sharing my life with them... but i can be happy without them too....i appreciate all the worldly possessions i have and i am thankful for my health and that i have food and clothes.. and a job etc....i also think it is important to "stop and smell the roses" and live today... everyday has a new thing to learn and a new memory to create.....and a feeling to feel. i watched a program on the telly the other day about an illusionist he said "to feel pain is to know you are alive"... perhaps that's why we have moved away... to feel the pain of it.....it's the old thing "you don't know what you have until it's gone" i went back to uk to be with my gran as she was the best person in the world and i spent 6 years with her before she died.....at her funeral my cousin who lived 3 hours drive from my nan and never went to see her.. said she felt guilty for not visiting more often....it was too late...if you feel strongly about a relationship... sometimes you have to make personal sacrifices to nourish those relationships...my children got to grow up with my gran around... they remember her.....no amount of material wealth can replace that for them or for me...i am so glad i went back....i came back to aus really for my husband... and then you get stuck.....i have now made a vow to see my family at least one a year... they come to visit me and i will not hesitate to go back to UK at anytime should i feel the need to... I always have the airfare...if that is the only financial goal to have then that is it...go home when ever you want.... living abroad isn't a competition of who can stick it out the longest.....i feel in my bones that i will go back to live there again....it's home really isn't it?:wub:

Re: What makes us different?
 

Sometimes you just can't lose the Englishness...so you have to go back to feel at peace.
I myself am starting to feel the pain of not living in the UK, but still want to be in OZ. I am as confused as many.

Re: What makes us different?
 

Just popped in,Good luck to all of you,I hope you all find what your looking for,nice words :)

Re: What makes us different?
 

Great post thanks for that.
I think i just miss my family and am tired of never really fitting in or finding friends who get me (except other expats!)