lgabriel73

New to the site and currently contemplating moving back to the UK after 17 years in the US. The past few years have been bad for me in the US, had brain surgery, lost my job, and now beginning to wonder why I should stay. My family is in the UK and I miss them especially with what i have gone through. Just dont know how to make the decision. If I go back then I wont be able to come back and live in the US as I'll have to give up my employment based adjustment of status. Been waiting for my green card for 9 years and its one delay after another. I'm 38, single, have a dog who I would bring with me, have a few close friends but everything else I have int he US is just material. Just wondering what helped others made the decision??

curleytops

I came back to get married. Although my husband was willing to consider a move to Canada, I felt more at home in England than I did in Canada and didn't want to uproot him. Most of my immediate family are still over there. Things have been somewhat difficult since I returned in April 2011 due to health and employment issues but they can happen anywhere and I'm happy with the decision I made. That being said, had it not been for getting married I honestly doubt I would have had the courage to make the move home alone. I have the utmost respect for those here who have been brave enough to come home and settle on their own.

I guess it all comes down to what's important to you yourself and you have to come to terms with the fact that there will inevitably be some sort of compromise involved in whatever decision you make. It's natural to have second thoughts about your situation in life after a major health issue; has it been very long since your surgery? Take your time to think things out and all the best with whatever you decide. Hope you'll let us know how you're making out

MrMuffin

I am planning a move back from USA to UK after more than 23 years because of family back in the UK. Reading through many of the postings on here, from people already moved and those planning moves... it seems like a fairly common thing. Sounds like you moved over at a similar time to me originally.

When you're young you take chances and do things quickly without thinking through everything. What I have missed most over the years is being able to pop over to my Mum's, Nan's or sister's house for a cup of tea and a chat. Sure you can do that on the phone but it's not the same. Plus when you do get a trip together, you have to pack so much in before saying goodbyes that all of a sudden you're on your way back. Plus the relationship changes so much because of all the daily bits and bobs you miss out on. So when you do get together for a holiday/vacation, you're experiencing the holiday/vacation kind of relationship.

I have a family myself now and I am looking forward to having the family support system behind me too. Plus as relations get more elderly, I want to be right there. I am sure there are a lot of reasons for the move back, but for me it's family. I know it's not going to be easy and I also know that after this period of time, everything isn't going to quickly fall back into place for me, but the UK is my home and I can't wait to be back.

lgabriel73

Thanks for the response. Its been a year since my surgery and I think going through that experience may have been a catalyst for my wanting to go back. With a major event you re-evaluate what is important in your life and it has been hard to go through it without my family close by. Now that I am unemployed I find myself missing them more. I have so much time on my hands and think how great it would be to be able to just go see my Mum and hang out with my niece and nephew. I came over here I guess to live the dream and to be something different but now I dont even know what the dream is. Even if I got a job I am tied to one occupation due to INS and I'm kind of done with that career after 16 years. I think one of the hard things is that I have spent my whole adult life in the US and dont know what adult life would be like in the US, when I think of living in the UK I think of how it was when I was 20 before I left. I'm going back for a visit in two weeks so I am hoping the trip will give me some clarity and help me make a decision. Boy it was so much easier to up and leave everything when I was 20, wish it was that easy now.

curleytops

After a year you've had enough time to think about this rationally so its not like a snap decision. Good idea to have a trip back (most of us did the recce thing first) - while you're here try not to see the UK through tourist's eyes. I was here for 4 weeks back in October 2010 and tried to balance visits with long lost friends and family with doing as many of the ordinary mundane everyday things as possible to try and get a feel for the place. The UK is a very different place from the one you left - that goes without saying but then you are a very different person too. Try to stay objective - the UK is not as dire as some would have you believe but then its not the bed of roses some can claim it to be either.

Tel8

I think curleytops mentioned several really good points in her posts- it's not a snap decision and it's going to involve compromise.
I'm heading back in two weeks as of tomorrow and it took me around 4 months to come to a definitive decision. My big compromise is that I'll be leaving my parents behind in the US, and going back to a life I never had to begin with (I left England at 2 years old). So there's a lot involved for anyone. I think what's helped me the most in terms of getting through it is simply knowing that it's something I've wanted for so long, that I've never felt 'at home' here no matter how long I've been here, and that I can still see my mum and dad when I want to (probably more than if I stayed here to be honest). I'm 22 and it's not as easy as you think to leave things at this age - thank goodness for my facebook addiction!

Like anything else in life, you kind of have to just give yourself a chance to really figure out where your heart is- and if that means ping ponging, then that's what you have to do. You don't want to spend the rest of your life wondering what if!

sallysimmons

I thought about it for about a year before I decided and then it took my husband another year or so to come round to agreeing. In the end, what swayed us both was the fact that we were lonely over there but have lots of friends and family here.

Just this week we went to a wedding, met up with some friends for dinner, and today we're off over to see my BIL for his birthday. It never stops!

That's what we were missing and once we realized it, moving back was a no-brainer for us.

lf1

It took me a few years to come to the decision, but a series of small events pointed me in the direction of moving back to the UK. It really hit home to me in 2008 when I was in holiday in Scotland and didn't get that feeling that it was time to return to my "home" in Canada. I just wanted to stay and enjoy the people, the landscape and the architecture. Then I started to put roadblocks in the way e.g. dreading the thought of driving in the UK, leaving my good friends behind, missing the sunny skies etc. Over a period of time I started to deal with the roadblocks and came to the understanding that I would have to give up somethings, but I would be gaining other things (by things I don't mean material items).

In 2009 OH and I walked the West Highland Way and he came to the conclusion, during that holiday, that he wanted to live in the UK. That is when we seriously started planning our return.

One of the questions I asked myself is "if money were no object, where would I want to live" and the answer is the UK. A mansion in Hawaii, Florida or some exotic island doesn't have the appeal that living in the UK does. I have been back for two weeks, but it still feels as though I am on holiday, so I can't give you any insight on how being back really feels.

I do hope that you are now well, following your surgery and that you will find the right answer for you. As you have family in the UK that should help to make the transition a little easier, if you do decide to return.

Best of luck and I hope you will find support in this forum, just as I have over the years.

MartynK

I think it's different for everyone.

I grew up in the UK, and lived in South Africa for thirty odd years. Both our kids were born there and are still in Joburg. My wife returned to Scotland in 2006 for family reasons, and persuaded me to come back in 2009. This was a mistake. SA is my home now, and I miss it badly. I was hoping to go back next month, but it looks like January now. Can't wait!

Brigette

For me the decision was multifaceted. One I just missed home (I left when I was 5 or 6) and spent most of life in the US. I have always wanted to return home, but the living arrangements kept me at bay. When I contacted family and learned that I could stay with them until I got myself on my feet, it made the decision easier. The second reason was that I missed Europe. One may ask how can you miss Europe when you left at such a young age? Well I've visited a lot (last time visited was Spring break March 2012, in Paris) and that's when I knew I just wanted to be in Europe.

There are other reasons but I guess the aforementioned will suffice for now

ETA:
I should add I haven't moved back yet but my fingers are crossed that I will be able to move next year. Navigating through the HCPC application process now. That is the only hold up. Because my profession is a protected title in the UK I now have to jump through all kinds of hoops from the HCPC to get my degree assessed.