What have you learnt?
 

In the time that you have been away from the UK?

We've been gone for just over a year and are due to return in August.

For me I have learnt that I don't really need the big 4 bedroomed house that we sold before we left. I don't really need 2 bathrooms and I certainly don't need all the electricals, tupperware, serving platters and furniture that we do have!

So much that we're doing things the different way round in that we're selling everything and setting up again when we return.

We're heading back to a 2 bedroom cottage with a lovely garden.

I do however (and will never get over) selling my beloved BMW before we left the UK.....if only I thought to leave it with a friend!

I have also learnt that although I don't have any immeditate family in the UK, my friends (the real true ones) are hugely important to me and my life and family.

Re: What have you learnt?
 

That you never know what life will throw at you next.

That "home" means a lot of different things to different people.

That wherever you live, there you are (Google it).

That you should think very carefully before giving up what you have presently.

Re: What have you learnt?
 

hmmm.... well, I've learnt some things being here for the best part of 2 years...

Location means nothing really, it's who you share it with that matters the most.

That happiness is my decision and mine alone. Nobody else can make me feel happy or unhappy, unless I choose to let them. ( I was surprised at this, but it really was a simple as making a decision not to let the actions/words of others affect my mood)

I've also learnt that I also have way too much plastic in my kitchen cupboards!

Lastly, I've learnt that spending money on experiences rather than products certainly makes me happier.... I don't regret spending the best part of £30,000 getting us over here..... It's been a whole lot more fun than buying a new car or paying another chunk off of the mortgage!

Re: What have you learnt?
 

Allipally you are so true in what you say!

We spent the best part of 50 grand on our Canadian experience including buying a house and a car along with student fees, they were the happiest two years of my life. Alas not the same for my wife and hence the reason for being back in Blighty. I would not have swopped it for the world and yes definately far better than car buying or paying off a mortgage.

I have been back exactly a year now and although we both have great jobs and good salaries, she is truly happy and I feel permanently lost. I have read threads on here about not feeling as though you belong and that is so me. I try to keep it to myself most days so as not to cause long term damage but it is a strange feeling. The UK is still a good place to live and has many quality attributes.

I most definately learnt that I am not at all materialistic and that when I had very little in terms of disposable income in Canada with a low paid job that was very rewarding I was in heaven. In the UK I am off soon to Egypt for an all inclusive holiday and later in the year off to Marrakech for another all inclusive but I am bleeding miserable?

Re: What have you learnt?
 

To appreciate the little things that are taken for granted in the UK
(24 hours clean water - oh to be able to brush my teeth with tap water!!)

Not to gripe about little things too much as so many are in such difficult situations around the world.

To enjoy the rain that goes down the drain!!

Re: What have you learnt?
 

I've learned.
I'm a worrier
People before things
Family and friends are all that count in the end.

Re: What have you learnt?
 

You sound like me. Couldn't agree more:thumbsup:

Re: What have you learnt?
 

I've learnt that the grass is NOT always greener on the other side, and also that what makes you happy might not make your partner happy, and that is a very difficult issue to resolve.

Re: What have you learnt?
 

Grass is not always greener. Sharing life with family and friends is more important to me than the open space, cheaper housing etc. Also living in Toronto in general is not that cheap!

Re: What have you learnt?
 

As many of you have already pointed out I've learned that connections with people and places are important to me and that I'd taken it for granted before.
Real meaningful connections with friends and family and also sometimes complete strangers. Last year while waiting for a flight to Glasgow I got chatting to a Glasweigan woman about my age and for 20 mins we swapped life stories, had a laugh and then went our separate ways. That never happens here in BC.
I've learned that I don't want a lovely big house that uses up all my money so that I can't afford to ski or go to Hawaii and that 4 toilets to clean ( with 3 boys somehow always managing to miss them ) is way too many. :frown:

Re: What have you learnt?
 

I totally agree with your comments as i have said on many of these forums that emmigration can cost you your marriage, it hasn't ours but we were nearly there when I didn't settle in NZ and hubby and kids loved it!!!

:)

Re: What have you learnt?
 

Please indulge me…………


I rocked back in my chair, one foot hooked under the base of the heavy wrought iron table and tilted my head slightly to maximise the warm sun on my face. The wine, a crisp, dry white, effected in me a pleasant, happy disposition, aided as it was by the revitalising rays of the sun. On entering the small courtyard the scent of jasmine, honey suckles and lavender invaded the senses. The table where I sat was partially shaded under the blossom laden branches of a Morello cherry tree and the weathered brick walls were the hue of terracotta mixed with pewter. An occasional breeze coming off the harbour rustled the fronds of the surrounding palms, causing their long broken shadows, to dance over the other empty tables and uneven flag floor. One gust, a little stronger than the others, released a light shower of white petals, which fluttered down like a fine dusting of snow. I was early; I always seem to be, this time in anticipation of good food shared with friends.

Taking the bottle out of the dented ice bucket, she proceeded to top up my glass and as she did I couldn’t help but catch her glance, almond shaped eyes set in a classically proportioned face. A slightly more Latin version of Jane Seymour. She replaced the bottle in the ice bucket and disappeared into the kitchen. I again rocked back on my chair when suddenly the pigeons and sea birds that had been roosting amongst the red tiled roofs, squawked and flapped as a pair of Little Egrets flew over. Further off and wheeling high on thermals I could just make out a pair of large birds of prey soaring high above the harbour. Peregrines were occasionally seen over the old town, but these looked to be Common European Buzzards. These impressive predators recognisable by their thick short neck, broad almost moth like wings, and fan tail are plentiful here in these southern climes. They probably had young to feed and had obviously taken an interest in the chicks nested in the roofs above the cobbled streets of the Old Town. As they closed in a squadron of gulls took off, with a great beating of wings and ear splitting raucous cries they closed to engage the intruders. The gulls were fearless in the defence of their nests and soon the raptors were beating a hasty retreat back across the islands to the sparsely populated peninsula from whence they came. Although set back from the actual fishing quay itself and surrounded by old buildings that obscure the views, it was the smells and sounds that gave this place its atmosphere. The gulls, boat sirens and peeling bells from the church accompanied by the babble of water from the fountain in the old square. Fresh herbs, basil, oregano and that most Mediterranean herb marjoram, along with cilantro and crushed garlic; the smell of seared fresh fish, lamb and fowl cooked over charcoal and wood, infused the air.

Making the decision to move and bring the family here was the best decision we had made. If you don’t try it you’ll never know. Back there it was all going down hill. The bloated government was squeezing the middle class with stealth taxes, whilst at the same time allowing the health and education systems to fail the public. With the price of everything from petrol, property tax and utilities rising, the only thing the government seemed to have control of was the inflation figures that they manipulated lower! To top it all immigration was out of control. These factors combined with our new appreciation; that although the grass may be longer and greener in a warmer clime, that doesn’t necessarily translate into it being better, made our decision to relocate back from Florida, to home here in the UK so easy! I raised my glass up high. The contents ice cold, light amber in colour, glass etched with condensation and back lit by the clear blue Dorset sky. It was the late Oliver Reed, character actor and hell raiser, who once said life looks rosier through the bottom of a pint glass. I tilted my head back and with great accuracy spat the olive stone into the sub tropical border and slugged a third of the glass back. The hostess reappeared abruptly!

“What are you doing? The guests will be arriving any minute!”
“I’m seeding an olive grove by natural placement”. “The Man who Planted Trees!” I exclaimed.
“You’re not going to drink too much are you, darling?”
“Define too much, we have 12 bottles in the fridge, 75 in the garage and Cherbourg is only three and a half hours by ferry!”
Her almond eyes narrowed.”You know there’s a fine line between a charming bon-viveur host and an opinionated, boorish, person falling off a chair!”
“Never underestimate slapstick, as a medium for dinner party entertainment” I retorted. “But your point is well made”.

Sliding the glass away from me across the table to accentuate my self discipline and temperance, I said “do you need any help darling?” Just then the doorbell rang.
“Yes answer the door!”

Our dinner guests started to arrive and with cork screw in hand I slipped naturally into my role as head Sommelier! I may not be a connoisseur but I drink more than most and it has to be really bad for me to spit it out! Dorset may not be the Med, Australia’s Gold Coast or the Caribbean. However Poole Harbour with its islands and inlets, the Old Town Quay and specifically our little house with its patio garden is the centre of the Dorset Riviera! Having tried a different ‘place in the sun’ it was good to be back home from our Orlando Odyssey!

They say that travel broadens the mind and having travelled extensively until now I still didn’t really get it. However, our US sojourn now allows us to view our ‘Old/New life’ back here in the UK in a new and totally different context. With it has come the realisation that having been and done it, we now know what we want, and what’s really important to us. This perspective on ones life is not often afforded before it’s too late and it’s a key piece of the jigsaw which makes up the Holy Grail of happiness and contentment.

My advice to any family thinking of emigrating is don’t do it if you have to sell your UK home or if anyone in your party has any doubts about wanting to go. By all means go for it as for many it’s the best thing they’ve ever done, but always have a plan ‘B’, an exit strategy. If the ‘Journey is truly the Destination’, make sure you always have a return ticket!

Re: What have you learnt?
 

Happiness comes from within.

(apparently)

Re: What have you learnt?
 

love what you wrote pablo1

Re: What have you learnt?
 

I have learned that many things in life make you happy and there are lots of things that dont.

You could be living in a mansion and have all the money you need and be unhappy and you could be living in a small house and be happy.

If you are not happy where you are or with your situation then only you can change it. Being unhappy is a waste of your time and your life.

Indulge stuff that makes you happy, be around people you like, live in a place that makes you happy.

Unhappiness is baggage I no longer want to carry and I choose not to.

Re: What have you learnt?
 

We are returning for work (so reluctantly) but I have learnt, although sometimes quick decisions are good, sometimes you should not make snap judgements.

I was keen to return to UK in my first 2 years in Oz , then sometime in year 3 I realised melbourne had grown on me.

Now I am really sad to be leaving behind all the friends we have made, and the things we are familiar with....but we will be back.

Re: What have you learnt?
 

I am not returning, but I have learnt the true meaning of this quote.

"If you dont achieve peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else".

Re: What have you learnt?
 

I've learnt that being away from Australia has only strengthened the things that I disliked about living there.

But I've also learnt that despite the UK offering me everything I wanted and being as great as I knew it would be, that somehow I/we don't belong here, as a couple long term.

I've learnt that the things that I use to rely on England for to define and centre me, actually reside in Mrs T now. She is my country, my centre, my sense of purpose and the reason I get up each day* If she's happy, I'm happy.

After living in 5 countries I've learnt I can live anywhere, but truly belong nowhere. I've learnt it takes a great deal of inner strength to confront these things. I've learnt I have that strength.:thumbup:

It's been sad and empowering at the same time.;)










* plus the odd triathlon and cycle race. :thumbsup:

Re: What have you learnt?
 

What a lovely, lovely post Pablo, thank you.

Re: What have you learnt?
 

Pablo, beautiful words......written so well.......was that your words or from a book?

What have you learnt?
 

To stay where I am!

Re: What have you learnt?
 

I've learned:
.
1. To truly not sweat the small stuff; it all works out in the end.
2. That I have more emotional strength than I ever gave myself credit for.
3. To focus my energy on things I can change, rather than whining about things I can't.
3. To truly appreciate my family rather than take them for granted.
4. That positive thinking reaps positive rewards.
5.. That every cloud, no matter how black, has a silver lining. Sometimes we've got to look for it, but it's always there. :thumbsup:.
6. That life is only as difficult as I choose to make it - regardless of where I live.


.

Re: What have you learnt?
 

Lestagirl

When we came back from Florida I wrote a few essays about before during and after our move, just jottings really. The whole experience had a huge impact on me. So all my words not from a book, I wrote about 75 thousand in total……….good therapy!!!

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...=532669&page=3 post 33

Another one…..

Pablo1

Re: What have you learnt?
 

Lovely words Pablo!!

Re: What have you learnt?
 

As mentioned previously, that the grass is not greener. That I will probably have eternal itchy feet, it's probably in the genes. That I get a warm feeling inside that is difficult to explain, when I return to the UK. It just feels like home.

Re: What have you learnt?
 

We left the UK in 1995 and are planning to return in 2012.

What have we learnt:

The Bahamas is one of the best places in the world for a holiday, but the optimum time to be a resident is about three years.

Don't live in The Netherlands unless you are Dutch or are direct to the point of being rude or arrogant.

The Irish are even more welcoming than the Bahamians (but only just) and when you eventually leave your liver will have been very well trained for any social challenge in the future.

Your children will accept and embrace all colours, creeds and cultures if they are exposed to them. They will also see the whole world as an opportunity and not just one particular corner of it.

Maintaining contact with friends and family has to be worked on but is worth every effort.

When a partner is signalling that it is time to go "home", plan carefully for the children's sake, but make it happen to an agreed timetable.

Look back at your travels as a marvellous adventure (those rose-tinted spectacles help with this, anyway) and be thankful that the right opportunities presented themselves at the right time.

Re: What have you learnt?
 

I have learned that just because two people agree on emigrating to another country, that doesn't mean they'll both always agree on everything ... like when it's time to go home to England ... or if it will ever be time.

I've also learned that I find platitudes like 'follow your dreams' to be intensely irritating. If only life were that simple.

Re: What have you learnt?
 

Yes the follow your dreams bit gets me as well.

Following my bloody dreams would be like using a Sat Nav that didnt correspond with the area - I would end up all over the place not knowing which direction to take:huh:

Re: What have you learnt?
 

I have learned that I know nothing about anything.
I can feel as frightened as when I was a child.
There is a saying that making a decision is the death of possiblities and I have learned the truth of that.

Re: What have you learnt?
 

That basing large changes on emotions should always be backed up by logic and have a good follow thru!

To be open to change and to be solid in your planning.

Life is never easy and the more people you have depending on you the more complicated it gets.

That i CAN learn and i am not as closed minded as most of my extended family.

Never trust bad people.... they are not capable of being nice no matter how good of actors they are! Go with your gut!

Re: What have you learnt?
 

Making a decision is the easy part. Having to live with the consequences of the decision is much harder.

Re: What have you learnt?
 

Too true!

Re: What have you learnt?
 

Yes we would agree this this statement wholeheartedly :)

Re: What have you learnt?
 

That marrying the boy next door may have been easier. (I'll keep him though as he's quite lovely).
I HATE paper work.
I LOVE my family and friends.
There is more to life than a pretty place.
That what is a good idea one day can change the next.
That life is good so long as those I love are happy and well.
There is no perfect place, there is no perfect time.....
Life is good.

Re: What have you learnt?
 

I have learned that after 3 attempts at Oz life...it's the UK we call home!!

I have learned that no matter how many friends you make, it's no substitute for family!!

I have learned that when my Daughter cried at leaving her Grandma when she was 4, she will never "just get over it"!!

I have learned that 3 attempts in Oz will zero your bank account:eek:

I have learned that time goes pretty slow when you are living in limbo land!:frown:

I have also learned that going to Ikea is a bad idea when you know you can't buy anything as we are selling everything to go back!! (went with a friend):rofl:

LibbyX

Re: What have you learnt?
 

IKEA is ALWAYS a bad idea! I used to go for a pot plant or a set of cutlery and return with a bed, or a futon......it was never less than 3 figures!

Re: What have you learnt?
 

Ha ha, I know it's shocking...and a hot dog even if you have already had lunch!!:rofl:

LibbyX

Re: What have you learnt?
 

Family and Friends are everything.

I would prefer to be irritated or annoyed by my family than not have them around at all. I left over 6 years ago. My son was 8 and my daughter 6 they have grown up without grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins...They can never get that time back.