We moved to Australia in May after my OH went in Jan 07,at first we were fine then homesickness kicked in,my self and my 15 year old son so wanted to go home.I finally sent him home at the end of October and it broke my heart,but i knew i would follow him shortly as i didn,t want to stay either.Then something strange happened around December ,i don,t know what but i started to dread going home i was looking forward to seeing everyone but i didn,t want to go back to the UK.I thought that it was just the thought of travelling alone with our 2 year old daughter and the fact that my OH was staying put.I landed in Manchester on the 21st January and i knew i,d made a mistake.The plan was that i would stay here till our son completes his a,levels and goes off to Uni i would then sell our property and move back to Australia.I don,t want to be here that long i want to go back now.I,ve tried talking to my son to return with me after his GCSE,s do year 12 then have a gap year in Aus before deciding on Uni either in Uk or Australia no such luck.So now i blame myself i should probably of never let him go home.It,s due to circumstances that i can,t go into detail but he has no one to live with i returned sooner rather than later so my life is down to a 16 year olds decision.Can i make him come back with me at 16 or by law could he choose to stay?

No idea.

But irrespective of whether you can or cannot, it would be a Very Bad Idea.

IMHO, of course...

You say he will have no-one to stay with if you return to Australia without him. Who did he stay with when you sent him home in October? Could he not stay there until uni then get student lodgings?

As i said things are complicated.My son was staying with my sister and her son in Our house, my sister was renting it from us.We have had problems with her not paying the rent or not wanting too she was claiming £130 a week in benefits tax credits ect child benefit for him ,but my parents and myself were having to top up his phone, my dad even had too give him deodrant and money for haircuts ,as she never gave him any money,bearing in mind that her own son who has just turned 18 has done and still does nothing since he left school nearly 2 years ago.We nicknamed him cinderfella he had to do all his own washing, ironing ect and basically be self sufficient.My sister has just been declared bankrupt and will be staying with us until she finds somewhere else she cannot afford to pay private rental rates even though she works she needs council property.There was also the problem with the fact that my nephew is a bad influence on my son with regards to alchol and as my sister was at work ever night till 11 did not know what they were doing.

My mum and dad live in one bedroom bungalow so no there is nowhere that he could stay.

While I feel your pain, I'm with Elvira. You dragged this boy halfway across the world once and then sent him home with the (implicit) promise of staying there. Now, because you have changed your mind, you want to "make" him go back again?

Normally, I'd say parents know better than children and should have the final decision. In this case, though, I think you have to be the grown up and make a commitment to your son. Go back to Australia after he returns to college.

[By the way, I've ping-ponged twice, so I know what you are going through. I just think you have to make a sacrifice for your son. He will thank you for it in the long run. If you make him go back, he may resent you for a long time ...]

I really think you are right here dunroving. It's so difficult emigrating with older teenagers and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I truly feel for anyone going through this right now.

Our daughter came back to the UK alone. After our return home, I discovered the true depths of the pain my daughter went through during her year here without us (she was 17). Bless her she had tried to hide it all from us because she knew it was our dream. I wouldn't wish that pain on any other child.

No country, no matter how wonderful, is more important than your child.

It sounds like you would be doing your son a massive favor just by getting him away from what he is having to see in his own home. I personally could never like that and I would never subject my daughter to that kind of influence either.
What is it that he really misses about home? Have you tried to find out?

No, you can't make him come back to OZ with you. By law he has the right to stay in UK.

How do i know this???? because i had exactly the same problem with my 16 year old daughter who came back to UK and wouldn't come back to OZ with us. We had legal advice while we were there and the law is on their side. By no means can anyone be dragged onto a plane if they don't want to, no matter how old they are!
You say your parents live in a one bedroomed house. So do my parents, but they still made room for their grand-daughter.
Don't make your son feel guilty just because you want to go back to OZ. The biggest mistake you will make is demanding he goes back with you.
I left my daughter in UK and went back to OZ. Best thing i ever did. She is very happy instead of miserable.

this all sounds so sad.....
good luck to you

Nu-Shooz - what's happened? I've just noticed your location. Was it an awfully big goose that stole you away? Hope you're suitably recovered

lol....yeah, you could say i goosed up on my location

I'm on my way to recovery...August

I don't think you should try to pressure him into going back either. We came back so our son could go to college and have a life, which he didn't in Spain. Some people say we're mad and that he could fend for himself, but why should he, we took him to Spain when he was 12 and he never really settled, so I think we owe it to him to give him the best chance we can now. Maybe we'll rethink when he's finished college

My husband's parents lived overseas and brought him back 'home' when he was 15. He went from being a grade a student top of his class to barely getting his GCSEs, and leaving school at 16. Then he sat around waiting til he was able to get the dole and a council house. Being back home meant being around all his benefit cheating family and underage drinking cousins and the old 'why work when you can get someone else to pay for it all' attitude rubbed off pretty quickly.

Luckily he had a brainwave one day around the age of 20 and realised there was more to life than spending your dole cheque on supernoodles and cider and decided to get himself a job. 10 years later and his life is more than he ever could have dreamed. If his parents had kept him away from his family at 15 he could have done even better.

You should really consider whether you are doing what is really best for your son in the long run.

i think the major problem u have at the moment is the property u have and your sister living in it and not paying.
What happens to the property if u go back and leave ur sister in it without paying, can u afford her freeloading off u.

Obviously she has pocketed enough money off your son living with her and not for his benefit but her own. I think if u sort out that problem then deal with your own son afterwards.