what did you expect????
 

Hi All

Only been in Perth for nearly 3 months and already know in deep down that i will go HOME, one day

What is it I/We expected that we dont like.

I actually think the place is beautifull, theres lots to do when it's not raining but I just dont know what it was that I expected.

We've answered the negatives Q's about the Uk and yes it has problems but they actually never effected us.

Answers please

Re: what did you expect????
 

Some places just don't feel like home, Perth obviously doesn't to you. Some people are just too British to live overseas, some people don't like change and struggle to settle. Enjoy what you do like and make plans to return, it gets harder the longer you are here.

Re: what did you expect????
 

I don't think it's because people are too British to live overseas. Australia may not be some people, but they may love living in a different place overseas.

Re: what did you expect????
 

I did say SOME people. I certainly wouldn't generalise like that ;)

Re: what did you expect????
 

Is it family that you miss, or friends? That would be an obvious and very very good reason.

Re: what did you expect????
 

I would have thought being too British meant you slag off Britain at every opportunity thus making you more likely to settle in Oz :rofl:

Re: what did you expect????
 

Its like migration, some day you will always return to the place you where born, its natural more so as you get older and looking towards retirement.

B.

Re: what did you expect????
 

Well as I have never slagged off Britain I wouldn't know :D

Re: what did you expect????
 

I think a big mistake we all tend to make is to think that a beautiful place is the best place to live. If that was the way it worked, there'd be a whole lot of places with no one living there!

Beautiful surrounding are great to have,but it's people that matter, I think. Not just family and friends, but the sort of people we meet in the shops, on the street, work with etc. People are different in different parts of the world.

I think the fact that various countries all speak English blinds us to the deep differences in the way people think and act.

Bev

Re: what did you expect????
 

Although my OH and I only in early 40's one thing we have realised after being here in Perth is that we couldn't grow old here. It's just not the place for us and our family to live and grow up in.

I think home is where the heart is as they say and it's not where you want to live but where you want to die too.

We are returning to the UK for good in 8 weeks and are 100% all happy about this.

Re: what did you expect????
 

That's a very good point, although in all honesty I'm not really sure that I prefer the way people are in general in UK compared to here.

To be honest, the only place I have been where I have really noticed a very obvious difference is in the Philippines, where the people are genuinely very much more friendly than either here or UK.

For lots of reasons though, I wouldn't want to live there.

Re: what did you expect????
 

Sometimes it can be very hard to define that certain 'quality' about a place that makes it feel like home. You could easily live in a beautiful place and yet it still does not feel likes its a part of you. It's a bit like a pretty pair of high heeled shoes, they might look good but they don't feel entirely comfortable on your feet like your favourite pair of slippers, you have to squash you feet a bit to get the best fit you can, but they don't feel right.....

Re: what did you expect????
 

OP it's good that you can make that decision calmly, some people end up broken emotionally and financially by the decision.

After 11 years here I am well established, so I choose to return as I would rather live in Britain (despite my misgivings about plumbing and fencing...).

But I didn't come for a better life, I married an Australian, so I didn't have that high an expectation of Aus.

Re: what did you expect????
 

Good point about what you say about where you want to die, There are so many nice things here and I could probably make myself love it, but I know my husband wont.

i also know he wont change his mind, this was all my idea in the first place and it's no good only 1 person being happy .

So dont know when yet but we will return but i'll just enjoy the summer for now

Re: what did you expect????
 

You might find that you enjoy it more now the nice weather is coming. We moved from Adelaide at the start of a Perth winter and I suffered greatly. The constant rain really can be very depressing, can't it?

There's a meetup in King's Park next weekend. Why not come out and meet some other people, have a nice day in the park and forget just enjoy yourselves? Take a look in the meet up section of the Australia forum for the King's Park meet thread for details.

And as was previously said, congratulations on making a decision that you both can live with. Sometimes one partner is unhappy and the other happy, which makes things all the more difficult.

Re: what did you expect????
 

i was exactly like you,after 3mnths i knew i did'nt want to live or die in perth.
i can't put my finger on exactly why this was but the feeling did'nt go away after a few years.:unsure:
i loved the uk before i left,the countryside,the people,culture ,tv, shops and a whole lot more,but after my time in perth i found that i was longing to return and i had this image of the uk that was so much greater than when i left {rose tinted glasses}
i toyed with the idea of moving to brisbane but in the end moved back to the uk which, i had,in my mind, built up so much.
i plan to give brisbane a go in the next few years and hopefully this will answer my question as to whether australia is for me or not.
think about trying somewhere else in australia rather than coming straight home like i did,it'll save you alot of money and heartache.
ultimately australia is not for everyone,some people just don't like it ,or cannot make the transition,this is not a problem,what is important is that you're happy with your choices and that you can look forward to the future.
good luck with whatever decision you come to.:)

Re: what did you expect????
 

Oh i so agree with that Bevm....That was so true for us on VI. The problem is we can not know until we try a place......:)

Re: what did you expect????
 

If I'm REALLY,REALLY honest with myself, I knew moving to Oz wasn't the right thing for us while we were going through the visa process. So, as early as that!
It's hard to get off once your on - don't you think?
Then I'd say within about 2-3 months after arriving in Oz all sorts of stuff went on and I knew we just weren't meant to settle here.Nothing was easy - like obstacles in our way every time.

Now - 20months later we ARE going back in Feb next year!! Finally all booked.
The weird thing is that once I'd made the decision to move back, I started having doubts and wondering about how I could actually make things work out here!
It's a rollercoaster of emotions that's for sure. Confusing and difficult to know what's for the best but I'm sure we're doing the right thing by returning, and already things have fallen into place easier over there for us than it ever did here.

I'd say it DOES take around 2 -3 years to really settle into Oz and feel comfortable with the new life.
BUT - gotta say I trust those instincts every time!!


*pearly*

Re: what did you expect????
 

I remember meeting an English guy in Adelaide who said it took them at least five years to settle. 25 years later their kids are grown up & they'll never go back. But I, like many of you, have never felt quite right here - even after ten years. Part of the problem is that in the UK, Australia is seen as this shiny utopia where life is sweet all the time. It isn't. Most of the time it's harder, we 'Poms' are somewhat ostracized and derided - which for me makes feeling at 'one' with my surroundings and people impossible. It's funny coz I never disliked Australians before I came here ... I feel very differently now! We are always on the verge of going home to London, then we read an English newspaper and the reasons we left are there in print. I do hope to go home one day though - I still love England - just can't shake it off.

Re: what did you expect????
 

I tried to describe it to a friend once, and told him to imagine being on a train pulling out of the station....then realising your on the wrong one... the longer you hesitate the faster it gets, until you have no choice but to go along for the ride, get off at the next stop, and buy a single ticket back to where you came from.

Pete

Re: what did you expect????
 

Pete,
Meant to PM you.We're goin back!! Decided to bite the bullet and return even tho hubbie's not got a job to go back to. It'll work itself out. Have managed to already secure first fortnight of accomodation even tho we have a dog. Will then aim to rent short term until we buy a place which will hopefully happen quickly-ish.
Flights booked for Feb 2nd - the day after the tennis finals which is only reason we're stayin on till then! Not a bad way to go out, eh?

I like your analogy of the train! Sounds all too familiar!

*pearly*

Re: what did you expect????
 

I'll agree with that :) That's exactly how I felt!

Re: what did you expect????
 

Please take it from me. YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING!
No 2 ways about it!
You will not find everything is wonderful in UK, but then you only left there not that long ago so you know that, but you will be home, and that's what matters most..
By staying here longer, things only get harder because you can become sort of attached to things here to some extent, but it often doesn't make you any less homesick so the decision becomes virtually impossible., I should know!

I was only 14 when I first came from Manchester to Adelaide, and I knew it was the wrong thing as soon as I finished saying goodbye to my relatives in Manchester airport and turned to board the plane!

At that moment, I had that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach for the very first time. The one that tells you loud and clear "What are you doing? Stay where you are. It's your home!"

I so desperately wanted to tell my parents this and I think I did try to when we got on the plane, but they just told me it was "normal to be a bit nervous" and we were going on a big adventure and it would be fun.

Well here I am 20 years later and I still have that feeling in the pit of my stomach and am still as homesick as ever.

It has been an adventure and some of it has been fun, but I am missing UK so much and the decision to move back is so hard it's almost killing me trying to decide.

I know now that whatever I do, I will never again have all my family living in the same country as me, and that alone makes it impossible to know what to do.

Anyway hopefully in your case, by going back now, you'll avoid most of that.

Re: what did you expect????
 

Hi Backagain

your story sounds similar to mine. I moved to Aussie when I was 15 in 1973 with my Family, hated the place so much and missed everything about UK. Moved back a few times but struggled to make it in the UK until I moved back in 1988, and have never looked back since. I am married with 2 kids and first grandson on the way but my mum, brother and sister still live in Perth. My mum has moved back to the UK more times than I can remember but always struggles to manage financially and ends up back in aus.I miss my family but would never live down under again, only been back once since we came back. I am a Manchester lad but have now lived on the Isle of Man for the past 7 years.

I real hope everything works out for you, if you want any info or help just let me know.

Re: what did you expect????
 

This reminds me of an experience taking a train in England a while back. As it pulled out of the station an announcer said, "You are on the train to xxxx, stopping at xxxx, xxx etc.) I sat there thinking what a stupid time to tell me. If I'm on the wrong train, what am I supposed to do????

Do they still do that? Haven't taken a train in ages.

Bev