Are we making a mistake moving back?
Jun 2nd 2009, 11:20 am
#46
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 55
Re: Are we making a mistake moving back?
The problem with the title being 'Are we making a mistake moving back' is in itself a probem, being on an open forum, the answer to that is that no one knows.
When we moved to Auz in 2005, my husband and i never felt happy, despite getting good jobs, social networking and gaining citizenship etc. In 2008 myself, husband and children aged 11, and 18 made an unanimous decision to return to the UK. We returned from a hot australian summer day, typically 35 degree to typically winter UK weather, being a cold minus degree winter's day. How we were happy to be 'home'. We were back where we needed to be and near family and friends. We were advised before returning to expect friends and family to have moved on etc, but didnt think this would relate to us as we had been in close contact since moving to oz in 2005.
It was the right thing for us as a family. My husband is proud to be British and wanted to be near his family and live a British lifestyle. My oldest son was nearing to start uni and wanted to go to a UK university and I wanted my youngest to have a uk state school education. I am a firm believer in the UK education system, being a teacher myself, and having studied at uni in both Auz and the UK, believed the UK is better for this.
My oldest son is now one year through uni and very happy and youngest is at a boys grammar school, loving it. We both managed to get good jobs and bought a house locally. We are loving being home and living the English lifestyle. However.....
Since returning we have had to work hard at getting our social network back together.... our friends have move on, like us, in a sense. We dont socialise with the people we did before, in fact WE have individuals HAVE changed. We dont have the same things in common with the friends we have left behind, and I do find them quite boring and narrow minded. My oldest son says exactly the same, my youngest being 13 does not and loves it here. As for family, well we still dont see them very often although more so that when we lived in Oz. We never had a huge family input before leaving, so that hasnt changed much.
All in all, i love it here, right now..... but like the curse of the expat dont know whether i will want to move away again. Ive got itchy feet now. I would never sell my home in England, I would always rent it out, but feel that I would like to give another country a try when my 13 year old has left school with A'levels.
The old saying, the grass is always greener is true. The UK, like any country does have its problems, but its a great place to live if you are British. We dont have much family to support us and both have to work full time, but i love the britsh sense of humor and conversation. i love the schooling, the tv, the choices here and the way of life. I could live here for ever had not it been for the fact that i have experienced a different way of life and as a result am a bit 'different' from most uk born and bread, who have never moved away. Finding friends who have experienced similar to us in this part of the UK is very difficult. Although I am and always will be a Yorkshire lass, however, because of my profession I have mixed with a variety of personnell from top surgeons to lawyers and other professionals.
I guess what I am saying is the more you experience and travel, the harder it is to find someone with something in common, and therefore harder to make conversation with. I guess anyone from toddler to young adult will have the same experiences, and its worth acknowleging it.
My 19 year old thinks we will move away again, he wants to travel again and wants to live in NZ or Aus in the future for a while. My youngest loves the UK and said he will never leave. Us......well like i said i love it here....i am thininking we would like to work abroad again when my youngest has left school perhaps NZ, or a different part of OZ, but, I would never sell my home here, I would rent it out. I would always want to have a home here, its were my heart is.
Why have I written this? I hope my thoughts will help others, who are thinkingabout the iffs and buts... its a true recollection of my experiences, and an honest opinion. Good luck in what you decide, but the decison is, yours... no one knows if its a mistake.. you have to take that chance.
When we moved to Auz in 2005, my husband and i never felt happy, despite getting good jobs, social networking and gaining citizenship etc. In 2008 myself, husband and children aged 11, and 18 made an unanimous decision to return to the UK. We returned from a hot australian summer day, typically 35 degree to typically winter UK weather, being a cold minus degree winter's day. How we were happy to be 'home'. We were back where we needed to be and near family and friends. We were advised before returning to expect friends and family to have moved on etc, but didnt think this would relate to us as we had been in close contact since moving to oz in 2005.
It was the right thing for us as a family. My husband is proud to be British and wanted to be near his family and live a British lifestyle. My oldest son was nearing to start uni and wanted to go to a UK university and I wanted my youngest to have a uk state school education. I am a firm believer in the UK education system, being a teacher myself, and having studied at uni in both Auz and the UK, believed the UK is better for this.
My oldest son is now one year through uni and very happy and youngest is at a boys grammar school, loving it. We both managed to get good jobs and bought a house locally. We are loving being home and living the English lifestyle. However.....
Since returning we have had to work hard at getting our social network back together.... our friends have move on, like us, in a sense. We dont socialise with the people we did before, in fact WE have individuals HAVE changed. We dont have the same things in common with the friends we have left behind, and I do find them quite boring and narrow minded. My oldest son says exactly the same, my youngest being 13 does not and loves it here. As for family, well we still dont see them very often although more so that when we lived in Oz. We never had a huge family input before leaving, so that hasnt changed much.
All in all, i love it here, right now..... but like the curse of the expat dont know whether i will want to move away again. Ive got itchy feet now. I would never sell my home in England, I would always rent it out, but feel that I would like to give another country a try when my 13 year old has left school with A'levels.
The old saying, the grass is always greener is true. The UK, like any country does have its problems, but its a great place to live if you are British. We dont have much family to support us and both have to work full time, but i love the britsh sense of humor and conversation. i love the schooling, the tv, the choices here and the way of life. I could live here for ever had not it been for the fact that i have experienced a different way of life and as a result am a bit 'different' from most uk born and bread, who have never moved away. Finding friends who have experienced similar to us in this part of the UK is very difficult. Although I am and always will be a Yorkshire lass, however, because of my profession I have mixed with a variety of personnell from top surgeons to lawyers and other professionals.
I guess what I am saying is the more you experience and travel, the harder it is to find someone with something in common, and therefore harder to make conversation with. I guess anyone from toddler to young adult will have the same experiences, and its worth acknowleging it.
My 19 year old thinks we will move away again, he wants to travel again and wants to live in NZ or Aus in the future for a while. My youngest loves the UK and said he will never leave. Us......well like i said i love it here....i am thininking we would like to work abroad again when my youngest has left school perhaps NZ, or a different part of OZ, but, I would never sell my home here, I would rent it out. I would always want to have a home here, its were my heart is.
Why have I written this? I hope my thoughts will help others, who are thinkingabout the iffs and buts... its a true recollection of my experiences, and an honest opinion. Good luck in what you decide, but the decison is, yours... no one knows if its a mistake.. you have to take that chance.
Jun 2nd 2009, 11:55 am
#47
Banned
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,769
Re: Are we making a mistake moving back?
The problem with the title being 'Are we making a mistake moving back' is in itself a probem, being on an open forum, the answer to that is that no one knows.
When we moved to Auz in 2005, my husband and i never felt happy, despite getting good jobs, social networking and gaining citizenship etc. In 2008 myself, husband and children aged 11, and 18 made an unanimous decision to return to the UK. We returned from a hot australian summer day, typically 35 degree to typically winter UK weather, being a cold minus degree winter's day. How we were happy to be 'home'. We were back where we needed to be and near family and friends. We were advised before returning to expect friends and family to have moved on etc, but didnt think this would relate to us as we had been in close contact since moving to oz in 2005.
It was the right thing for us as a family. My husband is proud to be British and wanted to be near his family and live a British lifestyle. My oldest son was nearing to start uni and wanted to go to a UK university and I wanted my youngest to have a uk state school education. I am a firm believer in the UK education system, being a teacher myself, and having studied at uni in both Auz and the UK, believed the UK is better for this.
My oldest son is now one year through uni and very happy and youngest is at a boys grammar school, loving it. We both managed to get good jobs and bought a house locally. We are loving being home and living the English lifestyle. However.....
Since returning we have had to work hard at getting our social network back together.... our friends have move on, like us, in a sense. We dont socialise with the people we did before, in fact WE have individuals HAVE changed. We dont have the same things in common with the friends we have left behind, and I do find them quite boring and narrow minded. My oldest son says exactly the same, my youngest being 13 does not and loves it here. As for family, well we still dont see them very often although more so that when we lived in Oz. We never had a huge family input before leaving, so that hasnt changed much.
All in all, i love it here, right now..... but like the curse of the expat dont know whether i will want to move away again. Ive got itchy feet now. I would never sell my home in England, I would always rent it out, but feel that I would like to give another country a try when my 13 year old has left school with A'levels.
The old saying, the grass is always greener is true. The UK, like any country does have its problems, but its a great place to live if you are British. We dont have much family to support us and both have to work full time, but i love the britsh sense of humor and conversation. i love the schooling, the tv, the choices here and the way of life. I could live here for ever had not it been for the fact that i have experienced a different way of life and as a result am a bit 'different' from most uk born and bread, who have never moved away. Finding friends who have experienced similar to us in this part of the UK is very difficult. Although I am and always will be a Yorkshire lass, however, because of my profession I have mixed with a variety of personnell from top surgeons to lawyers and other professionals.
I guess what I am saying is the more you experience and travel, the harder it is to find someone with something in common, and therefore harder to make conversation with. I guess anyone from toddler to young adult will have the same experiences, and its worth acknowleging it.
My 19 year old thinks we will move away again, he wants to travel again and wants to live in NZ or Aus in the future for a while. My youngest loves the UK and said he will never leave. Us......well like i said i love it here....i am thininking we would like to work abroad again when my youngest has left school perhaps NZ, or a different part of OZ, but, I would never sell my home here, I would rent it out. I would always want to have a home here, its were my heart is.
Why have I written this? I hope my thoughts will help others, who are thinkingabout the iffs and buts... its a true recollection of my experiences, and an honest opinion. Good luck in what you decide, but the decison is, yours... no one knows if its a mistake.. you have to take that chance.
When we moved to Auz in 2005, my husband and i never felt happy, despite getting good jobs, social networking and gaining citizenship etc. In 2008 myself, husband and children aged 11, and 18 made an unanimous decision to return to the UK. We returned from a hot australian summer day, typically 35 degree to typically winter UK weather, being a cold minus degree winter's day. How we were happy to be 'home'. We were back where we needed to be and near family and friends. We were advised before returning to expect friends and family to have moved on etc, but didnt think this would relate to us as we had been in close contact since moving to oz in 2005.
It was the right thing for us as a family. My husband is proud to be British and wanted to be near his family and live a British lifestyle. My oldest son was nearing to start uni and wanted to go to a UK university and I wanted my youngest to have a uk state school education. I am a firm believer in the UK education system, being a teacher myself, and having studied at uni in both Auz and the UK, believed the UK is better for this.
My oldest son is now one year through uni and very happy and youngest is at a boys grammar school, loving it. We both managed to get good jobs and bought a house locally. We are loving being home and living the English lifestyle. However.....
Since returning we have had to work hard at getting our social network back together.... our friends have move on, like us, in a sense. We dont socialise with the people we did before, in fact WE have individuals HAVE changed. We dont have the same things in common with the friends we have left behind, and I do find them quite boring and narrow minded. My oldest son says exactly the same, my youngest being 13 does not and loves it here. As for family, well we still dont see them very often although more so that when we lived in Oz. We never had a huge family input before leaving, so that hasnt changed much.
All in all, i love it here, right now..... but like the curse of the expat dont know whether i will want to move away again. Ive got itchy feet now. I would never sell my home in England, I would always rent it out, but feel that I would like to give another country a try when my 13 year old has left school with A'levels.
The old saying, the grass is always greener is true. The UK, like any country does have its problems, but its a great place to live if you are British. We dont have much family to support us and both have to work full time, but i love the britsh sense of humor and conversation. i love the schooling, the tv, the choices here and the way of life. I could live here for ever had not it been for the fact that i have experienced a different way of life and as a result am a bit 'different' from most uk born and bread, who have never moved away. Finding friends who have experienced similar to us in this part of the UK is very difficult. Although I am and always will be a Yorkshire lass, however, because of my profession I have mixed with a variety of personnell from top surgeons to lawyers and other professionals.
I guess what I am saying is the more you experience and travel, the harder it is to find someone with something in common, and therefore harder to make conversation with. I guess anyone from toddler to young adult will have the same experiences, and its worth acknowleging it.
My 19 year old thinks we will move away again, he wants to travel again and wants to live in NZ or Aus in the future for a while. My youngest loves the UK and said he will never leave. Us......well like i said i love it here....i am thininking we would like to work abroad again when my youngest has left school perhaps NZ, or a different part of OZ, but, I would never sell my home here, I would rent it out. I would always want to have a home here, its were my heart is.
Why have I written this? I hope my thoughts will help others, who are thinkingabout the iffs and buts... its a true recollection of my experiences, and an honest opinion. Good luck in what you decide, but the decison is, yours... no one knows if its a mistake.. you have to take that chance.
Nice post Debs.
For the record, I find it's harder and harder to meet inspired, like minded people who share my sense of optimism and wry sense of fun. This is on both sides of the world. I worked it out though, I realised I was perhaps far too tolerant of being leaned on therefore a lot of my friends usually needed me when they wanted some help sorting out a problem. Of course I never minded but it meant I felt like a fairy Godmother all the time. Sub consciously I must have gravitated towards this role of course.
Anyway, today, as I head back to England in approx 8 weeks time, I am nervous of getting bogged down by the same old small mind, small world mentality of friends I used to have.
Listening to them, it sounds like they still have the same old problems because they still have the same old frame of mind. Wasn't it Einstein who said the definition of madness was doing the same thing many times over but still getting the same result?
Anyway, at least I've recognised a few tendencies in myself which should steer me towards more enlightened, happier people who are on my
wavelength. I love my work, I'm a designer and I have a business in fashion and home design so I meet a lot of lovely people who all have their own stories to tell.
I'm not sure if I need close friends anymore or family. I think just being fulfilled in my own life meets pretty much all my needs.
Life in Australia for the last 51/2 years has made me very self sufficient because they seem not to need friends here in the same way that people in England do.
I'm looking forward to returning home but sometimes, like you, I know I have to work hard at creating the life I want rather than moulding it to fit in with others or a particular set of surroundings which in some ways is how we're all brought up to believe is how we're supposed to live. At least I've learned that life is much bigger than the piece of turf we're stood on and we can swap it for another piece any time we want.
Rambling on now so off to start my day.
Jun 2nd 2009, 6:25 pm
#48
Just Joined
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 8
Re: Are we making a mistake moving back?
Hi Ian,
Yeah no drama mate, it's been good to read all the different perspectives and how others have been, or still are in, the same situation.
We're all set to go now, everything's in place the UK end except for a job. Fingers crossed I get something soonish, or even before I return.
I wish yourself and everyone else who's contributed all the best for the future.
Dave
Yeah no drama mate, it's been good to read all the different perspectives and how others have been, or still are in, the same situation.
We're all set to go now, everything's in place the UK end except for a job. Fingers crossed I get something soonish, or even before I return.
I wish yourself and everyone else who's contributed all the best for the future.
Dave
Keep in touch and let me know how you settle in etc. Id be interested.
Regards,
Ian
