Originally Posted by ezzie (Post 7600310)

I don't think I've ever read a thread which I've found to bear such relevence to me. Been here 23 years, have older teens (Yr 11) and although we're incredibly comfortable here in Sydney, it's like life is always lacking and emotionally empty. If I draw up a list of pros and cons...well, we'd be potty to return. But when I'm back in England I feel alive, I just love the banter in the street, how people will chat and engage with you. It's friendly here...but you'll mostly only get a polite nod and smile before they scoot off away from the nutter who tried to talk to them at 90 mph! I must admit there's some glorious exceptions though, but the UK always seems to offer a richness I don't find here....although it's hard to really judge without wearing a 'holiday hat' when on trips back to the UK.

So....we want to go back. But we've no supportive parents there (they're awful!). My parents are here in Oz....they came over to be with the grandkids, which is why I didn't go back sooner. So you can see the mess we're in as they'd never go back (couldn't afford it now, have their friends here and the cold would kill them). So a right pickle....

It's hard looking for work in the UK - looks like a pretty huge drop in pay for both of us, but I keep thinking of those green fields and trying not to think of the sink estates. The thing that most worries me is finding a school for the kids and how they'll cope with the rougher elements of the UK.

Thank you everyone contributing on this thread, brilliant to know we're not alone in our plight.

Originally Posted by JustBecause (Post 7598578)

We are in a v similar position to the OP: me at home with a 1yr old & thinking of having another child soon but DP has got a good job out here being the major difference. We have been here 18mths & are pretty sure we will be going back in about 6mths time.

I think it is the point about kiddies growing up with grandparents that is the killer. There is no substitute to having your own family around, assuming you get on with them!, for you or the kids. We've only had four nights out since our son was born and no time out during the day just by ourselves without the baby which is really getting us down. SUre, we could pay for childcare & to a certain extent it would be similar back in the UK but at least some of the times we could have family to look after the baby & everyone's a winner. There is no point in us being in this country (which has some pretty amazing plus points) when we can't go out to do things or see things here because we are tied down always being with a baby or young children. Yes, it is great doing things with our son but not 100% of the time all the time when you know you can't ever have just one afternoon off.

It is better here for very young kids though I think. Mainly the ability to go out in reasonable weather most of the time, great playparks, child friendly cafes, etc But I don't think I can face having a second child without grandparents around for practical reasons (my sanity!), for the sake of the grandparents as on my side I am the only child producing the only grandchildren & of course for the kids.

Funny thing at the moment is I am missing going out in the rain with my son so have just ordered a rain suit for him from the UK. I think we will be the only people out when it is raining tho! as all the mums from my mums' group think it is too cold to go out with their children if it is not over 24C! I actually met someone who told me her 7yr old had not felt rain on his skin until they went on holiday overseas as they always stayed indoors here when it rained. Weird! I have promised I will not moan about the weather when back in the UK. I am sure it will happen but is there any comparison between having good weather & family? You'd be heartless to chose the weather over family surely.

Originally Posted by katana (Post 7604795)

We're in the same boat.We have been in France for the last 6 years & have just had a 2nd TRA accepted after 18 months.We had given up hope of getting it passed & have put our house on the market as work has dried up here with the intension of going back to the UK.We are now lost as what to do next.After being here 6 years we have another child & the school here is great.We have some lovely friends but we also have family in the UK,including grown up children & elderly parents who the young ones have missed growing up with.
So where do we go now? Back to the UK where we know we can get work as hubby has been offered 3 jobs already,he's a mechanic, or do we try OZ & not regret never going.Although with time we have realised there are more pros for staying in the UK than we realised 18 months ago.
Time & uncertainty makes you think harder.
Our children are 3, 6 & 14 & if we go back now our daughter will be able to finish the last 2 years & get her GCSE s.If we apply for OZ I think her education will be ruined.The oldest 2 are both fluent in french & english.
Any advice would be good.By the way we would be going to Adelaide if we decide to try OZ.:confused::eek:

Originally Posted by DonnyWhite (Post 7594138)

Hi Dave,
This is my first post and thanks for making it easier for me to start. I too am in a similar position to you and am PETRIFIED to make the wrong decision. My wife and I have been here 18 years and for most of the last 10 years I have been desperately homesick. Eventually my long suffering wife (Ruth) has decided we can go and take our proudly Australian Sons with us. You think I'd be happy right? Wrong!

I'm nervous.

We have little money (but both got good job prospects) and yet Ruth wants to keep the house on and rent it out. And I just want to go back and would willingly live in a hovel. But The Kids!!! I worry that I can not make their lives as free and as easy as they are here, and I am in some way punishing them.

I come from a very downtrodden part of Yorkshire and yet it is still home.. The land I love and yearn for.

Regards,
Ian

Originally Posted by DonnyWhite (Post 7594138)

Hi Dave,
This is my first post and thanks for making it easier for me to start. I too am in a similar position to you and am PETRIFIED to make the wrong decision. My wife and I have been here 18 years and for most of the last 10 years I have been desperately homesick. Eventually my long suffering wife (Ruth) has decided we can go and take our proudly Australian Sons with us. You think I'd be happy right? Wrong!

I'm nervous.

We have little money (but both got good job prospects) and yet Ruth wants to keep the house on and rent it out. And I just want to go back and would willingly live in a hovel. But The Kids!!! I worry that I can not make their lives as free and as easy as they are here, and I am in some way punishing them.

I come from a very downtrodden part of Yorkshire and yet it is still home.. The land I love and yearn for.

Regards,
Ian

Originally Posted by dave7370 (Post 7593735)

I've been delaying putting a thread up for a while, mainly due to the fact I just didn't know what to say, so here goes.

Everything is arranged for us to move back to England in about 6 weeks time, but I can't help thinking it's a massive mistake.

How things were:
The decision to move back however was taken before I was laid-off, as great as life was here, it was also pretty lonely. I was at work during the week and my wife was essentially left to her own devices with our toddler. We did know people but either found we had little in common which makes conversation difficult, or they were just annoying and didn't want to see them anyway. We had family coming to see us, but knew once they had left we'd have no idea when we'd see them again, thus being back to feeling lonely. My wife was finding life without her friends from the UK hard and when another baby was on the cards, being without her mom just made it harder. So, after much deliberation, endless discussion and weighing up the financial side of things we booked flights and shipping.

What's happened since:
We've met some great people and actually have a social life. We've explored a lot more around the area where we live and spent some quality time together as a family. Currently, I'm out of work and have been for nearly 3 months now, and as nice as the time off is (especially with a new baby), it doesn't pay the bills. I have been applying for every job I'm qualified for and more and just getting nowhere, which has now got me to this point whereby I've just stopped.
I'm waiting to hear on a job in England at the moment with a company I used to deal with through my old job, it's looking promising and we'd be back in the area we used to live in which is a bonus.

So what now?
We're caught in a Catch 22:
The things we love about here we're not fond of in the UK and visa versa.
We've made some great friends, but also have long term great friends back in the UK.
We like the climate in Oz, but never hated the UK climate either.
My wife and I were heavily involved with our g'parents and want the same for our kids.
I have more chance of getting work in the UK, but would probably find work eventually here.

I guess I'm just confused as what is best for us, there's pro's and con's to living in both country's and ultimately I just don't want to fail my family. I am looking forward to a lot of things back in Blighty but after the initial excitment of that wears off, what then?


(My apologies if this is just a rambling mess, I think it made more sense in my head)

Originally Posted by wardy2 (Post 7601031)

Our situation is a little different I guess, but it looks like we are returning. :( from beautiful cairns, australia.

due to someone at the plumbers board in Brisbane not knowing their job, my husband has been left unable to get licenses to work. we arrived in january ready to start our new life and since then we have been stuck in a hamster wheel of incompetence and beaurocracy since, which has seen ourr finances dwindle to the point that if we dont go now we will be financially ruined :eek:

Our sons love it here and really dont want to return, but after reading this thread I wonder whether fate has intervened and is sending us back to the UK and our friends and family.

My children often talk about little things they miss like calling their nanna curly, dropping their bikes off there on the way to school for their grandad to clean them lol and picking them up after school and having a cup of tea and a nap, you cant really replace that can you :wub: for me its standing watching the kids play football with my mates on a beautiful Autumn sunday morning or wrapping up warm on bonfire night.

I also miss my eldest son dreadfully, he didnt come with us. He was 20 on saturday and I rang him to wish him happy birthday and this strong independant man cried his heart out like a baby as he was missing us all so much of course my heart aches everyday for him.

I guess what I am saying or asking is..... is what Australia has to offer worth losing all the little things for, all the things that make me smile when I think about them.

Are we making a mistake moving back?... It looks like we are about to find out :eek:

Originally Posted by DonnyWhite (Post 7594138)

Hi Dave,
This is my first post and thanks for making it easier for me to start. I too am in a similar position to you and am PETRIFIED to make the wrong decision. My wife and I have been here 18 years and for most of the last 10 years I have been desperately homesick. Eventually my long suffering wife (Ruth) has decided we can go and take our proudly Australian Sons with us. You think I'd be happy right? Wrong!

I'm nervous.

We have little money (but both got good job prospects) and yet Ruth wants to keep the house on and rent it out. And I just want to go back and would willingly live in a hovel. But The Kids!!! I worry that I can not make their lives as free and as easy as they are here, and I am in some way punishing them.

I come from a very downtrodden part of Yorkshire and yet it is still home.. The land I love and yearn for.

Regards,
Ian

Originally Posted by DonnyWhite (Post 7625302)

I must apologise, it appears that I have hijacked this thread by dave7370. Sorry Dave:unsure: Hopefully we both got something from your initial question.

Anyway guys and girls we have decided we are going to "risk-it for a swisskit"
I will return in May next year with Ruth & the boys to follow at the end of the school term, ready for the new school term in Sept.
Gives me chance to get a job and accomodation etc.

I feel I have found some like-minded people on here after suffering in silence for nearly a decade (been here 19, first 9 were great).

I will watch this board daily from now on, some great info on here.

Thanks again,
Ian:D

Originally Posted by clairemoir (Post 7623547)

I came back from Oz 2 months ago with no job, no where to live and a hubby who really enjoyed Oz but hated seeing me so unhappy! I always felt like i didn't fit in and it just wasn't home! I am now happily back home, we rented a place, both got jobs; not the best jobs in the world but I have never been happier!
We do live in Devon which is a great place but I have never appreciated the beaches, the open places, the friendly people so much!

We might not be able to afford to eat out as much or buy as many new clothes as we could in Melbourne but i feel like a huge weight has gone and even though we are in a financial hole - who cares - we are home!

Originally Posted by mabozar (Post 7626256)

But will your hubby be happy long term? It's not really his wish after all just yours?

Carol