Uncle Ebenezer

... by people not clever enough to use it, or defend themselves against it.

materialcontroller

Being able to learn about US immigration matters was what attracted me here. Passing on the benefit of my experience in order to help other people is what keeps me here.

Leslie

For me it was the plethora of free immigration advice, something that seems significant to this whole thread for some reason or another, not sure why.

materialcontroller

When people are coming here looking for help, they shouldn't have to "defend themselves" against anything. Treating them with with sarcasm isn't appropriate. On the other hand, use of sarcasm in general discussions or TIO would be considered de rigueur.

lansbury

If you don't like it you mistake me for someone who gives a toss, no sarcasm intended.

N1cky

Stay in the immigration section then?

To lots of people on here it isn't just an info site but somewhere where we make friends with people who have gone through a similar experience. Having a laugh and using sarcasm is all part of that and sometimes people pointing out the truth to us.

When I was feeling very down 3 years ago on here, someone had a bit of a go and their words really stuck. It made me realize that I was actually bringing alot of the stress and depression on myself and made me wake up to what I could do about it, I actually feel very grateful for that post, much more than the sympathy ones.

Karrie72

NO WHY SHOULD I?

God this is fun isn't it?

Sally Redux

Uncle Ebenezer

I was answering your claim regarding sarcasm, not anything the OP may have asked.

As far as the original question is concerned, the OP took a considered risk, in leaving behind a comfortable life, for adventure. Like any long-term gamble, the outcome depends on whether you have the balls to ride it out. If you don't, then don't make the gamble and stay safe and boring.

In my situation, I suppose it helped that I have no rose-coloured specs as far as the UK is concerned - I consider it a shit-hole I'm glad to be out of and have no desire to return to.

materialcontroller

I think you mis-read my post. I said "Passing on the benefit of my experience in order to help other people is what keeps me here". That isn't solely restricted to immigration matters.

Seal2012

le10-you are right, a forum might have been the wrong place for you to bring up those difficulties- but when you came to this board you were looking for people to share your feelings of being overwhelmed, the shock of your mother’s illness, and your feelings of wondering if you had made the right decisions along the way. If you look at the “Welcome email” to British Expats- the first line is “Thanks for registering at British Expats! We are glad you have chosen to be a part of our community and we hope you enjoy your stay.” You were looking to your “community” of peers to help you through a difficult time.

I can see that you actually did get a lot of people who picked up on the cues that you needed to talk, and they did the best they could to help you. le10- although no one could answer your questions the way things were phrased- intuitive board members could see that you didn’t really want answers- you just were listing all the problems that you have encountered. It doesn’t take a genius to see that you needed someone to listen to what you are going through. You came to a “community” for help and comradery. Nothing wrong with that.

I have had a lot of time in the past to read through old posts. (I actually joined the board a few years ago but when I wanted to post recently- my email had changed so I make a new account) I have to say that the majority of people on this board are polite and respectful, yet able to answer a poster’s question directly and share their knowledge with them the best that they can. They are the people to thank, to be recognized for their way of interacting with others on here. Oh I know- the minority will never change. They will tend to answer on the sarcastic side, feel it’s not their job to “candy coat” answers. They enjoy the attention they get when they are “brutally honest” and they have taken over the monumental task to make sure all new posters have read the wiki, searched the posts, and make sure the new poster has proven themselves worthy to have an answer granted.

From what I have seen the majority of people on this board are able to address things politely, are friendly, and welcoming to new people. They know and understand what social skills are, and they treat people with respect- no matter how far out the poster’s question might be. The negative people ***I think there is a misunderstanding when people call others “negative”. It doesn’t mean someone who answers a post with an answer that the poster might not want to hear- It means someone who answers a post in a sarcastic or demeaning way, or who will scoff and sigh when they hear a post that “they have heard a million times over again!*** won’t change- so it’s up to the majority to jump in on a post when they see it going south, they can message the new poster privately to answer questions as well as make them feel welcome to this board- because it is a community and that is the way you treat people in your own town and community. I would hope that the negative posters (roll your eyes!) don’t treat people in their town and community the way they treat new posters on this board. If they do treat people like that face to face- well… you fill in the blank!

le10- I hope things are better for you than they were when you originally posted!

materialcontroller

Well seeing as how we're playing your game here, and at the risk of sounding sarcastic, those of us left behind here in the UK probably consider that a blessing.

Sally Redux

We are certainly being punished in this thread.

Uncle Ebenezer

The feeling is entirely mutual - it's the people left behind there that colour my opinion of the place.

N1cky

Other than complaining about everyone else you never have any input other than in the immigration thread.