Waste of a chunk of your life
 

Anyone else feel like this.

By the time we leave OZ it will have been nearly a decade:eek: One sons now back to UK for a few years:thumbup:, support him fully and he can emigrate to Canada with his own skills anyway. Now were waiting for a visa to Canada :thumbsup: ( which could take up to 2 years ) unless a job offer comes up meanwhile.

However I feel like I have chucked a great chunk of my life down the dunny by spending so long here. Its a really weird feeling, as life here wasnt a disaster, far from it:huh: probably saw more of aus than most aussies ever would, moved at the right time, as in when it was cheap so it was no financial disaster. Had some beautiful homes, friends came and went many times, keep in touch with some, business did very well, kids had fun before the boredom set in...

Its more the emotional side, the way it did divide the family at times, the way it affected my parents, seen kids twice in all that time, my mother is very bitter. The wasted days here when we boiled in summers so hot you could barely get up let alone outside:lol: laugh now, I can remember huge chunks of mindumbing bordeom all round. Like another 12 hour drive just so we could see another beach like the one we just left:lol: . The weird feeling that most of the people we met here and kept in contact with were from OS, never got close to many aussies, just never clicked really, even the family:eek::lol: know hundreds, but close ones, so few!!

Maybe if it had been 2 years ( about when novelty wore off and I really thought cant live here for ever) I could say great experience. But how do those returning after much longer deal with the 'waste', R just jokes about it, says it could have been worse 30 years:rolleyes:

Re: Waste of a chunk of your life
 

It is pretty much how I feel. I was forced to waste so much of my young life, money and career in Canada. Now I can finally leave in my forties, things are just not falling into place employment wise back home, because I have been gone so long (nearly fourteen years). Its like the ultimate kick in the teeth.

Re: Waste of a chunk of your life
 

Funnily enough I only said this to Mrs Triboy last night. Now we are approaching the semi pointy end of leaving I said to her I felt like the last 8yrs or so have been wasted, as I listened to others (read my parents) too much about how 'good' I had it here, and to be honest I did so much traveling and living elsewhere it didn't play on my mind so much. But certainly after 2006 and coming back purely for my wife, I've felt like life has been on hold and did say to Mrs Triboy that I really feel like life will start again for me when I get back.

She's been totally supportive of me and I've been totally supportive of her and it's been brilliant fun making plans for Europe and beyond etc, sussing out which car to buy (Audi A3 looks favourite).

I did enjoy my first few years here, but I've never ever bought into the propoganda BS that gets thrown around so much. I look at things for what they are not what somebody else tells me they are. Thankfully my parents, despite reading the Daily Fail every day, do now understand what I've been through here and that the grass isn't greener. In fact they tell people why I'm coming back and tell them that reality is nothing like the myth (they've been here a lot). So chapeau to my parents.:D

I'm 44 and Mrs Triboy is, err less than that :rofl: So we can make up what we've lost in terms of our own lives (to a degree) but I do regret the time I've missed with my parents.

Re: Waste of a chunk of your life
 

Yes thats a big part of it here:( so far away, my kids grew up without their grandparents, you dont get that back, what do you say, never mind dear you had a swimming pool:rolleyes:

Re: Waste of a chunk of your life
 

We were prepared to take a huge step back to get out of OZ, yes you lose a lot of what you have built up and feel quite silly:huh: starting out again in the middle of your life.

Still its more challenging for the brain than sitting in some mindnumbing routine and ending up dribbling into your tea:lol:

Re: Waste of a chunk of your life
 

Yup, wasted pretty much the last 20 years although the last 10 have been the worst and I expect the next 10 will be close to unbearable. The first decade wasnt too bad I suppose. Boredom is crippling really - and no, making a choice not to be bored really doesnt help when you wake up each morning almost in tears and think OMG I am still here!

One good thing was that my parents came every year for half a year while the kids were growing up but the downside of that is now that their only great granddaughter is here and they arent really up to making the trip again. We have been back recently with the GGD and I think they are taking the separation from her even harder than they ever did with me and the kids - still very stoic compared with the borderline hysteria I see from others who are making the trip however.

I have every expectation that I will have grandkids on both sides of the world as well - that wont be easy either and there will come a time when I suppose I will physically be stuck here and unable to fly home (:fingerscrossed: that wont be for years yet though).

Re: Waste of a chunk of your life
 

Although I don't have kids, that comment about not having your grandparents around but at least you had a swimming pool, really brings home to you what is most important in life.

I am about to find out if I feel I have wasted a chunk of life in Australia as I am just about to do a 3 month recce in the UK on my own. I certainly feel as though I have spent 14 years of my life in some sort of strange limbo putting my husbands needs ahead of my own, hoping that with each new experience and opportunity (not that many I might add) that things would get better, that everything would start to click into place for me. But it has never really happened for me except on the most superficial level and who wants to live a life of superficiality???

There have been some good times though. I have travelled and seen a bit of Australia, have had some good friends and lovely social times. But just as I get settled, something comes along and pulls the rug from under me.
In the last year I have seen 3 other couples with whom we had good friendships all break up and with it an important part of our lives in Australia too.
Yes I know these things happen everywhere, but when you are in a different country and trying to hold it together, these things have a big impact.

Sorry if I have rambled a bit..... (I get on a plane tomorrow, with some mixed feelings), but I do truly empathize with how you all feel.

Re: Waste of a chunk of your life
 

It totally agree I have been here in Oz nearly 4 years moved states travelled all over with my children and enjoyed some aspects but the boredom is totally not something I could even imagine,I feel my life has stalled and I feel terrible for moving my children over here!My oh did want to try Canada but I just couldnt bear going through all this process again and feeling maybe again I have wasted another chunk of our lives,I will be returning to the Uk at the end of the year and we all will begin living again.:thumbsup:

Re: Waste of a chunk of your life
 

Having been back in UK for 3mths now, it has made me realise just how god damn bored i was in Aus! Since coming home i feel like a huge fog has lifted.
I feel as though i have rejoined planet earth lol :lol:
I dont regret leaving England, but i wish i had come back a lot sooner.
It is difficult to explain really, but it's kind of surreal in the sense i have been living in a lifeless bubble where i was separated from the world, and have now lept out into the sunshine..

Re: Waste of a chunk of your life
 

I am going the other way, in a year or two or three dependinging how long the visa takes. I don't as such enjoy reading these stories that make me feel sad, but I find them very valuable. A reality check.

I think more people should read them from the Australia threads, not to put them off, but just to take off the rose tinted spectacles and consider both sides of the equation and have more realistic expectations. I see so many people write about going for a "better life" or even more annoyingly "going to give their kids a better life", with no real indication that they know what that even means.

I have never felt like I am going to try a different life, but not a better life, the UK is hardly a third world country no matter how much we can find to complain about at times. It must be very exciting for those of you coming home. I was in Bermuda for a couple of years but didn't like living there and was so excited to come back to the UK last year.

Re: Waste of a chunk of your life
 

I'd love to be able to put a finger on what it is we're all searching for! I went back to the UK from Canada and hated it. We were so bored in Canada. Walking the seawall one more time and i was going to jump off it. I just found the overcrowding of London unbearable and the work work work ethic of everyone too much. Not to mention the constant, guess how much my house is worth, Zzzzzzz. We soon found the best thing about living back overthis side was European holidays. Its so nice to be able to jump on a plane to somewhere completely different for just a few days. I think this why i'll never leave European area again. I do miss a lot of stuff from Canada but not enough to make me leave Ireland.

Re: Waste of a chunk of your life
 

I left the UK about 14 years ago.Spent 3 years in N.Zealand and then Japan.I can't really use the word 'regret' as I met my hubby and had three beautiful kids in that time.However,I haven't been happy here (Japan) for quite a while but issues with hubby's job and what we're going to do employment wise kept us on that edge.

Now I feel that staying here and trying to make a life would be a waste.We don't have any quality of life here and I don't think it's going to get any better.It's not going to be easy at all going back to the UK.I mean I don't know if I'm even 'employable' but after living here,the thought of loving,supportive family being nearby,folk who actually seem to be able to think out of the box and a culture that I love just bring out the optimist in moi!

When you feel that you have wasted parts of your life,think of all your friends who maybe had a dream to travel or live abroad but never realised it for whatever reason,dependants,financial reasons or just plain lack of conviction.They probably look at you and think to themselves "Well,at least you had a go...at least you tried.I wish I'd gone for it!". I think whatever choices we make in life,we are always going to have regrets somewhere.

Snoggies!

Sammy

Re: Waste of a chunk of your life
 

At times I have felt like this about various time intervals since 1983 (when I first left the UK), and have felt that way at times since I came back. I've stopped trying to work out how much money I've "lost" and how much time I've "lost" and how much professional advancement I've "lost".

Thinking of terms of wasting/losing your life just does your head in, and if you can't change it there's no point in wasting more time beating yourself up about it when you could be getting on with life (I don't mean "you", I'm talking generally, including myself). It's something I have to keep telling myself because it's true and the only way to move on is to leave this stuff behind.

Re: Waste of a chunk of your life
 

Hi Dingbat,

Hope things start improving for you soon.

I was wondering if you would mind elaborating about why you think the fact that you have been gone for so long is negatively affecting the employment search in the UK.

Re: Waste of a chunk of your life
 

Yep understand that, we call leaving getting back on the planet :D

Just wanna be back in the world, Canada might seem isolated for some, however after OZ its 8 hour flight back to the UK seems like a day trip:lol:

Plus the USA will be on our doorstep, if you consider how far we had to travel in OZ to basically see much of the same, USA and Canada to us offers a lot of opportunity.

Having emigrated once I can say Australia has given us one benefit, Reality. We know Canada has many problems, weve been there many times times and lived there for a while previously, although a long time ago. Having friends there working in mental health and social work:eek:, also leaves us under no illusions.

I agree with who said you shouldnt regret your time anywhere, I think this thread is a great thing, reading other people talking about it, lightens it up a bit:thumbup: