Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

Hi Everyone!
Well long story short, been here in the US for 10 years now came over to marry my wife who is a USC and still happily married. Currently reside in the Chicagoland area in a very nice, safe and boring suburb, but make the most of the city at weekends. Things have gone really well for me here since I arrived, bought a house have a rewarding and high paying job that I enjoy and have made some good friends and generally immersed myself in the US way of life……….however……â� ��¦â€¦for the last 6 months or so I have been incredibly homesick, more than any other time that I have been here. In the past it has been short and passes quickly but this time it won’t go away. It all started , or I noticed it at least, when my wife and I went to see Paul McCartney in concert in the summer, the following week I felt like I was about to burst into tears at any moment, which is not like me at all. The riots quelled the felling a little but then it rose back up until I went back for a visit 3 weeks ago. Went back for 2 weeks with the wife (for the first time together, I have been back twice on my own but was glad to get back to the US on those two occasions) and had a real vacation, North Wales, Edinburgh, Cambridge, London got to spend time alone as well as visit family and friends. Since coming back I know I want to return don’t really mind where to be honest but there are a few things I have to consider.

• Cost of living, disposable income – I say I don’t care about it, but am I being honest I can’t us having the same standard of living we enjoy in the US
• Getting a job before we move, I am not being sponsored to go back so need to find a job on my own, how difficult is getting a job whilst still being in the US, very I would think given the current 17 year high unemployment I was hearing about while I was over there.
• My wife’s ability to work and find a job given what seems to be some anti US feelings over there.
• My pets, they are too old to fly and I will never leave them, should I wait until they pass until I go back?

My wife is surprisingly open to the idea of going over there but is concerned about how much less she will make in her field (veterinarian) compared to the US and the anti US feeling bothers her a bit too.
It’s such a big decision and so much to consider, any advice from anyone would be greatly appreciated or some feedback on others who have done it and regretted it or are glad they moved back.

Thanks

Wat2doo

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

I agree with you on the fact that standard of living in the US is far higher than the UK. This is because the cost of living is significantly lower here than in the UK. But I am not sure why you think there is anti-US feeling in the UK? I was there last year with my American wife and everyone was friendly to her and us. I believe media really makes things look far worse than they really are as sensationalizing an article helps them make more money. Agreed there are some negative feelings against Americans but you will always find a few bad apples wherever you are.

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

I guess that depends where you are in the US and where you go to in the UK. The cost of living where I am is far higher here than it will be when I move back home. Housing is about the same, petrol costs more in the UK, taxes are slightly higher there - but everything else is cheaper (healthcare, utilities, property taxes, tradesmen, entertainment etc.).

Of course salaries tend to be lower in the UK which makes a big difference.

To the OP, I feel for you regarding the pets. If they're too old to fly and you won't leave them, doesn't it follow that you have to wait? Or is there a chance they'd be OK to fly?

Of course, you could always take the Queen Mary and go in style!

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

As has been said, you can't generalize that UK cost of living is higher than US - check the thread on the US forum. It all depends on where you are talking about. Rural Tennessee and Huddersfield, low cost of living; New York and London high cost of living. You can't simply compare US to UK.

As for anti-US feeling, we only dislike one American, and he is no longer president.

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

When ARE dogs too old to fly? Sorry don't want to hijack your post!

BTW cost of living in Los Angeles is HIGH!

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

When I said cost of living in the US is lower in comparison to the UK, I was taking in account like for like. For a given profession: Like engineer, one would get nearly twice as much salary in the US for comparable location in both UK and US. Any other way of comparing will not be accurate. Only thing that I dislike in the US is the expensive medical insurance...one is safe as long as they have a job or really poor but if one is from the middle-class and out of work...then its tough to live in the US without medical insurance.

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

Cost of living in LA is very high but the salaries, for a given profession, are also relatively higher than other part of the US. But places like London, LA, NYC are, in my view, exceptional cities where the cost of living is way higher than most of the country.

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

But not everyone is an engineer (including the OP and his wife) - the same isn't true for all professions, so it is still a generalization that doesn't apply to all places, professions, (especially, as you said, when you consider professions that have to pay health insurance in the US), situations (e.g., retired - defined benefit UK pensions outstrip US defined contribution/self-selected investment), etc.

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

An engineer may make double the money, but depending where he lives that won't make him any better off than the UK, as dunrovin has pointed out.

I've read enough posts on this site to realize that some people are much better off financially in the US and some are better off in the UK. It all depends on individual circumstances.

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

I respect your view :) My comment was based on my personal experience as well as discussion with people I know in person (both engineers and non-engineers). For comparable locations in the UK and US (like for like), I feel US has a better cost of living. But my views excludes places like LA, NYC, London since these cities cost of living is extra-ordinarily higher than the average of both the countries. Eating out, electronics, gas (petrol) housing is relatively cheaper in the US than UK. UK although has fantastic public transportation but it is also very expensive. UK however, in my view, has superior medical system...I know a lot of people find NHS revolting but I personally feel that, ethically, providing health-care for the citizens is a right not a privilege as latter is the case here in the US. Fortunately we have a good coverage through my work but there are many that have no insurance and I think (I maybe wrong) most of the bankruptcy occurs in the US because of medical related reasons.

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

We were in the same boat as you there will always be pros and cons to staying and going. We are moving back to Scotland my home in the spring my American husband cannot wait he loves it there and has never felt any type of anti American feelings from anyone. He loves the fact that people are much more friendly than where we are in upstate NY.

As far as pets our dog will be 10 when we leave next year and we are taking the QM2 home it is easier for him to travel that way he is a very nervous dog. Also we get to see him every day during the trip home which he will love. Another bonus is you can take so much more luggage on the boat. It is a little more expensive than flying but not much. We did a lot of research into it and this is the best option for us.

As far as jobs we are staying with family until we find work. We have found it hard to find work from overseas because you cannot give exact dates of when you will be there and it is very unlikely they will hold a job for someone overseas with so much local unemployment. A friend of mine who went home last year had some good advice though to give a UK address as they will be much more likely to contact you but even so that does not always work. We have also thought of me going home first and getting work before he follows but I am confident we can find something once we go back. I have family I can work with until I find something so I am not worried about it.

At the end of the day if you go home you can always come back if you really find that you do not want to be there. Life is too short not to live it :)

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

Pretty amazing coincidence as we are planning to move around Spring ourself to Glasgow (Scotland) by QM2. Most likely it would be in March! :) Personally I found people here in Upstate NY (I live in Rochester) are very friendly just like in Glasgow. One thing I enjoy about Upstate is the optimism that is rare to find in Glasgow.

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

If you want to relocate it's best to has as little to hold you down as possible. So I wouldn't take ageing pets as they will make renting more difficult.

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

I typed homesick in the search and came up with this post. My sister has just gone back to UK after 3 weeks of holiday here and each time I say goodbye to someone close it has me questioning how much longer I can do this.
I am married to an American and although he first said he would move back to the UK when he retired, now he is a grand-dad I know that will never happen.
Homesickness is incredibly hard and I have no solution but get stuck back into normality here and deal with my life as best I can.
As to the poster of this, I have hijacked your post with my feelings as I don't want to be accused of bringing up a subject that has been discussed many times.
I will say, however, I was never of the impression that UK was anti-American. Whenever we visit my husband can't go anywhere without people asking him questions and telling him of their visits to USA and where they stayed, etc. I don't think that would be a down to going back home at all. I think you are lucky your wife is willing to go.
I have found when I holiday back home on my own, I am always ready to come back, but when my husband is with me, I don't want to leave.

I love this country and all it has to offer. I love the quality of life - and the people are friendly, but it isn't "home" and never will be.
Family aren't here and I miss them so much it hurts.

Sorry to hijack your post, but I needed to say this somewhere so that maybe I'll feel better.

Good luck on your move - and I wish that was me.

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

What's the alternative?

If you love your pets, you can't leave them behind, Yes, it will be harder to find a place to rent, but not impossible. The alternative is to wait until they pass on, which could be years from now, and miss out on life just to avoid a bit of hassle finding a place to live.

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

I agree. It's going to be a NIGHTMARE for me because I have 4 dogs. Yes....4!! :o But I wouldn't think of leaving them behind. It's going to make it so much harder to find a rental but the thought of walking the guys along the Thames keeps me going!!!! :wub:

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

I travel on the QM2 and the best website I`ve found for fares is
www.vacationstogo.com
They offer some really good bargains. The QM2 is a great experience, they spoil you rotten. The library is one of my favouritest places in the world.

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

Well I've more or less just made the decision to go back to the UK. I've been here over 15 years and after the first few years was never really homesick but the last 1 or 2 yrs it started and a short weekend trip back last weekend cemented it for me. I'm looking to move sometime in the New Year once events unfold on this side of the pond.

Again. like you, I have a great standard of living and fabulous weather in South Florida (live on a lake with a pool) but I just miss being back in Britain so much.

My situation's slightly different though as I'm currently married but unfortunately I'll be looking to go back on my own :(. We have dogs as well and it'll kill me to leave them but it's not fair to separate them and remove them from the only home they've ever known

I guess I'm nuts to be doing this :unsure: . I left Britain because the weather was lousy, taxes were too bleedin high and people whinge too much :eek:(not just about the weather ;) ) . No place like home :D

Wat2doo, why don't you do what other people here said. Go back on the QM2 or some other cruise to take your dogs back the leisurely way!! Royal Caribbean to repositioning cruises to Barcelona and Southampton I think in the spring and you could use a train from there home also if needed.

The scary thing is are we making the right choice? There's only one way you're gonna know! Why not do a checklist of Pros and cons but remember your heart is a hard thing to checklist!!

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

Thanks everyone for your replies. Just to clarify I only have one dog (approx 10yrs old) and two cats (12 and 11yes old). I assume the cats can go on the QM2 as well? But looking at the posts it does not look like they have that many spaces per ship and all of 2012 is booked so that gives me some time to plan I guess.

Having thought this through and talked about it with my wife I think I might ride out the animals lives here and make the most of the disposable income we have by saving it for a move in approx 5 years or so. In that time I should have a net worth of about $2MM once the house sells. This will give us little cushion not to worry about having to find a job right away and in honesty one of the reasons of the move it to get out of the rat race before it kills us!

I think I should be OK finding a job still given as I will be in my mid 40's, not sure if the UK still has you put your birthdate on your CV? but my work history is very solid. Wife can then take her time to find something she likes, she has talked about going back to University to do a pathology residency and not sure if this route to get her in might be better than a spouse visa?

So I feel good we have a (tentative) plan to return and gives me some time to research area's for jobs etc. etc.

Now is there anything I can start to do now in anticipation of the move......NI contributions, collecting a pension in the UK, registering with a doctor, start sending money over to easy tax implications for when I move etc. I have been a USC for a while so I can check that off the list.

All my family are still over in the UK so have plenty of addresses I can use as a UK base to do things, I still have a checking account over there and my drivers licence and passport are all current.

Also with respect to money I assume contributing to our 401k and IRA's are still a wise idea and we can still collect them over in the UK once they are eligable for dispursements?

Again thanks for everyones advice and I am sure I'll be posing more as time goes on, I know 5 years or so seems long but I feel good that I have that (distant) finish line in sight, and plan on making the most the US has to offer before then.

All the best.

Wat2doo

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

No, this has faded out as a practice and most recruiting agencies will now encourage you to leave your date of birth off your CV, just like here in the US.

Regarding living out the pet's lives - we thought about this too, our cats are 11 and 12 - but then we discovered that many cats live to be 18, 19, even 20+ and we decided we just can't wait that long!

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

Understood, but in 5 years time if they are still with us we can still go the QM2 route. I just don't feel comfortable putting them in a plane regardless of their age.

Good luck to you.

W2d

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

True, My grandmothers cat, (That I gave her when I was 12) ended up living with me and my Ds for a while, then at Mums, it was 23 when it died, poor old kitty. It was a healthy indoor/outdoor cat, not in the least bit pampered good mouser, and came from really good genes apparently. :lol:

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

No need to apologise . Perhaps you should pop over to the 'Over 50's Moving back to the UK' Forum..... Many of us on that forum have been in the US for many years lots of us over 30 years. I married an American and I also love this country and I children and Grandchilden. Many years ago my husband promised he would take me home when we retired. I am sure he hoped I would change my mind. But like you this is not my home.

Perhaps you need to talk to him and remind him of his promise after all you should come first. Grandchildren are wonderful but they do end up with their own busy lives. I find lots of people I know become built in babysitters and dont really have a life of their own. Thats fine if thats all you want but I want to do all the things I didnt do when I was home in the UK. I want to visit the museums and visit places I never got to go to.I dont know how badly you want to go home but homesickness tends to get worse as we get older. When are children are young we are too busy to think about it but as we get older and they leave home it does come back.

Perhaps you could fill us in on the other forum. Don't want to hi-jack this one. :)

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

When we first decided we were going home we had 3 mutts we had fitted with chips and in the process of having all the paperwork done. Unfortunately during the time we waited for the house to sell (over 3 years) they all died. They are not something you can just turn off your feelings for many of us they are members of our family. Mine were getting on when we decided on the move but we never thought to leave any of them behind. One was a real ugly mutt that no one else could possibly love but we adored him and he us.
We now have one new scottie over a year old. She is in the process of getting her paperwork done.

When I called an estate agent in the Uk regarding rentals with animals he told me always inquire about a property even though it might say no animals owners can change their minds. As with the one we are renting here in the US the right up said 'No Animals' but we asked and they said yes. We told them we have her cage trained and thats were she stayed.

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

I just wanted to say I'm sorry your having a bad time with the homesickness right now, it is really hard and it does feel like physical pain sometimes :(

Still it is always worse right after having to say goodbye to visiting friends/family. Hopefully it will feel less acute in a couple of weeks.

We can all relate so please don't feel like you hijacked the thread and you can always vent here about missing home.

Best wishes :)

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

Hi there. This is purely anecdotal but I did meet up with a mate from unit the other day who moved out to here recently (here being central MA) with his US wife. They used to live in Leeds and she works as a vet. Vets seem to get paid significantly less in the UK than they do in the US - it was a bone of contention and a big reason for them moving over. Anti-american prejudice - yeah it exists but none of the yanks I know who live in the UK had trouble getting a job because of it. Most of it is banter and the odd nasty comment.

Right now the UK is suffering due to a weak recovery, the austerity cuts and exposure to the Eurozone crisis - it is not impossible the country might go into recession - i.e two quarters of negative growth but much of that depends on what happens in Brussels with the rescue package. If you have to move now and can't wait another year the best prospects are in the south east where the unemployment rate is fairly low and there is job growth. (EDIT - just saw you are moving in 5 years so ignore the above)

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

On the flip side, pet owners don't get gouged in the UK the way they do here. If I have to take my cats to the vet, I never get away with a bill of less than $200 and if they actually have a serious problem it can run into the thousands.

I'm not surprised to hear that I'm paying these ridiculous fees so the vet can live a nice lifestyle, but I look forward to not funding that in the future :lol:

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

Thanks so much for your kind words. There's nothing that can alter that pain when you say goodbye, is there? Just knuckle down and get on with your life again.

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

Thanks for the reply, my wife and I actually met in Leeds!

I know that vets in the UK did make quite a bit less, my wife knows too but in reality how will taking that affect us mentally? We have talked about it and some of that has a bearing on why we are going to wait.

We are not really materialistic and having made the decision to wait then we can save and go over with a bit of a cushion so it's not quite a bad, if we have no debt all you need to earn is what you need to live I guess.

The economy over there is another factor, and in all honesty I know I want to go back but it's not hell over here, I can stick it out a while, in fact since I made the decision and have a plan I feel a lot better, I feel better than I have for quite a few month. Someone actully commented on it in work today did'nt feel like saying ".......well I look happier becasuse I have a plan to leave", that would really set the poo flying towards the fan!

Really the key is making sure my wife will be happy there, she may make a lot less, but if we don't need that money to pay for a house, car etc. there will be less pressure on her to feel she has to make that much, or she can go back and do a masters or something enjoyable. Anyone see my thinking here or am I talking crap!?


Thanks for the reply though.

PS. Those vet bills are paying for me to go home so shut it! :)
Please let's knot turn this into a vets are a rip off over here thread.
Do you think I should start another thread for some of the planning ahead questions I posed as I think most answers are to my original post and now I want to put my plan together?

Thanks

W2d

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

Totally agree with this - my daughter had to have her Golden Retriever put to sleep a few months ago. He had been ill on and off for the past year. She and her husband spent over $2,000 (which they really couldn't afford) on vet's bills, only to end up losing their beloved dog. Vets here charge an absolute fortune!!

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

::lol: - yep; I can see why they would rather be over here gouging us. I guess from the Vet's perspective they have all that schooling to pay off - but still.

When my wife was quite young their dog - who was an absolute terror, kept scratching up the furniture and chasing the farmer's chickens - wandered off into the woods. When he came back he had loads of porcupine needles stuck in him so my father in law took him off to the vet. 'How much to take the needles out ?' he asked. Having heard how much it was he then asked 'how much to put the dog down ?'. After a while he came how and told the kids there was nothing the vet could do. He only came clean about this a couple of years ago.

Re: Thinking of moving back to the UK from the US
 

My wife and I met in St Andrews Scotland - ah the memories..

Sounds like you have a very decent cushion which will make a lot of difference. I actually moved to the US about a year ago with no savings and some debt and while it was a bit of a struggle it was fine in the end.

Even 2 years will make a lot of difference in terms of the economy. I suspect things will begin to improve significantly 2012-13 provided the Eurozone can get it's act together.

No your plan makes a lot of sense. You sound like you need a change from your nice boring suburb and want to escape the rat-race. Having a good job is great but it can be something of a crutch. I mean looking at it another way a vet is a skilled profession that is in demand and you won't exactly starve on the lower UK salary if she goes down that route. Once you are back take your wife of a few city breaks to somewhere like Prague or Krakow or Nuremburg and she'll soon see the benefits of being on the other side of the pond.