Terry Anita

I have no close friends or family in either country.
I'm 63 and lived in the US for 30 years, my ex husband was American. However, I didn't form close friendships in the US and always felt like an outsider. Dating after my divorce in 2005 was always a disaster and I have not been in a relationship either. I have made one friend in the UK and am trying to get out more in the community here.

I did however have one very dear friend in the US. He became very ill a few years ago, terminal liver disease. I cared for him for 3 years as he progressed through the disease. It was devastating watching him decline and I lost myself in the process. When he passed away last year, I spiraled downwards, had a meltdown. And made the rash decision to move back to the UK. I sold my house and car, sold or gave away everything and arrived in the UK with my dog and 2 suitcases. And that's pretty much all I still have. I'm renting a flat, but haven't invested in furniture beyond the absolute bare essentials. A bed, desk, chair, bed side table and a mirror.

I'm seeking help for my mental health through the NHS, but it's slow going. I also have eye issues and have seen 4 doctors, with another appointment next week. I'm not really happy in the UK. But I am starting to get out into the community. I go to meetings at a local church outreach cafe/center. And hope to start volunteering there also. I suffer from social anxiety, C-PTSD and depression.

Every single day I go through the same thing. Stay in the UK or go back to the US. It's completely doing my head in and I go back and forth, multiple times a day. If I go back. I would have to rent a condo, buy a car and try to reestablish myself. But have no healthcare and know I will find it difficult to fit in and make friends. If I don't go back soon, I'll also lose my green card status.

A lot of things about the UK have been challenging. Including the weather! I wonder if I just miss the familiarity of the US and the lifestyle. Such as warmer weather, larger home, washer and dryer! I only have a washer in the flat I'm renting. I felt healthier in the US and used to workout daily, long bicycle rides. Here in the UK that has fallen off. I hope to get back in the gym, but just can't get past this stay or go daily battle.

It's an absolute nightmare and I know nobody can make the choice for me. But it helps, jut writing it down.

SanDiegogirl

Are you financially secure enough to move back to the US (you say you sold your US house and are still renting in the UK)?
One of the things you mentioned is that you 'don't have healthcare'.
Going back to the US would mean you would have to pay for an ACA policy.
Possibly several hundred dollars a month unless you qualified for subsidies.
At 63, would you be looking to work again? (it does not sound as though you work in the UK)
Good luck in your decision making.

Terry Anita

Thank you for the reply.
I am financially secure enough to move back. However I would be on a tight budget, as I am in the UK.

It's just overwhelming to go through such a move again. As much as I loved many things about the US. I just never felt I belonged there. But the UK is challenging. The weather, the standard of living is not as good. The people however are down to earth and have been very friendly and kind.

You're correct I would need healthcare in the US and I would most likely get a job. Thankfully I'm healthy and fit.

I feel more and more that the US is out of my reach now. And that a move back is unrealistic at this point. I just wish I loved the UK, but maybe I'll grow to love it. Or at least start to settle in and enjoy it more.

Shard

Sorry to read all the struggles you've been through and are going through. Not an easy time to make big decisions. Since you're still renting and not overly resettled, it might be worth going back to the US for a few weeks to reassess your feeling toward it after your UK return. It sounds like you left in a crisis, and Britain seemed like viable solution; that may still be the case but if you can afford to double-check your decision it might be worth doing so. In Britain volunteering and joining other social groups might help you reintegrate more easily.
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christmasoompa

Could you apply for US citizenship maybe? I assume you'd meet the physical presence criteria if you applied asap - you would also need to move back for a short while to apply, but it may be worth considering. It would just give you more options going forward and mean you could then live in either country with no issues. Bear in mind there's no time limit for losing your LPR status, you could lose it after a short period of time if you don't have ties to the US and show you still consider it your permanent home (i.e. no address there, not filing tax returns as resident etc). So it may be worth looking at doing that so you can secure your future in the US in case you change your mind and want to move back further down the line.

And if you do decide to stay in the UK, then perhaps you could look at a part-time job there too? It would help financially but also may help with your social circle and meeting people.

Best of luck, I hope that things improve for you.