kevd

I know this is a moving back to uk topic but maybe you can help.
I am 100% sure i want to live and work in Spain.
My wife is not so sure and it is causing major problems.
I don,t want her to do anything that makes her unhappy but staying in the uk is making me unhappy.
So what do we do?
Have you had a similar experience and how did you solve it?
It seems a no win situation.One of us is going to have to make a sacrifice.
We have children but they are grown up.So hopefully staying in touch wouldnt be too much of a problem being only 2 hours away in spain.
Thanks for your help.
So should we stay or go?

rugbymatt

Hi Kev, I hate to say this but I still think that the best place to ask this is in the Spain forum.

If what you want is a totally unbiased opinion there are a few people in there who are moving away so I think you will get one in there.

Heidiboo

Hi Kev
Listen and listen good, "same shit different bucket" so it all depends on what you are wanting to move for, better life style? better than what? spain is as crooked as the Chesterfield spire (near you i think) to many "penny millionaires" out here now and guess what they are all builders,painters,mechanics,plumbers,electricians etc etc and ALL sold there very successful businesses in the UK for £££££££ and their very expensive houses and came to Spain for a better life.Fact is work is very difficult to get, even if you are fluent Spanish the Spanish are reluctant to take you on,why cos they think that they are better than you and DONT wont to be proven wrong, working for ex-pats out here,well most of them have been "tared" with the same brush so everybody is careful about employing a brit to do anything.housing is over priced(yes cheaper than the UK) but so badly built you wouldnt waste your money on it if it wasnt for the sunshine here, the houses are damp,moldy, and very very cold from around November to April/May and then cold for another month.Good things about Spain sunshine cheap booze and fags and driving a car is cheaper all round, so if you come out here to work GOOD LUCK if you come out here to "retire" enjoy the sun etc.

Mitzyboy

Wow .... you obviously had some bad experiences .....

My house is dry and well built with a guarantee. It's built to differently to the UK, but it has to stand up to different conditions. They are built to be cooler so that in the very hot summers they are cooler inside!

I've experienced mostly excellent weather and had the heating on for maybe only 4 - 5 weeks compared to 4 to 5 months in the UK .... been able to go in the pool since beginning of May and last year was able to use it in November.

If you mix with the Spanish in time you get accepted as long as you don't act as if you are still in Britain, and of course it does depend where you live as places like Benidorm are tarred by the Brit on holiday syndrome.

Why use Brit builders? I used Spanish and they did an excellent job. Do the same as you would in the UK .... get recommendations. Have you not watched Rogue Trader . There are cowboys back in the Uk also. There are respected builders here as employers, but admittadly there are a good number of cowboys also!

Cost of living is about 30% cheaper than the UK here. As long as you don't insist on buying from British supermarkets!

Work IS difficult to get unless you speak Spanish ..... Its definately a more relaxed place for retirees.

Anyway, after trying to give a balanced view, back to the Spanish forum as this thread is a bit out of place here

Heidiboo

Well obviously i cant speak for your house Mitzyboy,and seeing we are in a "warmer" part of Spain than you up there in Valencia , and been here for a little over 20 years we have only EVER had heating on for such a short period "4-5 weeks" once that was in 1988 (i remember it well) and when shown other friends your postings well sorry to say they are still rolling on floor laughing there asses off.If you mix with the Spanish and learn the lingo then you will FULLY understand how ***** they are,only very recently a friend bought a new water pump for his "well" 4 weeks later it failed only to be told that his water is so contaminated that it has destroyed the metal of the pump and he would have to buy a new one!!!!WHY?Regarding standards of construction of Spanish houses it wasn't until 2005 that new houses had to have insulation fitted during construction due to the increase of bronchiole infections bought on by living in damp moldy conditions.Why use brit builders!!! why indeed IF the cowboys have moved to Spain WHY indeed,why use Spanish builders cos they know how to build to there standards and please dont tell me "its all depends if you supervise or not".Cost of living i here on a regular basis is not much different to the Uk i have been told many times how it is now about "on par" with the UK on most things. Oh and finally i'am Finnish and impartially to brits v spanish just pointing out nearly 20 years of observations for Kev. We can agree one one thing Mitzyboy retiring out here is a more relaxed place as long as you have an external income

Mitzyboy

Glad I gave you and your friends some amusement. Well as far as weather is concerned I'm telling you the truth so no need to make out I'm not!

I believe in giving a balanced view which is what I have shown. You seem to have a very negative view, and you have every right to express it. There are many different ares in Spain as you well know and obviously different attitudes in those areas. Why it should be different down there I don't know .... maybe the Brits have been down there so much longer, who knows.

The Spanish around here are very friendly and have been immensely helpful to me and other people I know around here. I am pleased we moved here, and I'm sorry to hear you don't have the same benefit.

And as for cost of living, I could go into details but its probably not worth it. I was very very careful when I moved here with spreadsheets and whatever ..... The cost of living in rural areas here is 30% cheaper. Not in the main cities for sure. I have heard its more expensive down South, but as I only went there on holiday once back in 1976 I'm not qualified to comment, whereas you clearly have exstensive knowledge of my area :-))

Heidiboo

I wish there was a "yawn icon" on here

Mitzyboy

Oh great ...... with 9 posts up and with attitude you'll surely do well on here

Anyways, I'll leave you to it with that

rugbymatt

Having fun?

Mitzyboy

Ahh you know me mate, always having fun

Heidiboo

and with over 2000 posts you have nothing better to do

Bye Mitzyboy xx

rugbymatt

or maybe he is a Mod, so he is probably the only one who has a reason to be here!!

Ray

Please don't be rude to people on here ..their point of view is as valid
as yours... I thank you

achanginglife

Anyway getting back to Kev's question.......

Its sounds like you will have some level of sacrifice one way or the other....unfortunately only you and your family can decide, these questions may help you become aware of what is best for you:
1.What is the most important thing to you in your life?
2.Which action will best support that thing (1.)?

Just imagine you have decided on living in Spain, and your wife is unhappy, take some time to consider each question, bear with them for a while and it may become clearer, give you a more rounded view..
1.What will happen if you continue living there?
2.What will happen if you move to UK?
3.What will not happen if you continue living there?
4.What will not happen if you move back to UK?

These questions need to be considered as a group of 4, don't work so well on their own.

Interested to know how you get on...Louise

kevd

Thanks to louise for the wise words and other helpful replies.
We am going over to the estepona area shortly for a holiday so will have to see how it goes.
I am sorry if i have caused a stir with this thread.I didnt realize it would cause a problem.
Obvoiusly peoples opinions vary so much but i just wanted to get a balanced view from people that had experiences to share.

Ah well back to life in Sheffield at least its sunny and warm today unlike a trip to Blackpool at the week-end in which we could hardly stand up for the wind and the sea was a horrible brown colour.One more reason to dream of a life in spain.
Thanks again.
I will post if anything exciting happens.Kev