Hi,

My friend separated from her husband last year, and found out she was 3 months pregnant expecting his child but didnt want him invloved so he doesn't know. She has been studying her degree for two years now and will have to put things on hold for a bit and may not be able to get into a job as she will have a newborn to care for- does the states offer any kind of benefit entitlement she can live off whilst she gets back into her feet and where can she get more information from??

Any help or advice is appreciated.

Thanx

Which country does she live?

All depends on the state and her citizenship.

Would probably have to claim child benefits off the ex for money on the kid.

Should be eligible for WIC for the child, for basic food goods and with that, would then become eligible for food stamps, or whatever the state calls it.

State education department site should have more info for childcare type benefits. Down my way though, there's a 3 year wait list once child is born before you can get childcare benefits, so not all that helpful.

I think if she wants any government assistance she'll have to disclose the father's name, and then they will go after him for support unless he is already making substantial payments towards the expenses of mother and, child. It may be possible to "go it alone", but not if she wants financial aid from the government.

There is TANF but it's not much. I believe the child has to be born but I'm not sure. It's low - and it varies by state but it may be around $350 a month. They require you to either be in a work or school program. They will give her subsidized daycare so she can attend their program - 30 hours a week minimum. It's a REAL HEADACHE to get. It's not enough to survive on. One benefit to TANF is you do get priority for daycare assistance. It's just because how it's funded. They will give it to an unemployed woman on TANF before they give it to a working mother. It's not enough to pay rent.

If she is a citizen there is food stamps. Those are pretty easy to qualify for if your income is under the limit. She won't be required to work with a child under 6. She can get the allotment for the child (max is $200 for the first person) and be sanctioned herself for not filing child support. So intead of $360 a month she would only get them for one which is $200 a month. If she opens a child support enforcement case (a hoop they will ask her to jump through for her food stamps or TANF) they will go after him - they are very aggressive too.
There is an exemption for domestic violence, but my experience is each state is different if they approve it or not.
If she is NOT a citizen but the child will be, she can get them for the child.

There is WIC for help with milk and peanutbutter. WIC is probably the easiest to qualify and get processed for.

Most places having long wait lists for housing.

Is she still on his insurance? He might find out about the pregnancy if he is seeing bills from the OB. ?

If you look in the phone book under abortion alternatives it should list crisis pregnancy centers. The should give her maternity clothes or a gift card and help with small things like that.

Most states won't bastardize a child. She should talk to a lawyer ASAP.

Even if she is seperated from the father - I believe that the father and child when older should have a right to know even if the father chooses not to be involved.

There are a host of legal issues that arise in a case like this such that simply 'hiding' the pregnancy may not be in her best interest. They are still legally married and as such he still holds some legal rights. Should she cross an international border with the child with the father still having some legal rights (and without his consent) then an additional set of problems will arise.

She should consult with a family law attorney for a more detailed explanation of the legal issues. If she is in school, it is likely her university will have a 'students' lawyer' who handles legal matters for students in cases like this.

As for financial assistance, what is her immigration status here? In some states the programs may be limited.

It hasn't been established that she is here. As far as we know, she may be in the UK looking to change countries. We are assuming that she's here because of the forum this is posted in. We simply don't have enough information to be at all useful

Well the OP did say:
So it's a fair assumption she is talking about the US. But yes, you are right, we shouldn't assume anything.

Many thanks all for your replies.

I've received further and more accurate information from her now, and i am hoping to offer some support through the knowledge gained here, she is looking for the guidance as she does not have a clue what to do.

She lives in California and has a green card. Her husband is american and the main reason for the separation is related to domestic violence. Also, her husband and the outlaws are aware of her pregnancy (apologies for the mistake) but they have not shown any interest in helping her with the chores. At the time of separation, she had no medical insurance or any source of income. A local women rights organization provided her the shelter and helped her get the medical insurance to cover the pregnancy, she is due within few weeks. She has a degree in Business Administration (i think middlesex uni) and currenty attending some sort of admin course to further improve her chances to find a job when she is ready - the study program is funded by the women right organization. Considering her pregnancy and lack of housing space at the shelter, the shelter folks are asking her to find a more permanent solution and apply for the government support - maybe apply for the section 8 and/or enroll in a degree program and apply for the financial aid to get through the first year of her maternity before she finds some work.

Her husband has some sort of business however it is family owned and he is an employee and earns around $4500 a month - he lives lavishly though and has multiple properties as she has been out with him purchasing properties and collecting rent however she believes all assets are under some sort of a family trust and he is not the registered owner. She also feels that he would do all he could to avoid paying anything meaningful towards the child support mainly due to his limited 'wage'.

She does not want to go back to the Uk, her family is financially helping her but the help is limited and they want her to return home and claim the benefits as they cannot financially support her for long. The girl doesn't want to go home, her only reason is that her life was miserable over there!! Surely not anyway that's her decision...

Considering all of the above, what are her options? Can she get housing benefit, income support and child support both income and day care etc? She doesn't have money to file for the divorce and she thinks it would be a waste as her husband's limited 'declared' income means she wouldn't get anything meaningful out of it. The house she moved in after marriage is also under her in-laws name. The situation is pathetic, I hope he can get some government support to help her get on her feet with a newborn.... Keep the information coming, much appreciated.

P.S: is there a way that she could obtain his income related information e.g. past 2 years tax returns through IRS? She has some documents that he sent her to support the visa application - pay stubs showing $4500 salary plus 3 years business tax returns - I can't understand how she was given visa on the basis of business tax returns when he doesn't own the business- anyway I'm not an expert and maybe $4500 monthly income is enough to get the marriage based visa..,

Thanks for the extra information. I have no idea about government programs, however there are loads of charitable & Church organizations who have resources to be able to help.

I volunteer with CASA in my area, and technically it deals with children in the court system, but they've expanded their remit to include family mentoring and assistance with housing etc. It's well worth trawling these in her area, at the very least that have good contacts in the community.

Good luck to her.

My daughter had her son 9 years ago. She was not married, so that is a big difference, but the father still had lots of "rights" even though he was an asshole, to put it bluntly. She wanted to give the baby up for adoption but since the "father" provided one case of diapers that was not allowed. To make a long story short cause I know you want to know about any benefits, she got section 8 housing allowance, food stamps, and wic. She got Medicaid for her son. I think the food stamp office may be able to help her and Medicaid office. Each state is different. Fast forward 9 years later. She got sole and physical custody of her son, went to college on a pell grant and got her associates degree but it has been a struggle. If I were her I would go back to the UK as there is more of a support system for single parents. I know you said she does not like it back there though so I wish her all the best and hopefully you can find some more answers on what might be able to her.

Did she get the greencard via marriage to him?

If so, then even in divorce he's not released from the financial sponsors obligation, nor any co-sponsor.

So she can sue for that or remind him that any benefits she goes after for herself, could be claimed back against him.

As she's not a US citizen, there's not much she can get for herself, it would all be based on the child, being a US citizen.

Thing to really consider though, once child is born here, without the fathers permission, it could be very hard to leave the state, never mind moving back to the UK in the future, or even for a holiday.

I'm in CA and she will find it very tough going, most women go back to work at about 6 weeks after birth and they will expect her to try and do this too. Section 8 housing is hard to find and usually not in areas you'd want to live (around here anyway)
If she has the baby here he will have rights whether she wants him to or not, and once born he can stop her taking the baby out of the country to live and vacation, not that she will have money to visit UK as a single unemployed mother.
Had she asked earlier I would have recommended she go back to UK and have her baby there, she is trapping herself in the US by not doing this and if he is the vindictive kind (most abusers seem to be) he will delight in making her life a misery through control of the baby.
I wish her well and hope she can find some peace. How far along is she?

From reading the history of this woman is would appear she has the green card through marriage, since at the time of the separation she had no medical insurance of her own and no income.

The father earns over 50K a year, way over what is required to apply for a marriage visa.

Although the expectant spouse thinks it is not worth while to chase the guy as she does not think she will get much, this is exactly what she should be doing in earnest. He does not have a limited wage as she calls it.

For the shelter to recommend she applies for a degree course and financial aid and then use that to see her through the first year is tantamount to fraud. Better for them to guide her to a lawyer who deals in abusive marriage breakups and get the financial support she needs from her husband.

Under the marriage visa rules she is not eligible to "public funds". Her sponsor is liable for all her financial needs. The child will probably be eligible for assistance.

While one can have sympathy for the mother, in her circumstances how did she think she was going to cope without any resources of her own without having to "go on benefits"?