Hello I'm new tonight as a member. I am in need of help and advice and I am really grateful to you for reading this. We came to Canada from the UK 7 years ago now, with three kids who were 7,7 and 5. Said goodbye of course to loved ones but it was an adventure, It was my husband ambition to live in Victoria and get out of crazy, packed, stressed Britain for a while. It was supposed to be just a 3 year thing, how silly that it would be just a quick trip. I settled very well into my little lovely town and my kids did of course but he didn't due to several reasons.I am in a most beautiful little town, have wonderful friends, a nice job and a decent education (not the best) for my growing teenagers. However, I am terribly homesick right now, miss all of my family very very much. My husband has wanted to go back for a while and really doesn't want to stay here. He travels back regularly for work as his business is there but he just about manages running it when he's here but finds it hard. We sold our house after a long while in April and moved into our condo that we had rented, starting our journey home. I knew it would be hard with many things to question my decision but didn't realize it would be quite so difficult to stay focused. We are trying to get a rental in the UK in Christchurch, my two older children now 16 have been offered a place in 6th form in a good school but my youngest I can't get in due to no address and oversubscribed year 9. Rentals don't come up very often where we are heading to in Dorset. The problem is, I am finding it very hard to give up what I have here but mostly my two older twins really do not want to go. I can't really blame them as they are saying goodbye to their friends and they have become very Canadian. My youngest now 13 is happy to go. I know they will be ok in the UK and they will settle but they really do not want to go and I don't feel I should force them, or should I. Would be easier if I knew what I wanted to do or if we didn't have a choice. To make things worse my husband and I are stressed out totally with one another....big strain, big problems and all I want right now is to have a cuppa tea with my mum. Aging parents and being so far away is tough, but do i listen to my kids and let them graduate and have regular trips home instead. Relocating back to the UK with upset and reluctant teens....that is really what i'm asking any advice on!!!!!

I dont have children but I also lived on Vancouver Island and the bug got me as well that I wanted to relocate back to UK. My O H was most reluctant but after 4 years of deliberation and questioning ourselves, we did it! He has settled in fantastically probably quicker and easier than me. I do know that once you get that homesickness, it does not go away. You and your husband's wishes are what really count. Children cannot know what is best for a family and from other friends I hear that teenagers are always petulant and awkward anyway. They will leave youone day on their own road of discovery and then where will you be? Miserable in Canada or happier in UK. Perhaps offer them the option of going back to Canada to study. One thing though to think of is that if they do want to go to university you must be resident for 3 years to get the cheaper fees. I bet they settle in well eventually.

Make sure you all have your Canadian citizenships first though.

I'd think long and hard before moving teenagers who don't want to move. This is the time when they are forging their identity among their peers and marking out their place in the world. And teenagers are not quite children who cannot know what's best for them.

For what it's worth, we moved a 15 year old (yes in her GCSE year) and an 11 year old to Canada. The 15 year old is now 19 and very Canadian. Great. She's settled very well. But she has never, ever forgiven me for taking the decision to move her. Our relationship has never been the same since. Looking back at her misery when it happened and what she went through is very painful for me. She was desperate. She looked to her school for support. Their hands were tied of course, because they had to support us. But they had to deal with her unhappiness over leaving and the things she had to give up. I'd think long and hard before you take that step.

S