Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > Moving back or to the UK
Reload this Page >

Should we move back to the UK?

Should we move back to the UK?

Old May 16th 2020, 4:15 pm
  #1  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: May 2020
Posts: 18
elizabeth78 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Should we move back to the UK?

I know this is often asked, but usually by people with quite different situations and feelings about it. We came to San Francisco for my husband's work seven years ago, and we love the city, the climate, the many options for travel nearby, the opportunities for work, and did I mention the climate?
But I've always felt a little lonely. I can't shake the belief that I just don't 'click' with Americans, and I crave the sense of belonging that I think I'd have back in the UK.
We also have a 3-year-old, and really want her grandparents to be a bigger part of her life. Especially now that travel across the pond is likely to become more difficult.
We can apply for citizenship in September, and will talk to a tax adviser about that side of things. Personally I'd love to have the freedom to come back to the Bay Area later, though my husband thinks this would be almost impossible in terms of finding work, plus concerns about health insurance etc.
I guess I don't know if I'm being sentimental about the UK, and wouldn't actually feel as cozily 'back home' as I imagine I would if we went back. And maybe there are some major considerations we're missing, whether related to Brexit, Covid, schools...
Would love to hear from anyone who feels emotionally torn between two places!
elizabeth78 is offline  
Old May 16th 2020, 5:13 pm
  #2  
 
BritInParis's Avatar
 
Joined: Feb 2012
Location: Not in Paris
Posts: 17,445
BritInParis has a reputation beyond reputeBritInParis has a reputation beyond reputeBritInParis has a reputation beyond reputeBritInParis has a reputation beyond reputeBritInParis has a reputation beyond reputeBritInParis has a reputation beyond reputeBritInParis has a reputation beyond reputeBritInParis has a reputation beyond reputeBritInParis has a reputation beyond reputeBritInParis has a reputation beyond reputeBritInParis has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should we move back to the UK?

Being able to obtain citizenship and move back before your daughter starts school sounds like perfect timing if you want to give the UK a go but leave the door open to return if you change your mind or an opportunity arises.
BritInParis is online now  
Old May 16th 2020, 7:26 pm
  #3  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: May 2010
Location: San Diego, California
Posts: 8,816
SanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should we move back to the UK?

we love the city, the climate, the many options for travel nearby, the opportunities for work, and did I mention the climate?

If you move back to the UK can you contemplate somewhere in the UK which is going to offer you all the things above which you currently have?

While having grandparents around and a feeling of belonging in the UK, these 'cravings'are going to pale in comparison if you/husband doesn't get a satisfactory job, or you live somewhere you really don't like or you hate the rain. Have you researched all your options regarding employment/place to live/schools etc?

I've often thought about moving back - but then reality kicks in and having a long vacation in the UK seems to 'scratch the itch'

As said, getting your citizenship will make it easier to move back to the US if things don't work out.

SanDiegogirl is online now  
Old May 16th 2020, 7:32 pm
  #4  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: bute
Posts: 9,740
scot47 has a reputation beyond reputescot47 has a reputation beyond reputescot47 has a reputation beyond reputescot47 has a reputation beyond reputescot47 has a reputation beyond reputescot47 has a reputation beyond reputescot47 has a reputation beyond reputescot47 has a reputation beyond reputescot47 has a reputation beyond reputescot47 has a reputation beyond reputescot47 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should we move back to the UK?

After a while away from the Uk, you can forget all the negatives. Do not look at the Past through rose-tinted glasses. And remember that you are romanticisng about a place that has changed. The place you remember with nostalgia is now quite different. You cannot return to a place that is now in the Past. (Unless you get a Time Machine.)e
scot47 is offline  
Old May 16th 2020, 8:19 pm
  #5  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: May 2020
Posts: 18
elizabeth78 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Should we move back to the UK?

Originally Posted by BritInParis View Post
Being able to obtain citizenship and move back before your daughter starts school sounds like perfect timing if you want to give the UK a go but leave the door open to return if you change your mind or an opportunity arises.

That was always my thinking, but I've been persuaded by my husband's arguments for why, if we leave, it's unlikely we'd come back; and 'leaving forever' is a sad thought (though no sadder than 'staying forever'!) But I do agree, since we're so close to being able to get citizenship, it seems sensible...

Last edited by elizabeth78; May 16th 2020 at 8:27 pm.
elizabeth78 is offline  
Old May 16th 2020, 8:24 pm
  #6  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: May 2020
Posts: 18
elizabeth78 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Should we move back to the UK?

Originally Posted by SanDiegogirl View Post
If you move back to the UK can you contemplate somewhere in the UK which is going to offer you all the things above which you currently have?

While having grandparents around and a feeling of belonging in the UK, these 'cravings'are going to pale in comparison if you/husband doesn't get a satisfactory job, or you live somewhere you really don't like or you hate the rain. Have you researched all your options regarding employment/place to live/schools etc?


I mean, I think the Sussex countryside is as beautiful in its way as California - but yeah there's no equivalent of Tahoe, Big Sur, etc. Hmm.

Husband can transfer easily (he's at Google), but my job options are more limited in the UK for sure, especially as we've decided against London. We'd go for Brighton or the Sussex countryside, to be near family and friends.


This does make me think we should stay - the only thing pulling me towards the UK is hard-to-define and hard-to-trust emotional feelings... Things are objectively better here, it's true. Thank you!
elizabeth78 is offline  
Old May 16th 2020, 8:29 pm
  #7  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: May 2020
Posts: 18
elizabeth78 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Should we move back to the UK?

Originally Posted by scot47 View Post
After a while away from the Uk, you can forget all the negatives. Do not look at the Past through rose-tinted glasses. And remember that you are romanticisng about a place that has changed. The place you remember with nostalgia is now quite different. You cannot return to a place that is now in the Past. (Unless you get a Time Machine.)e
This is helpful; thanks. It's true too that *we* have changed, and are now parents - we won't be going back to the chilled out parties-and-weekends-away lifestyle that we left! I think I probably am romanticising.
elizabeth78 is offline  
Old May 16th 2020, 8:50 pm
  #8  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: May 2010
Location: San Diego, California
Posts: 8,816
SanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond reputeSanDiegogirl has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should we move back to the UK?

Originally Posted by elizabeth78 View Post
I mean, I think the Sussex countryside is as beautiful in its way as California - but yeah there's no equivalent of Tahoe, Big Sur, etc. Hmm.

Husband can transfer easily (he's at Google), but my job options are more limited in the UK for sure, especially as we've decided against London. We'd go for Brighton or the Sussex countryside, to be near family and friends.


This does make me think we should stay - the only thing pulling me towards the UK is hard-to-define and hard-to-trust emotional feelings... Things are objectively better here, it's true. Thank you!

Well at least one very important element is sorted - a job. I'm from the Guildford area and think Surrey and Sussex are really lovely. No matter how much the sun shines in California I still really miss the color green !
SanDiegogirl is online now  
Old May 16th 2020, 10:34 pm
  #9  
Democracy advocate
 
Cape Blue's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 11,880
Cape Blue has a reputation beyond reputeCape Blue has a reputation beyond reputeCape Blue has a reputation beyond reputeCape Blue has a reputation beyond reputeCape Blue has a reputation beyond reputeCape Blue has a reputation beyond reputeCape Blue has a reputation beyond reputeCape Blue has a reputation beyond reputeCape Blue has a reputation beyond reputeCape Blue has a reputation beyond reputeCape Blue has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should we move back to the UK?

Originally Posted by elizabeth78 View Post
I know this is often asked, but usually by people with quite different situations and feelings about it. We came to San Francisco for my husband's work seven years ago, and we love the city, the climate, the many options for travel nearby, the opportunities for work, and did I mention the climate?
But I've always felt a little lonely. I can't shake the belief that I just don't 'click' with Americans, and I crave the sense of belonging that I think I'd have back in the UK.
We also have a 3-year-old, and really want her grandparents to be a bigger part of her life. Especially now that travel across the pond is likely to become more difficult.
We can apply for citizenship in September, and will talk to a tax adviser about that side of things. Personally I'd love to have the freedom to come back to the Bay Area later, though my husband thinks this would be almost impossible in terms of finding work, plus concerns about health insurance etc.
I guess I don't know if I'm being sentimental about the UK, and wouldn't actually feel as cozily 'back home' as I imagine I would if we went back. And maybe there are some major considerations we're missing, whether related to Brexit, Covid, schools...
Would love to hear from anyone who feels emotionally torn between two places!
Give that a whirl - well, post-corona.
https://www.meetup.com/brit-92/

Cape Blue is offline  
Old May 16th 2020, 10:52 pm
  #10  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 5,157
Moses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should we move back to the UK?

Originally Posted by elizabeth78 View Post
I know this is often asked, but usually by people with quite different situations and feelings about it. We came to San Francisco for my husband's work seven years ago, and we love the city, the climate, the many options for travel nearby, the opportunities for work, and did I mention the climate?
But I've always felt a little lonely. I can't shake the belief that I just don't 'click' with Americans, and I crave the sense of belonging that I think I'd have back in the UK.
We also have a 3-year-old, and really want her grandparents to be a bigger part of her life. Especially now that travel across the pond is likely to become more difficult.
We can apply for citizenship in September, and will talk to a tax adviser about that side of things. Personally I'd love to have the freedom to come back to the Bay Area later, though my husband thinks this would be almost impossible in terms of finding work, plus concerns about health insurance etc.
I guess I don't know if I'm being sentimental about the UK, and wouldn't actually feel as cozily 'back home' as I imagine I would if we went back. And maybe there are some major considerations we're missing, whether related to Brexit, Covid, schools...
Would love to hear from anyone who feels emotionally torn between two places!
Most people I know complained about the cost of SF (Palo Alto office), so no idea these days. All I know is that we probably have more stunning places close by in Europe at a fraction of the cost. Even with average paid jobs, we can afford a house here (although no longer in UK but Ireland) and a small holiday villa in Spain and the Selva (Costa Brava) coast is probably just as stunning as Big Sur. Most I know couldn't even afford a decent apartment, or would have had huge huge mortgages always living in uncertainty. Every situation is different but there are always alternatives.
Moses2013 is offline  
Old May 17th 2020, 1:56 am
  #11  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: May 2020
Posts: 18
elizabeth78 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Should we move back to the UK?

Originally Posted by Cape Blue View Post
Give that a whirl - well, post-corona.
Oh nice! I will.
elizabeth78 is offline  
Old May 17th 2020, 1:58 am
  #12  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: May 2020
Posts: 18
elizabeth78 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Should we move back to the UK?

Originally Posted by Moses2013 View Post
Most people I know complained about the cost of SF (Palo Alto office), so no idea these days. All I know is that we probably have more stunning places close by in Europe at a fraction of the cost. Even with average paid jobs, we can afford a house here (although no longer in UK but Ireland) and a small holiday villa in Spain and the Selva (Costa Brava) coast is probably just as stunning as Big Sur. Most I know couldn't even afford a decent apartment, or would have had huge huge mortgages always living in uncertainty. Every situation is different but there are always alternatives.
SF is crazy expensive but then so is Brighton and that’s where we grew up so I’d really wanna go back to somewhere in Sussex. Cost of living certainly seems lower in the UK though, so that’s def a consideration. I *am* concerned about cheap flights to Europe no longer being an option post-pandemic...
elizabeth78 is offline  
Old May 17th 2020, 7:57 am
  #13  
Heading for Poppyland
 
robin1234's Avatar
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: North Norfolk and northern New York State
Posts: 13,032
robin1234 has a reputation beyond reputerobin1234 has a reputation beyond reputerobin1234 has a reputation beyond reputerobin1234 has a reputation beyond reputerobin1234 has a reputation beyond reputerobin1234 has a reputation beyond reputerobin1234 has a reputation beyond reputerobin1234 has a reputation beyond reputerobin1234 has a reputation beyond reputerobin1234 has a reputation beyond reputerobin1234 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should we move back to the UK?

Originally Posted by elizabeth78 View Post
SF is crazy expensive but then so is Brighton and that’s where we grew up so I’d really wanna go back to somewhere in Sussex. Cost of living certainly seems lower in the UK though, so that’s def a consideration. I *am* concerned about cheap flights to Europe no longer being an option post-pandemic...
Brighton is expensive, but plenty of places in the Weald, and rural Sussex generally, are surprisingly reasonable in price, if they are not convenient to a railway station. And I think a downside of Sussex is poor roads and slow train times to London.
robin1234 is offline  
Old May 17th 2020, 10:29 am
  #14  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 5,157
Moses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond reputeMoses2013 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Should we move back to the UK?

Originally Posted by elizabeth78 View Post
SF is crazy expensive but then so is Brighton and that’s where we grew up so I’d really wanna go back to somewhere in Sussex. Cost of living certainly seems lower in the UK though, so that’s def a consideration. I *am* concerned about cheap flights to Europe no longer being an option post-pandemic...
Sure but you have to think different. Even if you aren't in Brighton, it's still easier than before. A 2 hour drive is nothing and you could take the less busier roads to enjoy countryside, still visit family for lunch and be back home for dinner. I usually take the car ferry anyway and drive to Spain. It might seem more expensive but we don't need a hire car and can stock up with food and drink. Yes it might take a while, though things will get back to normal again.
Moses2013 is offline  
Old May 17th 2020, 2:12 pm
  #15  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: May 2020
Posts: 18
elizabeth78 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Should we move back to the UK?

Originally Posted by robin1234 View Post
Brighton is expensive, but plenty of places in the Weald, and rural Sussex generally, are surprisingly reasonable in price, if they are not convenient to a railway station. And I think a downside of Sussex is poor roads and slow train times to London.
We definitely need to check out more areas. Our hope is that working from home will become super common in the tech industry, so commutes will be less of an issue... Although maybe we should wait and see if that turns out to be the case. After doing the Brighton to London commute for years, I am NEVER doing that again!
elizabeth78 is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.