should I go or should I stay?
#1
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should I go or should I stay?
I am 60 and have been through some tough health times. My French is ok. My kids have left school and college. My son is ok workwise but my daughter struggles to find a job despite the fact that she is bi-lingual. We have family in the UK, and friends. We left the UK nearly 13 years ago. Now I am ready to move on with my life following the loss of my husband 4 years ago. I would be interested in meeting someone else to spend the rest of my life with too - where I live there is no one as it is all couples or much older retirees. Do I do that here in France (good weather and better health care) or go back to where I think life might be easier (bureaucracy), food is cheaper (and more varied) and where friends are made because of values and shared interests rather than just because they are fellow expats? Of course I will take a hit on the exchange rate but it might be worth it? Would be interested to hear what others think as am currently torn between moving to a different part of France or the UK.
Last edited by blueeyes237; Jan 15th 2016 at 11:47 am.
#2
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Joined: Feb 2013
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Re: should I go or should I stay?
I am 60 and have been through some tough health times. My French is ok. My kids have left school and college. My son is ok workwise but my daughter struggles to find a job despite the fact that she is bi-lingual. We have family in the UK, and friends. We left the UK nearly 13 years ago. Now I am ready to move on with my life following the loss of my husband 4 years ago. I would be interested in meeting someone else to spend the rest of my life with too - where I live there is no one as it is all couples or much older retirees. Do I do that here in France (good weather and better health care) or go back to where I think life might be easier (bureaucracy), food is cheaper (and more varied) and where friends are made because of values and shared interests rather than just because they are fellow expats? Of course I will take a hit on the exchange rate but it might be worth it? Would be interested to hear what others think as am currently torn between moving to a different part of France or the UK.
#3
Re: should I go or should I stay?
I've never lived in France, so I can't compare the two, but if you want more of a social life, and you are unable to mix with the French community, then coming back to the UK seems like a possibly good idea.
But, my own experience of overcoming loneliness has been that the solution is often accepting other people's differences rather than searching for people with whom I have something in common. Would your daughter and son be returning with you? If not, would you find it lonelier in the UK?
But, my own experience of overcoming loneliness has been that the solution is often accepting other people's differences rather than searching for people with whom I have something in common. Would your daughter and son be returning with you? If not, would you find it lonelier in the UK?
#4
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Re: should I go or should I stay?
If I were you I would apply for French citizenship first, to give you the best of both worlds.
#5
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Location: France
Posts: 864
Re: should I go or should I stay?
I am 60 and have been through some tough health times. My French is ok. My kids have left school and college. My son is ok workwise but my daughter struggles to find a job despite the fact that she is bi-lingual. We have family in the UK, and friends. We left the UK nearly 13 years ago. Now I am ready to move on with my life following the loss of my husband 4 years ago. I would be interested in meeting someone else to spend the rest of my life with too - where I live there is no one as it is all couples or much older retirees. Do I do that here in France (good weather and better health care) or go back to where I think life might be easier (bureaucracy), food is cheaper (and more varied) and where friends are made because of values and shared interests rather than just because they are fellow expats? Of course I will take a hit on the exchange rate but it might be worth it? Would be interested to hear what others think as am currently torn between moving to a different part of France or the UK.
Youth unemployment is lower in the UK so your daughter will stand a better chance of getting a job (assuming she wants to move with you).
And if you're basically socialising only with expats, you'll obviously have a much bigger pool of potential partners to choose from if you're living in the UK.
I don't know where you live in France. I'm in Strasbourg and it's much more cosmopolitan than other parts of the country but even here your opportunities for meeting a British man (if that's what you're after) are pretty limited.
I can see why you're worried about healthcare and the weather back in the UK.
Re. the former, I can only hope it's not as bad as is generally supposed (plenty of returnees on this forum seem to have had positive experiences) and re. the latter, my plan would be to just rent something for nice long holidays in the sun.
As for the exchange rate, I'm sitting here watching the running text on the TV. I don't have my glasses on but I THINK it says sterling is now down to 1.3 against the euro....
#6
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Re: should I go or should I stay?
Sorry, I forgot to add. If British weather is a real concern, and I can see why it would be after 13 years in France, you could always think about basing yourself somewhere like Norfolk, Suffolk or parts of Kent. I've heard it said that Ipswich gets less rainfall than Beirut some years....
#7
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Re: should I go or should I stay?
Thank you everyone. I do mix with the French community as well but it is not ideal - you have to be really fluent to be yourself and it is not exactly a relaxing evening when your brain is having to work at what they are saying and what you want to say. I absolutely do accept other people for who they are Helen, that's why I have so many friends but there comes a point when socialising is not enough. I will look into French citizenship, that could be a good idea. I run two UK companies from France which means that I am in my home office alone all week which doesn't help either. Interesting thoughts about Kent, Norfolk and Suffolk, will do some research. Damp weather could be an issue but I don't mind less sun. Thank you again.
#8
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Location: France
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Re: should I go or should I stay?
I've heard of expats torn between staying put and returning to the UK doing the "where do you want to die" test but I for one prefer the aqua aerobics test.
I'm hoping to retire at 60 and if/when I do, will have a lot more time on my hands. The question then arises of how to spend the day. So I ask myself where would I have more fun: at an aqua aerobics class (or a bird watching class or a book club meeting, whatever tickles your cockles as my Russian husband would say) full of French women or one full of Brits? For me, the latter wins hands down. This is absolutely no reflection on French women. It's just about my own personal degree of ease with the French language and culture. I can function perfectly well in French but I've never actually peed myself laughing in it.
I'm hoping to retire at 60 and if/when I do, will have a lot more time on my hands. The question then arises of how to spend the day. So I ask myself where would I have more fun: at an aqua aerobics class (or a bird watching class or a book club meeting, whatever tickles your cockles as my Russian husband would say) full of French women or one full of Brits? For me, the latter wins hands down. This is absolutely no reflection on French women. It's just about my own personal degree of ease with the French language and culture. I can function perfectly well in French but I've never actually peed myself laughing in it.
#9
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Re: should I go or should I stay?
Good point well made Helen. If I stay I n France I will move to an area where there is another large expat community, more cosmopolitan outlook and more activities. The decision is not going to be easy
#10
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Joined: Nov 2015
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Re: should I go or should I stay?
I live in France and hate it here myself.
#14
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Re: should I go or should I stay?
Thank you everyone. I do mix with the French community as well but it is not ideal - you have to be really fluent to be yourself and it is not exactly a relaxing evening when your brain is having to work at what they are saying and what you want to say. I absolutely do accept other people for who they are Helen, that's why I have so many friends but there comes a point when socialising is not enough. I will look into French citizenship, that could be a good idea. I run two UK companies from France which means that I am in my home office alone all week which doesn't help either. Interesting thoughts about Kent, Norfolk and Suffolk, will do some research. Damp weather could be an issue but I don't mind less sun. Thank you again.
Can you advertise British weather to tourists? - BBC News
#15
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 6,148
Re: should I go or should I stay?
Thank you everyone. I do mix with the French community as well but it is not ideal - you have to be really fluent to be yourself and it is not exactly a relaxing evening when your brain is having to work at what they are saying and what you want to say. I absolutely do accept other people for who they are Helen, that's why I have so many friends but there comes a point when socialising is not enough. I will look into French citizenship, that could be a good idea. I run two UK companies from France which means that I am in my home office alone all week which doesn't help either. Interesting thoughts about Kent, Norfolk and Suffolk, will do some research. Damp weather could be an issue but I don't mind less sun. Thank you again.
Can you advertise British weather to tourists? - BBC News