should I go or should I stay?
 

I am 60 and have been through some tough health times. My French is ok. My kids have left school and college. My son is ok workwise but my daughter struggles to find a job despite the fact that she is bi-lingual. We have family in the UK, and friends. We left the UK nearly 13 years ago. Now I am ready to move on with my life following the loss of my husband 4 years ago. I would be interested in meeting someone else to spend the rest of my life with too - where I live there is no one as it is all couples or much older retirees. Do I do that here in France (good weather and better health care) or go back to where I think life might be easier (bureaucracy), food is cheaper (and more varied) and where friends are made because of values and shared interests rather than just because they are fellow expats? Of course I will take a hit on the exchange rate but it might be worth it? Would be interested to hear what others think as am currently torn between moving to a different part of France or the UK.

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

Sorry to hear that you've been through tough times. It's really hard to say and we're all different. At least you speak French, because language is always the biggest hurdle. I don't know where you are in France, but I assume the South if the weather is better, but apart from that, what would you really miss if you left today? Depending on budget and area, the UK can be just as great, or just as bad. France is only around the corner, so if you leave, it's not like you can't visit France again.

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

I've never lived in France, so I can't compare the two, but if you want more of a social life, and you are unable to mix with the French community, then coming back to the UK seems like a possibly good idea.

But, my own experience of overcoming loneliness has been that the solution is often accepting other people's differences rather than searching for people with whom I have something in common. Would your daughter and son be returning with you? If not, would you find it lonelier in the UK?

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

If I were you I would apply for French citizenship first, to give you the best of both worlds.

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

You should go.
Youth unemployment is lower in the UK so your daughter will stand a better chance of getting a job (assuming she wants to move with you).
And if you're basically socialising only with expats, you'll obviously have a much bigger pool of potential partners to choose from if you're living in the UK.
I don't know where you live in France. I'm in Strasbourg and it's much more cosmopolitan than other parts of the country but even here your opportunities for meeting a British man (if that's what you're after) are pretty limited.
I can see why you're worried about healthcare and the weather back in the UK.
Re. the former, I can only hope it's not as bad as is generally supposed (plenty of returnees on this forum seem to have had positive experiences) and re. the latter, my plan would be to just rent something for nice long holidays in the sun.
As for the exchange rate, I'm sitting here watching the running text on the TV. I don't have my glasses on but I THINK it says sterling is now down to 1.3 against the euro....

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

Sorry, I forgot to add. If British weather is a real concern, and I can see why it would be after 13 years in France, you could always think about basing yourself somewhere like Norfolk, Suffolk or parts of Kent. I've heard it said that Ipswich gets less rainfall than Beirut some years....

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

Thank you everyone. I do mix with the French community as well but it is not ideal - you have to be really fluent to be yourself and it is not exactly a relaxing evening when your brain is having to work at what they are saying and what you want to say. I absolutely do accept other people for who they are Helen, that's why I have so many friends but there comes a point when socialising is not enough. I will look into French citizenship, that could be a good idea. I run two UK companies from France which means that I am in my home office alone all week which doesn't help either. Interesting thoughts about Kent, Norfolk and Suffolk, will do some research. Damp weather could be an issue but I don't mind less sun. ;) Thank you again.

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

I've heard of expats torn between staying put and returning to the UK doing the "where do you want to die" test but I for one prefer the aqua aerobics test.
I'm hoping to retire at 60 and if/when I do, will have a lot more time on my hands. The question then arises of how to spend the day. So I ask myself where would I have more fun: at an aqua aerobics class (or a bird watching class or a book club meeting, whatever tickles your cockles as my Russian husband would say) full of French women or one full of Brits? For me, the latter wins hands down. This is absolutely no reflection on French women. It's just about my own personal degree of ease with the French language and culture. I can function perfectly well in French but I've never actually peed myself laughing in it.

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

Good point well made Helen. If I stay I n France I will move to an area where there is another large expat community, more cosmopolitan outlook and more activities. The decision is not going to be easy :ohmy:

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

I live in France and hate it here myself.

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

I have family who moved to Nofork and Suffolk and it is really cold there. When I visit I always take a jumper and coat.

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

Oh no! Why?
I don't hate it at all. I just don't want to live here once I'm retired.

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

Darn. The Norwich area was my Plan A.
What about Deal/Sandwich in Kent?

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

4 years old, but still true.
Can you advertise British weather to tourists? - BBC News

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

4 years old, but still true.
Can you advertise British weather to tourists? - BBC News

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

blues237, you should read the posts made be JJMB in the French forum as she struggled to sort out things for her aging, unwell parents. That may tip the balance for you.

OTOH, I have a lovely British friend, widowed aged 61 who lives nr Toulouse!! He's great fun......

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

Thanks petitefrancaise, only billionaires over 6'2" need apply :-)

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

Well if you find one and he's got a brother....;)

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

on a more serious note....
I left France after 11 years to move to the USA. France has a lot of very, very good points and I was unsure for a long time about whether to go or not. Then something happened to a friend's wife and I decided that life was too short to live somewhere wondering whether to move. So I did. There are some things that my heart quite literally aches for in France (friends and the countryside) that so far, I haven't replaced here. But otherwise it was a very good move.

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

Hi there from New Zealand blues237 & a warm welcome to the wonderful world of BE.

I see that you are of a quality vintage. I am too. ;)

I cannot actually help with a France /UK move but I also have that 'should we stay or should we go' dilemma. Makes my head spin some days.

I am going to suggest that you post about this in the France forum also just to cast the wider net.

Some will say follow your gut instinct. Do you feel the wind of change beneath your wings?

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

Hahahaha :lol: I usually specify "has to look something like George Clooney".

Just to say Welcome to the forum from another 60 year old (recent) widow. It's hard sometimes, isn't it. You're further along than me so you can probably give me some tips.

I think you probably just have to go with your heart, your instincts on this. Only you know what is the right thing to do. I'm sure you'll make the right decision :nod:

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

I am sorry to hear that you are now a widow. I hope you are doing ok and taking it one day at a time. I think life sends a series of curved balls and the trick is to keep batting and deal with them the best you can. Personally, I'd like a time out for a while! I can't really offer any advice other than keep going, fill your time, enjoy your friends and talk about your feelings to family and those who are close. Oh yes, and believe it will get better.

Re: should I go or should I stay?
 

:goodpost: