I know that you guys must have dealt with this question time and time again but it is driving me insane. I live in Norway (Norwegian husband) and 5 kidiwinks. We have been here 5 years and as unsettled as I feel here I wonder if I shouldn't just get on with it.

I really miss being a part of the culture - having the same values and interests as those around me, knowing all the famous faces and politicians, remembering childhood programmes. I really miss history and quirky traditions. And I would really like to have my long education recognised. Plus a long Winter with five children to dress really is a loooonnnnnng Winter

Plus, it is so very expensive here. We struggle on a little more £4000 per month, that is with no car, no big holiday, no swimming lessons, no music lessons, etc - just food, heating, mortgage, etc. And no one delivers our groceries and with a large family this is a real issue, believe me. The cost of everything takes away most of the pleasures in life - even the great outdoors requires skis and skates. But I love the Norwegian people and I love the community spirit and how trusting and caring everyone is.

So, am I imagining that the UK is greener than it really is. I cannot decide whether I am making a fuss over nothing. If I learned the language and accepted a job that I am overqualified for, would it all fall into place? Or will poor choice and high costs drive me crazy for the rest of my life.

BTW, my eldest child is 9 years old so if we do return to the UK it will be sooner rather than later. Not the best time with the cutbacks I guess.

I know exactly how you feel. I am living in India (I am British) with hubby and two kids. I too miss the culture, the environment, the shopping & infrastructure, the food and the small things I used to take for granted in England. I love coming back to England and when I'm there I feel like staying and when I'm back in India it takes me ages to get back into the whole system.

We are also planning to move to the UK maybe next year, but I know I will miss India like anything. Although it has many drawbacks in terms of infrastructure it is so much more comfortable in terms of a quality life one can live and the weather is good too, (although it can get too hot and sunny in the peak of summer, but then we have air conditioners). For instance luxuries like drivers, housemaids, cooks, cleaners, private academic tutors, guitar tutors, private schooling, medical system allow (especially) the mothers to lead a quality life and are very affordable. Then people are very respectful, families have strong moral values (in fact it's a subject at school!) and gyms and beauty parlours are affordable and at every corner!!! So, it's these factors which make me think that should we move or not!!! My elder son is 13 and we were thinking that he should do his GCSE's in the UK (Sept 2011) but now we're thinking maybe start at A'levels. Don't know, not sure either. The nearer the time comes the more confused I get!!

However one thing I'm very clear about is that Higher education from the UK is valued throughout the world and that there are better career prospects in the UK than in India, so that's one thing we will be looking at.

I hear you

My sister has been in Norway since 06 ,all your woes are the same as hers .

It has only been within recent years that she has felt at home . Now she has wonderful friends and is totally almost Norwegian .

It really did take years .

Winters are harsh ,I know she finds all those park- suits a bind too .

Do you speak Norwegian or do you have an Expat group near you?

My sister was only 20 when she married and moved there ,I think that is why she has finally settled (nearly done the same amount of time in each country )

Can you move back easily ?
Will you find work ...?

Will you get help in the UK ,from friends or family when you first get back ?

I don't know how old your children are ?
Know that the education system is totally different at some stages .
I am having this problem with my youngest son ,we are in the US and they start school later here too .

Well good luck ,if you need any other info on the Norwegian side -I can ask my sister

Lovely to hear from kindred spirits.

I guess at times like this you have to work out what is the most important thing for you and try not to think about all the other issues, positive and negative, in both countries.

The biggest problem as I see it is that I cannot be myself. I do speak Norwegian but it isn't great. I could get a job as a nursery assistant I think but what I would like to do is work as a lecturer in a university and my Norwegian is never ever going to be up to that. I also suspect that internal candidates are heavily favoured and it is difficult to get foreign qualifications fully recognised when in competition with a Norwegian. So do I forfeit career ambitions for the trusting stress free environment it can offer me as a mother? (And would I find work in the UK anyway?)

The kids. Well they are 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9. So, yes, lots of park suits. We tend to stay in a lot in the Winter which makes is a bit boring but dressing everyone only to get cold is a bit like climbing a moutain each day.

I do have good friends and neighbours but no expats. Maybe that is one of the problems. I am forever feeling like the immigrant housewife who gave up on her own life. I can't even go into a book shop and nose around, pop into M&S and find a cheap necklace to brighten up my wardrobe, jump into the car and drive to a nearby town for a change. I just have to wait for some horrendous bill that I wasn't expecting (recently paid £900 for root canal treatment) And I feel that the boys are losing out. I would really like to take them to somewhere like Pizza Hut that isn't too expensive but still a 'restuarant' rather than only managing Burger King or McDonalds. And then there is the Norwegian education system..... Gabgoeshome, I would love to hear what your sister has said about that because I am a teacher by profession and so a little biased.

Anyway, this wasn't meant to be a moan really. We have been here since 06 as well. It is only 5 years. Cannot imagine those who are expats for 15-20 years and then decide to return home.

I will try to PM you a bit later

You're right every country has its pros and cons. I feel the quotation, "the grass is greener on the other side" sums up human feelings. When we have a choice we tend to focus on the shortcomings of the country we're currently in and that makes the other choice a better place!!
I'm not in a position to advise because I too tend to appreciate England more when I'm in India than when I am there (and vice versa) because when you're away from something/someone you tend to value that thing more, as they say, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
Good luck and take care....