Originally Posted by chance to be (Post 7830016)

I dont post that often now, but I wanted to say how sorry I am about your situation. You have always been a huge amount of support for people on this forum and your upbeat nature in difficult times, Im sure has helped many a person
What do I know? What can I say? All I can do is show some empathy and reiterate whats others have already said.
All I do know is you have come across in the past as a wonderful person, and though you may not think it now - it WILL get better.
people say time is a healer - and it is - a great one - unfortunately time passes at its own pace and you have to ride this storm for now. But you will.
Love to you
C x

Originally Posted by Merseygirl (Post 7825271)

I am currently in the UK on a 3 month recce, I normally live in Adelaide and have done with my husband for 14 years. However, I have never really felt settle there, whereas my husband has and it has slowly and painfully driven a wedge between us as he does not want to move to the UK for any period of time (he is British also).
I had reached a point where I had to do something about this as it has been eating away at me for quite some time. So I decided to come to the UK on my own for awhile to sort my head out and see if I truly want to stay here.

However, a month into my stay, my husband has decided that he was wants a permanent separation regardless of whether I stay in Britain or return to OZ (I still have a home and job there).
This has made me feel very sad but not totally surprised given that we have been slowly drifting apart for the last few years. I am just sad that he has chosen to do it via email while I am away rather than sort it out with me face to face when I return in September. We have been married for 19 years and it is not the way I would have wished to conclude things. I respect his decision but feel sad because I have known him for 21 years and it is the end of an era. We don't have children which is a blessing in some ways. Part of me wants to stay in the UK for awhile but the other part of me longs for the security of my home and job in Oz even though things would never be the same again. I feel so confused and sad but I know I will get through this somehow.
I guess you could say that in some ways, it was moving to Australia that has caused us to drift apart, however there are never any guarantees that a marriage can last regardless of the reasons. I have already watched 3 other couples this year break up who were close friends of ours which hasn't helped!!
I have waffled on a bit, but just feel a need to let off some steam...
Thanks for reading.

Originally Posted by Merseygirl (Post 7825271)

I am currently in the UK on a 3 month recce, I normally live in Adelaide and have done with my husband for 14 years. However, I have never really felt settle there, whereas my husband has and it has slowly and painfully driven a wedge between us as he does not want to move to the UK for any period of time (he is British also).
I had reached a point where I had to do something about this as it has been eating away at me for quite some time. So I decided to come to the UK on my own for awhile to sort my head out and see if I truly want to stay here.

However, a month into my stay, my husband has decided that he was wants a permanent separation regardless of whether I stay in Britain or return to OZ (I still have a home and job there).
This has made me feel very sad but not totally surprised given that we have been slowly drifting apart for the last few years. I am just sad that he has chosen to do it via email while I am away rather than sort it out with me face to face when I return in September. We have been married for 19 years and it is not the way I would have wished to conclude things. I respect his decision but feel sad because I have known him for 21 years and it is the end of an era. We don't have children which is a blessing in some ways. Part of me wants to stay in the UK for awhile but the other part of me longs for the security of my home and job in Oz even though things would never be the same again. I feel so confused and sad but I know I will get through this somehow.
I guess you could say that in some ways, it was moving to Australia that has caused us to drift apart, however there are never any guarantees that a marriage can last regardless of the reasons. I have already watched 3 other couples this year break up who were close friends of ours which hasn't helped!!
I have waffled on a bit, but just feel a need to let off some steam...
Thanks for reading.

Originally Posted by Pollyana (Post 7841494)

((hugs)) Horrible position to be in, and I wish you lots of strength to get through it. You are so right that there are never guarantees a marriage will last, and migration must be one of the biggest strains on any relationship.

Hope the confusion and sadness give way to some light at the end of the tunnel soon :)

Originally Posted by Merseygirl (Post 7843819)

Thanks Pollyanna, I am feeling a bit stronger each day and know I can get through this.
By the way, are you a fan of Blackmore's Night? I recognise the words in your signature:
"Don't shed a tear for me,I stand alone. This path of destiny is all my own.
Once in the hands of fate,there is no choice, An echo on the wind,you'll hear my voice."
I can almost relate to those lyrics right now!

Originally Posted by Merseygirl (Post 7843819)

Thanks Pollyanna, I am feeling a bit stronger each day and know I can get through this.
By the way, are you a fan of Blackmore's Night? I recognise the words in your signature:
"Don't shed a tear for me,I stand alone. This path of destiny is all my own.
Once in the hands of fate,there is no choice, An echo on the wind,you'll hear my voice."
I can almost relate to those lyrics right now!

Originally Posted by Pollyana (Post 7844566)

Yep, you're right - they are from Village Lanterne by Blackmore's Night. Truly fanstastic, I love their music. I relate to them lyrics very well at the moment too ;)