I am so tired and depressed I need an unbiased third partys opinion .My daughter and I want to return to the UK with her 8yr old twin sons both of whom are intellectually disabled and have behavioural problems ,we have no family here or respite and there are no services able to assist ,one child is in a special school 60kms away the other goes to a mainstream school 30kms in the other direction . My daughter has a scholarship and is midway through a Bachelor of Nursing degree , I have chronic arthritis and sciatica.The last 6yrs have been a nightmare and we now feel we have 3 options but are so confused and depressed we cant choose one .
1. Return to uk ,better quality of life ,friends and extended family schools for boys ,help for me ,ability to travel .Downside ,uncertainty ,daughter unable to continue nursing will have to start from scratch in 3 yrs .
2.rent house here for 3yrs in area with services ,then decide what to do downside uncertainty with private rental
3, Buy house in another area , downside may not be able to sell in 3yrs all money tied up . Or do we just muddle on here and hope we survive .

Depends.
Are the twins UK citizens?
Does your Dd have permission from the other parent to remove them from the country?
Is your Dd a UKC?
Do you have family to take you all in while you get on your feet and find work, sort out schools etc?
If you are all UKC I wouldn't buy a home just for 3 years. I'd rent and save the money for when you move.

I'm not sure I understand your post 100%, but it sounds like your problems are not the type to be solved by (r)emigration.

Every plan has a downside or risk, nothing is perfect - lots of us here are playing, or have played, the game of weighing the pluses and minuses. It's enough to drive you nuts!

Good luck with whatever you decide!

If money was no object, where would you rather be ?

I guess what I'm saying is, where do you feel in your heart that you would be happiest ?

I've lived on the far south coast a couple of times in the last 20 years, 5 years at Dolphin Point, a crazy summer attempting to live in the bush on solar power near Tanja and quite a few years in Canberra, so I know the area well

And it is an amazingly beautiful place to live and raise a family, however... when we lived down on the coast itself it was always paid for by me working away from the area either in Canberra (have you done that commute ? - jeeeez) or by working on building contracts all over NSW and Victoria, My wife home schooled our daughter though primary ages at Dolphin Point but again I had to work away a huge amount of the time to afford making life on the South Coast pleasant (I was going to say bearable but that was too strong a word because the beauty of the place does balance the negatives a lot).

The distances between major centres like the Bay, Bega, Canberra, Nowra, Sydney! are a pain in the ass if you have to do them all the time, and fuel, food, rent and ..well lots of things, are all pretty expensive on the coast, I wouldn't like to live there broke or chewing through my savings and stressing out about it and whenever I looked locally the work down there seemed pretty thin on the ground.

I wouldn't like to be living there worried about money or if I felt in any way trapped by circumstances.

It sounds to me that what is important to your family at present and for the foreseeable future is going to be access to good quality affordable services and a close, supportive community network, in that situation I would choose the UK over the South Coast in a heartbeat if I could, If I had a house and could sell it and have enough funds to make a jump to the UK with a decent chunk of cash I would put my instinct first and just do it.

just sharing my honest opinion.

Why did you keep mentioning "3 years" in you post and what's the reason behind that time constraint ?

Thanks for your help everyone . The 3yr constraint is so my daughter can graduate as a registered nurse and have a years experience before we go to the UK also to allow time to save more . She is on a Carers payment but has saved $45,000 and will double that in 3yrs , I am on a disability pension and do not own my home ,we have no debt and the cars are fully paid for . We were all born in the UK and have NI numbers and have lived equal time there ,we all have dual nationality and both British and Australian passports ,we were last living in the UK 6yrs ago when my daughter adopted the boys who are her biological nephews ,we returned to relocate in 2009 but it all went wrong and we had to return here to care for my parents who have since died . Our hearts say go to the UK ,commonsense says stay for the 3yrs ,and today we had news that my daughter can buy a home in Albury which has all we need and there is a possibility that finally we may find peace and a solution and in three years we can re-evaluate and probably go back to the UK in a better position ,thanks for taking time to give your opinions it helps .

For my money if you are on a timeline for a qualification that is transferable then do that.
Job market quite tough right now so appropriate qualifications are so helpful.

That said check now that it is transferable or recognised (I would do this both there and in the UK IE don't just rely on an opinion from the australian side. they're not hiring in the UK!)
Maybe enquire if there are 'training' positions if you wanted to move sooner after qualification.
Tough decisions and I wish you all the best.

My arthritis went NUTS when I came back to UK two years ago. We lived literally right on the coast when I first came back and have since moved a little bit inland overall last November. Spring with it's better weather will tell if the move has helped this. I don't regret coming back by any means, I love living here but this has had an impact on my life and it's something to weigh up when making your decision. All the best

Reading this very objectively, unless there is a reason you really don't want to return to the UK, Option 1 looks clearly the best option.

Sometimes our decisions have to be directed by our life conditions, and the situation with your daughter's children and your health problems, and lack of support mean that the UK would be a more supportive environment.

Are you sure your daughter would have to start from scratch? Have you looked into this? I don't know the answer but sometimes we make assumptions that turn out to be incorrect. The cost of (international student) fees is also a consideration of course, but in the long term the 3 years may seem inconsequential. Continuing in your current situation for 3 years doesn't seem tenable.

Be VERY careful of buying property in the short-term. Esepcially in the US, which has obscenely high realtor fees, this could be a very, very expensive mistake. You might end up being unable to sell it, or having to take a huge loss in order to sell it.

We have checked and re checked everything ,my daughter would have to wait 3yrs to fulfil residency requirements and would have to begin again . At the moment we are both so tired and have lost all our confidence that I don't think we can re locate to the UK as much as we want to . If my daughter graduates here her qualifications would be recognised in the UK , we are looking at buying the house in Albury as we need breathing space and if we cannot sell will look at renting it ,will have the fares back in 3yrs if our sums are right and allowing for the unexpected . It has been a rough few years adopting the boys took two years of heartache ,my parents died , my daughter had a double cancer scare and my knee replacement has been cancelled three times ,and in between all this we have fought a successful anti discrimination case against the NSW education department , feel a bit tired just remembering it all , depression set in and absolute hopelessness but I guess we are survivors and you are all wonderful for taking the time to care sometimes we feel so alone so thank you

I just wanted to say hello and I so sorry you've had such a stressful time. I've been through some hard times and I just want to let you know the the storm will pass, it's hard to see it when you're in the middle of the squall, but it will pass and I hope peaceful times are coming for you soon.

An Irish Blessing
May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
The rain fall soft upon your fields
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

My favourite irish saying - "May you be alive at the end of the world"

When someone says life is hard ,I always want to say compared to what .
The alternative doesn't appeal , I know that this too shall pass and in ten years I will look back and wonder what I was so worried about . Thanks for putting it in perspective people .