franki

I haven't posted on here very much but I do pop on to read every now and then. I think I just need some reasurrance if anyone can offer it. We've just sold our house in US and will be returning to UK in February. It's all I've really wanted to do for the past 3 or so years and now that it's happening, I'm terrified that I'm doing the wrong thing. My 7 year old daughter is having a really hard time, she doesn't want to leave our house here and I don't blame her. We have a nice house and lots of wonderful memories and I tear up just thinking about leaving it. I know our lifestyle will not be as good over there and we wont be able to afford much of a house. The most positive one is my husband (USC). He keeps saying that everything will work out fine and I keep trying to tell myself the same thing but it doesn't make it any easier. There's really no turning back now so I would love to hear anything positive that anyone has to say. Thanks

Nomore

If you have been wanting to return for 3 years then it must be what you want. You are just having last minute nerves which is normal to anyone in this situation. Remember when you left for the USA in the first place, you must have felt the same anxiety
Your daughter is still young enough to adjust to another life-style, she will settle probably better than you.
Time is a healer, it will take time but you seem to be doing it for the right reasons, remember that.
Good Luck

bundy

Just a passing comment, but your title says 'Regretting it already' but your thread suggests more that you are (understandably) nervous about the what is a big move.

I think the key in these things is not to see it as a permanent move because to do so places too much pressure on you and your expectations. Rather, treat it as a new experience, something else to try to see how well it fits. Try to be as open-minded and laid-back about it as you can instead of setting up a whole load of expectations or fears which may or may not be fulfilled.

As paulrachel says, you've been thinking about this for 3 years - it's unlikely that you can be totally wrong about it. There must be a gut instinct in there somewhere that says this is the right thing to do.

You have the support of your OH, that's a big thing and very useful, and your daughter is young enough to be receptive to this new experience and able to adapt more quickly.

You'll be fine, I'm sure.

gruffbrown

It may be a bit smaller, but it won't be made from twigs

britvic

My OH a (USC) has the courage of a Lion as well when talking about our retune home in October, it must be his age, but me being that bit older also know I'm loosing mine but have dreamt of nothing else since living here, I want to go home, I need to go home, I will go home or I'll die a very unhappy Lady. When reading on here of those that have returned and are not sorry in the least give me the strength to see it through, I'm sure everything will work out for you & yours, so please let us know how you are, thinking of you, best of luck

Heading home

I can totally understand how you feel, franki. I would try and look at it this way, though - worst case, you'll go back and realise you would rather be living in the US. If this happens, I would view your move as an extended vacation. Take the opportunity to visit all the lovely places there are in the UK and, if possible, Europe. This will be a great experience for you all. After a year or two, go back to the US knowing for certain that it's the place you really want to live. My guess is, though, that once you go back, you'll love it. If you don't immediately feel like that, I would give it a few months - being honest about it February isn't the best month to be in the UK but wait till Spring arrives!

I'm sure your daughter will settle quickly and it's great that your husband is so supportive.

Lots of luck

TruBrit

hi franki, i've been here for 5 yrs and luckily can return to blighty every few weeks and for me it's home. yes you'll see some changes, some for the better and some maybe not so good but then that's the same everywhere. not sure what you mean about your lifestyle...bigger certainly is not always better

prior to living here my usc hubs lived in blighty for 18yrs and loved it and is looking fwd to returning one of these days.

i don't know you so not sure how long it is since you lived or visited the UK but guess you have family/friends in the UK that will be excited about your return and then hopefully your new friends from here will be eager to come visit. maybe you can arrange for a friend of your daughters to come stay in the summer hols and that will give her something to look fwd to.

Be positive even if for the family.... tons of good luck wishes...be sure to keep us posted

JAJ

A note of caution though - it won't be quite as easy to move back to the US once green card has been lost. Assuming original poster is not a US citizen. Ask on US immigration forum about the difficulties of retaining green card (not easy) once outside the US and what needs to be done to achieve this.

It might have made more sense to wait longer and become a US citizen, then decide where to live.

That said, if decision has already been made to move back, then make sure husband applies for his spouse visa before April - as immediate permanent residence for long term couples is being removed at that date.

Also get the children British style birth certificates, if they don't have these already.

Bob

especially is a kid is dual citizen...makes it so much easier to return at a later date..

blowfly

I dont think you should worry about living in the Uk,just dont read the Daily Mail.
Also when you have children,you tend to worry more and get more emotional this one I am speaking from experience and it has got me in a right mess trying to make sure the children were ok about everything.Seven years of age is very young and I am sure that adjusting wont be that difficult.Your her mum, your there and that is one of the things she needs the most.
You have wanted this for a while,perhaps in 3 years you just got comfortable with out knowing it.It means that your comfort zone will change again and that is hard. Hope all goes well for you and your family

meljor

I agree, wholeheartedly with Blowfly here, deciding what to do for the best when you have kids is so hard but it could go either way. The most important thing is you are together.

All the best for the future Franki.

dewdrop

I agree with blowfly, sums it up quite good....I also agree that we do get comfortable and the thought of unrooting our children scares us...I'm in the same dilemma, having an 8 1/2 year old & 3 1/2 and one on-the-way, I'm british, hubby is Canadian. We want to move back soon too, as the children are young. we are just waiting on jobs and the right timing! I wish I was in your shoes, and making a definate plan w/a move date...
I wish you and your family all the best, and keep us posted on everything!

franki

Thankyou all so much, you have definitely made me feel better. It's funny, a lot of what you said, I already knew deep down, but it's just different when it comes from somebody else, especially people you don't know.

There's just so much to do that it adds to the stress. I'm sure I'll be fine once we're settled and I'm pretty sure my daughter will be too.

It might have made more sense to wait longer and become a US citizen, then decide where to live.

I thought about becoming a citizen very briefly but it was already too late. I really don't want to wait any longer, mainly because of my daughter. I'm sure it'll be even harder for her in a couple of years. Also, my dad's health hasn't been too good, so we're just going to have to do it and hope for the best. If we do decide to return, we'll have to start from scratch.

So, now it's shipping companies etc. It's mind boggling! We've had a couple of quotes but the agents who come to the house don't seem to know what they're doing. Yesterday, we got a quote from Rinkens but the agent who came hadn't even heard of Rinkens. It's a bit scary.

Today, I sent out my husbands CV to several potential employees, hopefully something will come of those.

Anyway, thanks so much to all of you and I will keep you updated.

TruBrit

good to hear from you

which part of blighty are you returning to?

franki

That's a good question. Lancashire, somewhere. My dad is in Bispham, Blackpool and we would like to be close to him. The rest of my family and friends are around Burnley and Barnoldswick. It really depends on where my husband gets a job, hopefully it will be somewhere in between those areas. The real problem is finding a school for my daughter. I don't want to put her in a school and then have to take her out if my hubby finds a job somewhere else, so she'll have to have a couple of weeks off and just hope that he gets a job quickly. Fingers crossed!