Just thought I would share.
I emmigrated to Aus around 20 years ago, then moved back to the UK in 2003 where I met my lovely other half. In 2010 I sponsored him and we came to live in Aus. I had a reluctance to do it but I knew he was really unhappy in the UK so figured we could give it a go. Result: I was really unhappy and unsettled for at least 2 years. Still I was determined to give it a fair go. My OH listened patiently to my ramblings and tears about wanting to go back, never judged and occasionally would say well lets do it then - my reply was always no, I wanted to wait until he could at least get his passport. We bought a house in Dec 2012 and that caused me a massive amount of anxiety but eventually my anxiety dissipated and as my business (home business) grew I became happier and more settled. We just returned to the UK for a 4 week hol. I had some slight concern about scratching that surface of homesickness again, but I have to say that the rose tinted specs were removed and I saw my home in Aus in a new and positive light. However we have been back a few days now and that sense of something missing has returned. Family are a huge draw but I know that the family thing we have just experienced if we lived there would be quite different. People make an effort to see you when you're back for a short visit - I probably saw my brother more in the last 4 weeks than I did when I lived there for those 7 years. So despite my homesickness I am slowly (very slowly) settling here, but have a nagging feeling that the lack of connectivity with my home in Aus will remain for a long time. At the end of the day the streets I grew up and played in seem to be etched into my DNA and that is something that I may never feel again whilst I live here.

Have you ever thought about the problem might be within you and not the place? Many people run away and think they are escaping themselves but then it cathces up with them (i did the same). Sometimes you have to look deep down about why you are unhappy and work on that before you will be happy in any place. Just a thought, might not apply to you!

I think the older you get, the the more those feelings of not belonging pop to the fore. I was perfectly happy in Aus for a couple of decades but as I got older and the important people in my life got older it became obvious that all those years of my head asserting "this is home" were of little value because my stubborn heart refused to comply. No rationale for why - other than it may well be in our DNA and, like many old animals, we are most comfortable returning to our "place" to turn up our toes.

Of course it is quite possible to live in any other first world country but it is also quite possible that there will always be something missing in your life - whether you can live out your days with the gap, that's up to you! Sometimes there can be an insidious eroding of our mental and physical health when we live with the missing bit - I never realized just how debilitating it had become after 32 yrs but now that I belong the recovery has been magical. As long as you are in a position to keep all your options open you'll be fine! Glad you enjoyed your holiday anyway!!!

It's the curse of the expat, some people get it worse than others.

It may sound trivial, but I think these days we are so spoiled for choice that we can't accept that we are not able to have the best of both worlds.

I also think that sometimes we can't help torturing ourselves - we're not happy unless we are unhappy, so to speak.

Your words touch my heart-thanks

That resonates particularly.

Yes agree. For me it became a slow death. I knew I had to leave, and even wondered if I would actually live to get on the plane.

It hasn't been easy here,-but that I am here has calmed my spirit.

Goodness me we're a cheery lot aren't we! But in a funny way your replies have helped. At least I know I haven't got the homesick blues as bad as some of you had them. I live in a beautiful part of FNQ, I miss my family but I know they have a life of their own and life goes on and I know I have a good one here. Off to build a chicken coup now and then buy our first lot of chickens. No more being in the doldrums.

I, too, feel the need to go home more as I get older - much more, in fact.

"Slow death" is right!

I've lived abroad for the last 37 years and have never felt homesick. We've bought a house in Normandy to retire to next year and we have had no plans to return to the UK.

Until now.

Our last surviving parent (my wife's father) has rather unexpectedly survived so far and shows signs of surviving a bit longer.

Now we're thinking of renting a place in the UK until he cops it. He's my wife's father (obviously) and a man I unreservedly respect. It would be nice to look after him at his end.

There is much to be gained for all of you with this. I returned to the UK to look after my own Father for the last few months of his life.
Precious times.