Spacecake799

I have my doubts every day. Seems so much harder going back, but we are going somewhere totally new to us and are going to give it our best shot.

janeyk

Hi Spacecake
Is the quote from Southern comfort good? last time we used venture pets who were excellant?

Spacecake799

About $3500, are you still thinking of going back Jane?

ohdearydear

Couldn't log in over the weekend but have been checking on my phone...can't believe how many of you there are that are in a similar situation...I always thought it was just me considering going home! It also seems to be a female thing. Perhaps there is more to be said about it being a male environment. There seems to be a lot of child abuse, pet abuse and domestic abuse on the news - someone has mentioned to me that it's a male kiwi attitiude - I'm sure it happens everywhere but maybe because there are less people here I notice it more on the news - or should that be a positive thing that there is less to talk about on the news that there isn't enough happening in the news to broadcast?

Stormer, I see that you arrived in March. I'd be interested to know if you have children and whether you go to the get-togethers to meet other parents in a similar situation to you. That is one of the things that I find hardest - not because I didn't try when I got here, just because I found the other mothers to be uncooperative. I don't want to give you the impression that I'm some sort of prude but I HATE swearing in front of my daughter (she's 15 months and picking up a lot of words at the moment) and the last thing that I want is for her to start swearing without realising that it`s wrong! There also seems to be no watershed on TV or radio. From what I can tell, NZ is like Marmite. You either love it or you hate it. I truly hope that you continue to love it.

The other thing that strikes me as strange is how children AND adults walk down the street with no shoes! It`s not like they`re clean or have no stones - these people must have soles like leather. Each to their own!

Luvwelly - thanks so much for posting - i won't even miss the coffee - I've had better in London! The weather on the other hand, yes I'd agree - although it was blowing a gale in Wellington on Saturday night - so much so that I grabbed the chair arm when I thought the windows were going to blow in! It`s great to hear that it`s not just me having problems with skype and family! It was great 5 months ago but as the time goes on it gets harder each week - not for us - we would be happy to stay up late and skype but they don`t want to see us...they want to see their grandchild and she`s long gone to bed by 9-10pm. I`m in Wellington (guessing by your name you were too?) and haven`t experienced an earthquake yet (thankfully). I`ve already packed the emergency box and left it by the front door though - it`s always at the back of my mind.

My husband and I were talking about Christmas just last week and saying how strange it will feel. I holidayed in Spain one Christmas and found that bizarre so God knows how it`ll be here. I`ve not even seen any turkey mince in the supermarkets to make turkey burgers!!! Do people have Christmas music on? 'frosty the snowman', 'let it snow', 'white christmas' - just feels strange to think about singing about snow and white christmas' when it'll be sunny outside! The good thing about christmas in the UK is that you have heating! It doesn't matter if it's raining, freezing cold or, on the odd chance, snowing - you'll be warm inside! The other thing is that the food suits Christmas! BIG roast turkey followed by christmas pudding and bottles of good wine - doesn't seem like the sort of food that I'd want to eat in a heat wave. We also always had a real tree back in the UK....seems strange to think of a pine tree in the corner, smelling all wintery!

I don`t hate it in NZ and I didn`t hate the UK - but I don`t love either place - but at least I can call the UK home, I don`t feel like I can do that here - I'm 100% certain that a lot of that is not realising how much I would miss having my family in the same time zone. I have fears that I'll say to return to the UK in a year and a half and then wish that I hadn't though. There were clearly things about the UK that made us think about our options in the first place but I wonder if we'd just moved to the Lake District or Cornwall whether we'd still be saying them. We lived in sunny ole' Essex and commuted to London for work. We didn't have bad lives, good incomes and had family reasonably close. IF we do go home we've already said that we'll relocate and go somewhere else as I'm under the impression (from reading lots of people's moving home tales) that you can't just step in to your old shoes, old house and your old friends will still be sitting around waiting for you - that was clear when we moved here and promised ourselves that we'd skype and haven't. This would mean that we`ll take a drop in income but we`ve survived here on half the money we earned back home so would be able to do the same there.

Thank you to everyone for posting - please keep us updated on how life in Blighty goes for you LuvWelly and Spacecake and anyone else looking at moving back, it'll be good to hear from you if you do make the move.

luvwelly

Skype just doesn't work for me. The thing I found is that it is hard to make meaningful conversation with people when you only physically dip into their lives every couple of years. Because there is no shared daily experience, it gets harder and harder as time goes on.
I find however that when I do go home 'in the flesh' I can pick up with everyone as if it were only yesterday.
It is not just my Mum, my sister is also actively staying in touch as well.
I know my Mum was feeling as if she hardly knew her grandchildren after 2 years of not seeing them, but of course it was fine as soon as they physically met up again, spent several days living at her house and they are now happy to chat to her on the phone as well...because there has been an actual physical re-connection.

I would have happily gone back to my old house but OH's job transfer was elsewhere so during summer holidays I will taking kids back to stay with friends and family even though OH may have to work. This is a golden opportunity to see loads of everyone and really reconnect and an extended family Christmas Reunion in a hotel is booked so no one has to do any hard work!

I would say it's all going too smoothly but we are having major headaches with HR because there are too many people involved in the transfer of a single family from NZ to UK, within the same organisation.

Stormer999

ODD, no children here just an elder daughter and granddaughter in the UK. I worked in a stressful situation for many years so people tend to mean problems to me so I am happier living with my own company and that of my wife. I go where she goes and I am compliant enough to honour her wishes though we came as a pair and we openly discuss our feelings about where we live and likes and dislikes. Put me in a country without horrendous traffic jams and sardine packed "beauty spots" and depressing weather and I'll be happy no matter what you call it. I envy the peeps who do not have to wear shoes and are able to let their feet breathe and form naturally, after years of wearing leather my wife tells me I now have feet like a 'Hobbit'!
Here I can endulge my passion for empty peaceful countryside and beaches where I can go fishing without having to book a 'turn' at robbing costs. I could move on maybe Oz, Scotland would be ideal but for the weather but through life I have learned for me there is no going back........place yes, time no it's gone.
If my wife decided she had to return to where we came from I would follow her but at the moment I would rue greatly what beauty I am leaving behind.
Best wishes on your families decision.
Secret....I,m not wearing shoes...

ChessLover

The OP's original thread made me chuckle. I have some of the same reservations about NZ, so you're not alone. In fact, I'm in the process of relocating from NZ to the UK, which I'm looking forward to it, even though it's costing me a fortune. My primary reasons for moving back are, 1) NZ's economy is giving me serious cause for concern,(too many points to mention here) with but more importantly, much more importantly I Miss Britain!

ohdearydear

If I was the sort of person to write LOL, now would be the time!!! Your wife sounds just like my husband....he says I have frotoes....Frodo`s toes! The cheek... Anyhoo this is enough to put people off their dinners!

It sounds to me like NZ is the perfect place for you. We travelled NZ for a month in 2009 and absolutely loved the beauty of the south island - it`s why we wanted to come back. Alas, it`s not quite the same living here as it is travelling round in a heated camper van in the spring I will definitely make it my mission to get back down there though after the baby is born. I still stand by Kaikoura being my most favourite place in the world. Tuti's seafood curry is by far the best I've ever eaten!

There are so many people in the UK that wish that they had the opportunity to move here (I keep reminding myself of this) so I`m pleased that I`ve given it a shot, even if we do decide to return after 2 years. Like I say, something may change and I may want to stay....time will tell.

ps. You wouldn`t want to move to Scotland....parts get snowed in every winter! Waaaaay too cold...bbbrrrrrrrrrr...!

ohdearydear

Pleased to make you chuckle...there seems to be a lot of us around!

Do you mind me asking how long you've been in NZ? Will you be returning with family?

Go ahead, list your causes for concern about the economy! Another thing on my list of reasons to return is the drivers - was nearly hit AGAIN by someone today because they weren't looking where they were going (reversing down the road no less). I've managed to not list driving on any of my posts yet but today's driver was such a numpty that it worried me.... It scares me that children can drive cars here! Saying that, I don't like rollercoasters and got to aged 25 before I took my driving test so perhaps it's just me!

sue1234

We made a return after just over 3 months of being in Nz, like you the better way of living wasnt happening and never was going to, so why wait. We loved certain aspects of Nz, but knew there was nothing there, future wise, for our children.

I am soooooo happy where I am, Nz, did us a favour, we sold our house, so coming home we had to start again, I didnt rush into buying, we rented for 12 months, then we bought this place, in a different area to where we use to live, four bed detached, (with a big garden that nobody lives in),I look out of my bedroom window and I see fields, and I'm only 15 min away from manchester city centre.

We took so much for granted in UK before we went, didnt appreciate what was on our door step,so many places I'd never been, now, were away most weekends, from spring onwards, seeing all the scenery and history that this country has to offer.

New zealand was the best thing we'd ever done, it was an experience and a lesson for us in life.

Hope things work out for you, Sue.

kiwibrit101

[QUOTE=Bo-Jangles;10132648]I think 'Deary' that this country just suits the matey / blokey psyche much more. It is a very much more hostie and male orientated environment. Most blokes are like labradors and can get through the day knowing there's food, a little bit of loving and somewhere to sleep, they don't want for much else.

You have got to be kidding.....That would be as offensive as me saying "Most women are like the Bitch counter part and as long as they have a litter or two it will keep there hormones in check......No wonder Kiwis call us whingers.

janeyk

Hi Spacecake
Yes we are House on the market applying for jobs but not definate date might be here another 18 months yet!
We do not hate it here but are bored! we miss the UK big time watching the jubliee celebrations made be feel very proud. watching the football yesterday nothing changes! being on the same time zone as 80% of the family would be good instead of none! (I have close family in Canada and OZ)
good luck with your plans

pinkkristen

The other thing that strikes me as strange is how children AND adults walk down the street with no shoes! It`s not like they`re clean or have no stones - these people must have soles like leather. Each to their own!




Thats so funny, as my BIL moved from NZ to the UK a few years back and the first thing he did was walk down the to the local village shop with no shoes on - my sister was running down the street after him with a pair!!

NiChi

Hi, I realise these posts were from last month but I have only just found them. I have my side of the NZ-UK story if its of any use to anyone.

Im a Kiwi, and love NZ. However everything I love about it is out of my reach. We moved out of Auckland because we couldnt afford a family home there - so now we are miles from any beach and seeing adverts on telly with sunshine and sand make me miss living near the coast even more. Its like living just outside Disneyland, but not being allowed in. I wish the NZ dream was more accessible for the average family.

I moved to the UK when I was 13, did high school over there and then moved back at 18 - both times with my parents, and both times against my will haha.

I am now almost 30, married to a Maori boy and we have an almost 3 year old son. We are moving to the UK, along with my British parents as we believe that, for us, this is the best choice. All my extended family are over there and they are desperate to get us back, here we dont really see anyone from my husbands side.

NZ will always be home but I am desperate for my son to know about culture and history (not that NZ doesnt have this - but my no means at all on the same scale!).

As a teenager leaving the NZ education system and going to the UK one at 13, I was behind. Everyone had been learning French since forever, I didnt even know where to start with languages. When it came to history all I had been taught was about Japan...not Europe or the many amazing battles, wars etc. Of course we are talking 16 years ago (aghh), so I do not know what the education is like here now.

We also felt that if the sporty/outdoor life is missing in the UK, that is something we can give our son. If the schools can teach him French...then my husband can teach him rugby...but probably not the other way round.

I do not mean to offend any kiwis here, especially those who have their kids in school - Im sure that its a great system, this is just my view, based on my experience.

The NHS is also a god send. We cant afford to go to the dentist here at all, unless its an emergency. So thats something I am looking forward to.

I have been doubting our choice as just as we were about to make the visa application we discovered the law for spousal visa had just that week changed...to get there now is going to be a whole lot harder, with my husband not being granted his final ILR for 5 years, and their other crazy new financial requirements...but thats another story.

All the best, everything works out as it should in the end. Thats what Im telling myself anyways

Spacecake799

Hi,

I just wanted to say I feel you are spot on with your observations it is very much how I feel. We are lucky to live on the Shore but as the kids aren't interested in the beach what else is there.
A big reason for us going home is the Education, I have been really disappointed in it. My son will find it very hard but he loves history and Geography so why should'nt he do it.
Good luck with your move.