alfista1

Well after 2.5 years almost my wife has decided she'll never settle here.
Too much of a culture difference and awful weather.
She's made good friends though.

Impossible to return to her home country due to the cost of living.

We're looking at USA, possibly NC, (through work) or last option would be South Spain.

We have latin friends in USA in various parts so this would be ideal for her.

Difficult times but we'lll be making plans very soon. Quite sad and stressful really. But my son has gotten so much out of living here. Nothing we'll regret.

spouse of scouse

Sorry to hear this alfista, I remember chatting with you when your wife was applying from Uruguay, and how excited you both were when she got her visa.

You just never can tell, can you? I'm about 6 months behind your wife as I got my spouse visa in October 2015 (from Australia). I absolutely love living here, I even love the weather as I was well over the long, hot and dry summers of Perth. It's my born and bred Brit husband who can't settle, although after 25 years in Australia he was breaking his neck to move back!

Our loose plan is for me to get my British citizenship and then move to the south-west of Western Australia.

I really hope that wherever you end up living, US or Spain, that it's somewhere that you, your wife and your son are happy. That's all that really counts, isn't it. Best of luck and don't be a stranger

michali

I remember you well, alfista1! I am sorry your wife is finding it difficult to settle and I second everything SOS says. It is important that you find somewhere all of you will be happy. I firmly believe that we do not make mistakes in the moves we make in life....we only create experiences. Everywhere you live helps to build your life experience. I hope that wherever you decide to move to can happen without too much stress. The fact that you have some options is good!

I am sorry to hear your husband is still finding it hard to settle, SOS. It sounds like you have a plan though. Fortunately for us, we are both happy here and will be even happier when we have ILR!

spouse of scouse

Ah, glad to hear you're both happy here Michali Yes, once you have ILR you'll be able to completely relax. My FLR is April next year - I've taken a leaf out of your book and have a folder packed with evidence, to give myself a head start

It's very sad about scouse, but that's life. Even though I don't want to go back to Australia I'll be happier there than he is here. Mind you, after all these bloody moves around the world we'll probably end up skint!

michali

Would he be happier living in a different area of the U.K.? Maybe the South where it rains less? I hope he doesn't go back to Australia and regret it! Although if you have citizenship, you can always move back to the U.K., broke or otherwise!

spouse of scouse

He'd live in Italy in a heartbeat, even dragged me to Italian classes at Uni! (I quite enjoyed it really). He won't live anywhere else in the UK though, it's the winters more than anything. He can't explain it either, he readily admits that he knew what winters here were like as he lived here for 40 years. But that 25 years in Oz must have done something to his brain. Sunstroke, probably

ps Italy's not an option for me, even if it's still possible after the UK leaves the EU. I just don't have the stamina to start a new life in a country where I can't communicate fluently with the people who live and work around me.

SanDiegogirl

Sad to hear about this, especially with all the effort and expense you went through to move to the UK.

Is there not the possibility of sticking it out for another 2.5 years until she gets her ILR?

If you leave now then, if the US does not work out, and you want to return you'll be starting all over again

michali

That is a very good point!

spouse of scouse

As Michali said, a very good point. As much as scouse wants to go back to Australia, we're both agreed that we'll do the 5 years here. I'd cry if all that visa palaver was for nothing.

bats

Aren't good friends worth staying for?

michali

This reminded me of years ago when a few English families came to spend a few years in The Bahamas. The husbands were to work with the national airline and they loved it! However, I know at least two of the wives just could not settle in, could not adapt to a slightly different way of life, even though they were close to each other and made a few other friends through their children at school. Some people really cannot settle and the misery they feel cannot be compensated by friends or family. Those families whose wives were hated the experience had to return to the U.K. I felt sorry for the guys who were having a ball!

It is wonderful that alfista1 is so supportive and understanding. As we said before, it would be great if they could just hang on for a couple more years and secure citizenship....just in case!

alfista1

Thanks everyone for your kind and supportive comments. Very tough choice but we've got to make the transition out of the UK as smooth as possible for the sake of our son.


Been chatting with HR again and the offer of being relocated to the US is still on the table as long as they can finalize the company visa. Then they'll look into getting a L1B visa for me. Its all taking so long apparently. The office is set up, bank opened, we have an American manager working there but we're not at a point to start the L1 visas yet apparently.

But we'll have to have plan B also as the time frame is getting tight. I need to look into renewing my wife's visa as a result. Expires in Feb 2018.

Now I need to start looking at other threads about the process of renewing the spouse visa. I'm not sure about the process.
Going to jump on the USA forum also about L1 visas.

Thanks

BritInParis

It might be sticking it out for another 2.5 years if you can so she can get her ILR. As she is married to a British citizen she can naturalise directly afterwards. At least then you'll always have the option to come to the UK as a family without worrying about visas.

alfista1

Just an update.
My wife is feeling a little better right now although she's not sure how long she'll stay in the UK.

We're going through her FLR now.

Also buying a house!! Moving in a month or 2. A larger house which is our own will surely help.

We've also bought a lovely pup (Cavapoo) which keeps her company when I'm at work and son is at school.
The pup has helped enormously on these dark cold days.

michali

Your wife may just need a bit longer to feel settled. Everyone is different. Some feel at home straight away, others take longer and some never settle. I suspect that having a home of your own and a puppy will help. I recall your saying that your son was doing well in school and that will also help your wife.