Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

backagen,

Just one more question then: Are your grandparents in reasonable health? Niether is 'ailing' at the moment?

After what you've just posted, I'm thinking that you should definitely take the job in Queensland!!! You don't like your job in Adelaide and would've tried to change jobs anyway if you'd stayed there. And you still have until June 2009 to try this Queensland job out without jeopardizing your $25,000 first-home grant. The Queensland job is a great career move, and probably worth the risk (re your grandparents) because of what it could gain you in a year's time (secure job back home in UK where you can be with them 'stress-free'). Except for the possibly small risk regarding your G-parents, going for the Queensland option seems almost a no-brainer, as if you go that route you not only don't burn any bridges (as stated, you were going to leave your current job ANYWAY, plus you can afford to hold on to your land 'just in case'), but you also of course can always leave the job AT ANY TIME if for any reason it does not work out or you suddenly feel the need to return for an extended period to UK. I can't think of any good reason not to go for it (unless it isn't a recession-proof job??), there is little to lose, plus you'll probably find that you have a much clearer idea about where you want your life to go and what you should do within a few months of taking the job

Good luck!!!!

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

I'd probably tend to agree to a large extent, except that in order to qualify for the 1st home grants I expect I would need to get a smallish mortgage too and in order to do that I would probably need to have been in the same job for a while, so that's the only difficulty there/

In other words, if in say 3 months I decide Queenslands not for me and I want to move back to SA and build a house on the land, I probably couldn't because I'd have to find another job in Adelaide (and jobs in my preferred field are few and far between so it could take time) and then probably to get a home loan I would have to have been in that job a while. Most lenders prefer you to be in a job at least 6 months minimum.

Anyway to answer your question re my grandparents, they regularly get sick in different ways, but right now they're in reasonable health. They've both had serious problems (Grandad has had prostate cancer a few years ago and Gran has had 2 heart attacks a few years ago) but right now they just have the usual problems elderly people have, but nothing too serious.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Well, except for being able to spend precious time with my Grandparents while I still can, being around other relatives who I haven't spent much time with lately but would love to, and being able to expore my own country a bit and able to say that I'm home, and mean it!

I think there's a few positives there surely?

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Good points, except that the house I would build on the land would only cost me about $85000, (less the $25000 grant) so would actually only need to take a loan out for about $60000.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

backagen, I don't know how much you earn - but a 60,000 mortgage is not very much. And $25,000 is 30% deposit, although of course as you already own the land which has value in itself, the actual amount a bank would be lending on the VALUE of the property (house and land) would be even less than 70% - those are good comfortable numbers for the lender. You'd have to have a job of course to get a mortgage. I know things have changed in the last year re lending criteria. But to have to have had the same job for some minimum period before they'd offer you a mortgage (and such a small one at that)?? I strongly suggest you contact a couple of lenders first thing monday morning just to confirm that. As I said, I don't know what you do for a living/what your salary range is, but those figures you've quoted should make any bank pretty satisfied in terms of loan to value ratio. The mortgage interest rates are picked to continue to fall (certainly here in NZ, and so I've heard also for Australia) as well, so that the numbers will add up even more nicely with a lower interest rate. It was a while back now, but when we moved to NZ we were offered a mortgage within a few weeks of arriving, new job and all...

Don't GUESS!!! Find out for sure...

P.S. Would it be that difficult for you to find another job in Adelaide?? If so, a) don't leave the Queensland job, if it came to that, until you'd found a new job in Adelaide, and b) you didn't answer the question did you: will you be $25,000 (or close to it) better off in a year or two or three with the Queensland position?, and c) do you really want to stick around in Adelaide in that case??

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

I'd be about $15000 a year better off in the Queensland job.

I have tried to apply for home loans before, mainly to test the waters and see what I'd be eligible for. How long I had been in a job was one of the first questions every lender asked.

I think on the basis that the additional $14000 first home grant was no longer available in a year from now, I would have earnt that much extra anyway, plus of course I'd be earning that much extra on an ongoing basis every year. Financially therefore, if I wanted to keep the land any possibly move to Qld but then move back here and build on it in a year or so (provided I could get a decent job here again) then I would be slightly better off having taken the job in Qld for a year (or more).

Right this minute I'm leaning more towards the thought that money isn't everything and since I'm sick of stress and ready for a bit of a break from work, maybe I should just go for option 3.

Not quite sure though. Option 2 is still very tempting.

I think I have probably more or less ruled out option 1, so that's some progress at least!

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

backagen,

I really feel for you having to make this decision - my father would be 86 now, died exactly 2 years ago. I hadn't seen him for 4 years, and when I found out he was "probably dying" I felt I wasn't in a position financially to return to be with him. It would have taken me a day and a half of traveling from my home just to reach him and I thought I might miss getting there in time, plus I'd just done a business deal (that I never would have done if I'd known how close to death he was) that I had just put every dollar I had into and that required my full attention at that worst possible time if I didn't want to risk financial ruin. So as I agonized over what to do, precious days slipped by, and then he died. And now the bitter irony of it all: I was so devastated that I hadn't been with him (and it can hit you real hard afterwards, when hindsight becomes 20/20 vision and you know suddenly what you SHOULD have done), that it affected me for months and months and months.... and after all that, I completely neglected the business deal and I've paid for it very dearly since- in effect, I basically lost everything ANYWAY. Because I just couldn't function after I lost him (I had been very very close to him). Plus I had a lot of resentment towards certain of my siblings about how, as I only found about out in the last days of his life, he had been cared for (the sibling closest in distance to him, just a few hours drive away from the facility SHE had put him in, was not even with him when he died). We had arguments after he died too about inheritance items, which went on for over a year. It was all a big big mess.

What I'm trying to say here is that that if I had jsut gone to be with him as he was dying, so much of the bad stuff that happened afterwards would prob ably not have occured - because I would have at least had some closure (and now I will live the rest of my life without that), plus I could have dealt with all the other inheritance business while I was there and so none of the year-long bitter fight by e-mail would have taken place - I didn't get a single personal item of my dad's, I got big pieces of furniture and art work and such that he left me that made some of my siblings resentful, but my siblings took all of his few personal items, and I would've traded everything I got for just one little thing, one dog tag or his violin from when he was a kid or one of the peace signs he used to wear.... who would have guessed that just being there and able to 'grab' one of these things before anyone else could make off with it could've changed the direction of my life!! I don't know if you get what I''m trying to tell you. Your situation is not the same as mine was, but I know that all of us who have shared the experience of missing being with our cherished family members at the end share a pain that cannot ever be erased. We will be haunted forever. And those who made it back in time, they don't have that pain - they have something we will never have, that experience of having hugged their loved one(s) for the last time, held their hand, said thank you, or forgiven them, that closure - I envy them, they will not be haunted....

THe worst part of it all backagen is that that busines deal I had just done? I had had my father in mind when I did it, and I knew that I just had to get through 2 or 3 tough months for it to pay off, and then I was going to finally be in a position to take my kids with me back to be with him, or to have him come out to us. In my father's case though, he had had Parkinson's Disease for a while, and if I had been closer to my siblings back home I would have (or should' have any way) been better informed and known that I wouldn't have as much time as I thought I did to 'play with' before he died.. That's why I asked you if your grandparents are ailing in any way.

I thought that Queensland would be a good choice for you IF you thought tthere was a good chance they would still be relatively healthy and sound of mind in a year's time (of course we can none of us know for sure the future - but we can calculate the risks and base decisions from there). Because it was you yourself who thought it important to point out that, with the Queensland job, within a year you could well be transferred to UK - and that would be optimum wouldn't it?? If you went to UK now, in this recession, what chance would you have of getting a job that would 'keep' you? Is there any chance if things went badly that you would ever harbour any resentment towards your grandparents because you left good career prospects to be with them? You're young enough I would hazard that your memory of life in UK may be a bit rose-tinted too, and if you decide to return you need to prepare yourself and plan well mentally for things not being as rosy as you had hoped them to be. If you're already well prepared mentally for the worst, good for you!

So, do you know for sure within yourself that you will never resent your grandparents if you decide to go back 'because of them' and then things don't go well for you?

If you decide to go to Queensland, just keep in mind that you can always leave your job at any time. I will say again, that if you do go to Queensland, it could well be what you need to make up your mind for certain about what is the right thing for you to do - it's amazing how just making a move like that can help you suddenly see everything clearly. Seriously, you could take the job now, and change your mind at any time. From what you've said, there's a good chance that taking the Queensland option would make so many things fall into place in the not so distant future, so it's definitely still worth considering. I'd accept the job tomorrow, and then see how I feel over the next few days. I remember we had to choose between two jobs in two different cities a while back, and we spent such a lot of time agonizing over which to take,we had a week to choose and we kept them both waiting for our decision until the very last minute - and even then we weren't sure when we made the first phone call whether we were going to say 'yes' or 'no', LOL!! (we made a good choice, and were happy with it. But we may well have been happy if we'd chosen the other option too. Whatever, it worked out well)

Let us know how it goes!!

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Black sheep that's a very thoughtful post and I'm so sorry to hear about your experience with your dad. I guess the only consolation is that you're not the only person to have experienced something like that, and you had no way of knowing he would die when he did.

Still though, it certainly makes me think hard about how important people really are and how unimportant money and other things are, even though they might seem to be.

I'm sure I wouldn't resent my grandparents if I went back to UK and things were not as I would like because I would know that I made the decision to go back, I was not pressured into it by them or anyone else. In fact, everyone including my grandparents has been trying to persuade me now to move back to UK.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

bakagen, be careful - money may not be as important as other things, but don't make the mistake of believing it's UNimportant. We are financially ruined now, and our family is suffering for it. The key is to make decisions that take EVERYTHING into account, financial security included. It may be for instance that by taking this job in Queensland, that even in jjst a few months you could save enough to feel more comfortable about moving to UK without being assured of finding a job. You can PLAN for things in such a way that you risk little but gain much. Just think on that too....

Good luck!

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

and could that be because they are afraid they'd feel pressurized by you living with them. maybe a week or two might be OK.... but how long do you plan on staying/living with them?

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

In your heart, what do you really want to do?

Are you going back to the UK out of sentiment, feeling guilty if you don't, or is it your heartfelt passion to see England? If it is, how old are you and what are you going to do about a job? If you are quite young, 35 for example, you've got plenty of time and probably more opportunities employment wise. This requires a realistic and objective approach.

Your other options are staying where you are or an unknown quantity so it's a case of staying put and making the most of it or moving to QLD and beginning a new adventure.

This is just me being a business brain so ignore it if you want but depending on your age, I'd put financial security first, especially in this current climate.:blink:

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Well I'm 34.

Obviously in UK there's no guarantee I would find a satisfactory job quickly, whereas in Queensland I would already have one.

That being said, I have for a while now been thinking about taking a little time out from the stresses of work. The work I do can be incredibly stressful at times and that's not good for my health

I'm not really thinking of changing career because I don't want to do further study to qualify as anything else, and besides I am very good at what I do, and I know having tried lots of different types of jobs that almost all well paid jobs have stressful moments so to some extent that's inescapable (unless I win millions on the lottery which isn't likely since I don't buy tickets for it!!!)

So what I'm saying is if I did move to UK and it takes a while to find a good job, it needn't necessarily be a big problem, in fact I might enjoy some leisure time with my family, catching up with friends and exploring my own country and all it has to offer.

I would be ok financially for up to a year if necessary, although that would seriously eat into my savings which I want to reinvest in a house. Therefore ideally I would want to start work within 4-6 months max.

These are some of the things tempting me to go to UK, but then again if I move to Qld and take that job, maybe after a year or so I might be able to transfer to UK if a suitable position comes up, because the company has branches there.

That way I would get to experience life in Qld for a while, and then move to UK with a secure and well paid job.

Obviously there's no guarantee of that though.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

If you've got a year of savings to cover you through a non work period, that gives you a lot of flexibility. In this case, I'd go with the decision that makes you feel the happiest because basically you can afford it.:)

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

It's hell having to make those kinds of decisions.

However, I still believe that you should go. Your 34, very good at your job and have enough money as backup until you find a new job. Your grandparents are in their eighties and right now they are in good health but at that age things can change incredible quickly.

Anyway good luck whatever you do - at least by tomorrow afternoon you will have ruled one option out :)