Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

To cut a long story short, by Monday at the latest, I have to choose one of the following 3 options.

I have stayed awake late at night, and woken early in the mornings and thought about it all day at work, written endless lists of pros and cons, and none of this has got me any closer to making a decision. It just seems impossible.

Can anyone help please? I'm getting really desperate now!

OPTION 1.
Stay in Adelaide. I have a block of land here that I thought I had sold but the sale has fallen through. I could probably sell it again without too much delay but if I keep it, then since I own it outright (no mortgage) I could stay in Adelaide and take advantage of the $21000 first home grant, plus an extra $4000 grant from the SA government, and build a house on it very cheaply. However I would then have to commit to living in it for a minimum of a year after it's built.
MAIN POSITIVES = Cheap house, could have it paid off in 5 or 6 years.
MAIN NEGATIVES = Commits me to living in Adelaide AT LEAST 12 months AFTER it's built, and prevents me moving to UK and prevents me accepting a job in Queensland. Also I would want to look for another job in Adelaide because the one I have now is becoming unbearable and I can't see myself there much longer.

OPTION 2.
Accept the job I've been offered in Queensland.It's a good job on 30% more money than I'm on now.
MAIN POSITIVES = I would love the Queensland lifestyle, I would probably like the job and the money would be very good. The company I would be working for has branches in UK so after a year or so a transfer to UK might be possible.
MAIN NEGATIVES = I know nobody in Queensland so might be lonely and isolated for quite some time. Not sure I could see myself living there permanently. Prevents me moving to UK for at least a year or so.

OPTION 3.
Reject the job offer, sell the land, and move to UK asap.
MAIN POSITIVES = Ensures I get to spend some precious time with my elderly grandparents while I still can (they're in their late 80s). If I miss that opportunity I will never have it again. I would also love to be able to spend some time with my other relatives and friends in UK, and to explore my country and visit lots of places and enjoy all the fun things there are to do in UK, and be able to say "I'm home" and mean it!
MAIN NEGATIVES = No job to go to there. Would miss the opportunity to own a house and have it fully paid off within a few years. Lifestyle not as good in some ways as here.

So it's a direct choice between my grandparents, a house, or a good job and great lifestyle in Queensland.

Talk about impossible decisions. I don't think they come much more difficult than this!

I'm going insane so if anyone can help, please do!!!

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

i guess a lot of it comes down to money .....do you have enough savings so you can afford to live back in the UK and support yourself?

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

If I sell the land, I will have about $100,000 to go back with. I consider that enough to get me started quite comfortably.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

yep that would be a start as you say however one can't dip into ones capital for too long...that's for a rainy day. what about the job situation for you over there?

I guess for me reading between the lines I'd say go visit your grandparents but take option 2...that is the only one with the job offer, non of the remaining two options have any guarantees.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Backagen,

You still haven't made the decision then!

Tough one.

Ok. Just to throw another option in the pot - which is probably not going to help.

Sell the land. Take half and go back to the UK for 6 months. See your grandparents, do some touring, see friends etc.

Come back with the other half of the money, move to Queensland and find another job, put a deposit down on a house.

Bits of all options thrown together.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

how much would you make if you built the house, stayed for a year and then sold it ?????I know money does not buy happiness,but it sure is a better start

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Number 3.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

I'd say it depends on further details about #1:

As Lobbylou asked, how much extra would you make by building and selling a house? If it's an extra 20k, that's a big differene from an extra 100k ...

Do you have to live in the house for a year, or simply continue to own it for a year? If the latter, couldn't you rent it out for a year while you pursue Options 2 or 3, then sell it?

Also, how much total time are we talking about with Option 1? How long would it take to build the house?

I think if Option 1 wouldn't take more than 24-36 months, will yield a pot of cash, and especially if you can rent it out, it might be worth biting the bullet for a while in order to set yourself up for future long-term choices ... plus if you know you'll be making a stash of cash, you could spend some of it in advance by taking a couple of holidays to the UK during that time ...

Whenever I'm faced with tough decisions, I try to remind myself at least I'm lucky to have a choice ... Good luck with making your decision ;)

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

The way you have described your options I get the impression that you sub-consciously have picked option 3.

Good luck with whatever you do decide.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

omg option 3...duhh, one major drawback...no job and there is a recession on!!

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Yeah but he'd have the money from the land to get by on till he finds one.
He could go stay with the grandparents and live on tea and bacon butties :D

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

yep for sure, spend a little however i'm one not to dig into my savings and the UK aint cheap.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Yes, I agree. Number three seems to be the one he wants to choose. Good luck in whatever you think is right for you, though:D

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

There's an old trick.

If #2 was suddenly snatched away. No job in Queensland. What's your immediate gut feeling? Sick, or relief that it's not tempting you?

If some regulation (heritage right, ecology, whatever) said you couldn't build on that land. Have to keep it or sell it. What's the gut feeling?

I can't come up with a reason you can't go back to the UK that doesn't have all kinds of other issues, but you get the idea.

Okay, what if some bizarre twist had the Oz government on your doorstep saying you have to sell up and get out. They'll give you fair price for your land etc. Apart from pissed off at them, what's your reaction?

Bev

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Adelaide and Queensland will still be there in 2 years, your grandparents will not - keep the land if it makes you feel better as it is always easier to sell land than a house (no personal taste factors as it is vacant land) down the track.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Somebody once told me that if you have two choices and you can't decide then toss a coin. If you are dissapointed with the result then you know what to choose.

But you have three options :) I believe that deep down you want to do number 3. The 2 other options are just delaying you.

Good luck :)

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

I'm a businesswoman so here's what I'd do.

Unless your new job offer guantees you at least $21,000 on top of what you're earning now, I'd keep the land, build a house and stay in Adelaide.
I'd get on a plane and go and see my grandparents knowing that at their ages, they won't be here for long but if you mess up your life, it will take you a long time to get it back on track.

Get another job in Adelaide, make the most of your investment, 12 months is not long to wait, then make a decision then.

I live in QLD, it's hot, the mozzies have teeth and it's not the most dynamic place in Australia to run a business or exercise brain cells.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

That will require a bit of thought but it sounds like a good way to approach it so I will try that. Thanks.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Several bits of very good advice there thanks guys, I'll think those over today and see if it helps.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Do you listen to Suze Orman on CNBC every week? I do, and her motto is "People first, then money, then things" Puts it in a nutshell for me - the people arent going to be there forever (hence my overspending this week as well!:rofl:) and I know that your olds would be over the moon to have you nearby for a while.

Good luck!!!!

Edited to add - btw, check your stars - dont laugh - I made my big decision the other day then checked my stars (they are on the same page as the sudoku!) and mine, my son's and my daugher in law's were all really explicit that we should make the decision that we had actually already made. Yeah, yeah I know they are all general and all that but these particular ones were uncannily omniscient.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

option 1 for me, seems like it will give you more choices in the future.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

[QUOTE=quoll;6994650]Do you listen to Suze Orman on CNBC every week? I do, and her motto is "People first, then money, then things" Puts it in a nutshell for me - the people arent going to be there forever (hence my overspending this week as well!:rofl:) and I know that your olds would be over the moon to have you nearby for a while.

I love Suze Orman, she talks a lot of sense:thumbup:

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

[QUOTE=Marmalade;6994905]When I was a fully qualified and practising 'people pleaser' I probably would have agreed with Suze Orman. To some extent I do agree but I would now have to include conditions especially if I was considering such a huge lifestyle change not necessarily for my benefit.

If you've got a loving, kind supportive family, then yes, people first because they're worth it. You'll get an immense sense of love and appreciation back and no amount of money can compensate for this. If they are a bunch of taking, selfish, can't please any of them ratbags like I've got, then no way.
Whatever you decide only you can make the decision. If you go back to be with family though, make sure it's not because you'd be on a guilt trip.
If your grandparents love you, they will respect you regardless of what you decide.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Well my first instict would have been to put people first, and I'm still tempted to because I love my grandparents, I have other relatives in UK who I also love very much, I would enjoy the chance to really feel HOME and to explore my own country.

It would be a no brainer, that all these things are FAR more important than a good job or a nice cheap house, or the Gold Coast lifestyle.

However, what makes it hard, to say the least, is that I have already previously moved back to UK once (13 years ago though) and ended up coming back because I was so upset by the fact that the people I love so much over there basically treated me like I didn't exist. Mind you that didn't apply so much to my grandparents, it was more other relatives. However when I phoned my grandparents a couple of weeks ago and mentioned I was seriously considering moving back to UK, they tried (as they have every time I've mentioned it) to do their best to put me off, mainly saying the economy is bad, I'll have trouble finding work etc etc.

I think they mean well, I think they have my best intnetions at heart (God I wish I could say "I know" instead of "I think") but to some degree they have been successful in putting me off.

I'll go check my horoscope now!

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Just had a quick look at this thread and you do have some hard choices but when in doubt follow your heart, well that`s what people tell me;) I think as somebody has pointed out, that you have already deep down chosen no.3 and I think you are now trying to justify eliminating the first 2 options which I imagine are not easy. My only advice would be choose were you will feel happiest and where you want to live your life. If its the UK then option 3 but if its OZ then 1 0 2.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Your grandparents are in their 80's? You have a block of land that you own outright with no mortgage? WIth the wisdom of hindsight, here's my advice: keep your land, and go back to UK and share that precious time with your grandparents. If you don't go back now, and something happens to either or both of them in the next year, you will very likely regret for the rest of your life having missed that time with them. Surely even if you leave now for UK, and then return to Oz in say a year or so, you will still get the benefit of the $21,000 first-time home owner's grant on your return?

As for the job in Queensland - is this a once in a lifetime opportunity that will never be repeated? Is there any way they would hire you say in a year (or 6 months), if you told them you wanted the job but can't take it right now? Have you tried discussing your situation with them yet and seeing if you can come up with any mutually agreeable solution? YOu have nothing to lose really in doing so...

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Try http://www.astrologyzone.com

I think after a long absence it can be a big mistake to expect people we were once close to to be instantly a big part of our lives, even if we've been in touch, visited frequently etc. Wherever we settle, we have to build a new life. Just as we did when emigrating in the first place.The old relationships will find a new form, better or worse depending.

Bev

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Agree with Bev. I also think that you must remember why you left in the first place and if you were unhappy at that time. I can't believe how many people get homesick, then go straight back to the situation they were trying to escape from. I had a very happy life, I was dragged kicking and screaming here so I intend to go back to my happy life, not necessarily the people.
Make sure you're not chasing rainbows. :)

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Forget Option 3 there does not seem to be any positive

You are really focusing on 21K which is the only carrot holding you back from Option 2.

My advice for what its worth is go for Option 2, on the following basis

$21k home buyers grant versus a 10% drop in price on $500k home ($50k) - you do the maths which one is more enticing?

30% increase in pay in a job you like? versus 30% drop to work where you hate?

Do you really need to be asking ???

Further sit on the land, build in another 12 months at substantial less build price than today. Rent it out while renting where you end up.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Thanks Black sheep. Well I could maybe keep the land and move to UK but the trouble is I would have VERY little money to move over with, and if I'm going to move to UK I would really want to have a bit of money behind me to help me survive until I get a job and to get me into a rented house and for all the other expenses that come up when starting off in a new place.

In other words, I really will have to sell the land if I am going to move back to UK. Keeping the land and moving to Queensland (with the possibility of moving back here after a year or so) is more realistic because in Queensland I would have an income immediately so no need to have a large amount of money in the bank.

The first home owners grant in South Australia is currently $25000, but only until about June 2009, then it drops back down to $11000.

As for the job in Qld, obviously it's available now but almost certainly won't be in a year from now as they'll have someone else by then. They only have one such position in Queensland so unless it just happened that they employed someone else and that person leaves at the exact time I decide in a year or so that I want the job, it wouldn't work.

I have been negotiating with the company and they are willing to give me an additional week of leave (unpaid) in about 6 months in addition to the 2 weeks paid leave I would have already earned by then, to enable me to take a 3 week visit to UK.

The company really wants me on board and they have shown that they are willing to be flexible to get me, but there's virtually no chance of putting the offer "on hold" so to speak, for a year.

I completely agree that if I don't spend time with my grandparents and they die then I could very well regret it forever. On the other hand, the company I would be working for in Qld has branches in UK so there is a possibility of transferring there in about a year if a suitable position comes up, which would mean I could experience living in Queensland and then move back to UK with the benefit of already having a good job to go to.

It is possible that could work out very well if my grandparents were still alive by then, which they might be.

On the other hand, they might well not.

It may be starting to sound like I'm perhaps over-analysing all this, but as you can see there's a lot to consider and all of it is important.

I basically have to make some kind of decision about the Queensland job, one way or the other by Monday, so if anyone has further advice please let me know.

I intend to spend all day tomorrow thinking about it and forcing myself to decide on the job in Queensland.

If I take it, then I will have to move to Qld, and the only remaining decision is do I keep the land or sell it.

If I don't take the job, then I still have to decide if I stay in Adelaide a bit longer (and probably look for another job) or move to UK.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

backagen,

Just one more question then: Are your grandparents in reasonable health? Niether is 'ailing' at the moment?

After what you've just posted, I'm thinking that you should definitely take the job in Queensland!!! You don't like your job in Adelaide and would've tried to change jobs anyway if you'd stayed there. And you still have until June 2009 to try this Queensland job out without jeopardizing your $25,000 first-home grant. The Queensland job is a great career move, and probably worth the risk (re your grandparents) because of what it could gain you in a year's time (secure job back home in UK where you can be with them 'stress-free'). Except for the possibly small risk regarding your G-parents, going for the Queensland option seems almost a no-brainer, as if you go that route you not only don't burn any bridges (as stated, you were going to leave your current job ANYWAY, plus you can afford to hold on to your land 'just in case'), but you also of course can always leave the job AT ANY TIME if for any reason it does not work out or you suddenly feel the need to return for an extended period to UK. I can't think of any good reason not to go for it (unless it isn't a recession-proof job??), there is little to lose, plus you'll probably find that you have a much clearer idea about where you want your life to go and what you should do within a few months of taking the job

Good luck!!!!

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

I'd probably tend to agree to a large extent, except that in order to qualify for the 1st home grants I expect I would need to get a smallish mortgage too and in order to do that I would probably need to have been in the same job for a while, so that's the only difficulty there/

In other words, if in say 3 months I decide Queenslands not for me and I want to move back to SA and build a house on the land, I probably couldn't because I'd have to find another job in Adelaide (and jobs in my preferred field are few and far between so it could take time) and then probably to get a home loan I would have to have been in that job a while. Most lenders prefer you to be in a job at least 6 months minimum.

Anyway to answer your question re my grandparents, they regularly get sick in different ways, but right now they're in reasonable health. They've both had serious problems (Grandad has had prostate cancer a few years ago and Gran has had 2 heart attacks a few years ago) but right now they just have the usual problems elderly people have, but nothing too serious.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Well, except for being able to spend precious time with my Grandparents while I still can, being around other relatives who I haven't spent much time with lately but would love to, and being able to expore my own country a bit and able to say that I'm home, and mean it!

I think there's a few positives there surely?

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Good points, except that the house I would build on the land would only cost me about $85000, (less the $25000 grant) so would actually only need to take a loan out for about $60000.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

backagen, I don't know how much you earn - but a 60,000 mortgage is not very much. And $25,000 is 30% deposit, although of course as you already own the land which has value in itself, the actual amount a bank would be lending on the VALUE of the property (house and land) would be even less than 70% - those are good comfortable numbers for the lender. You'd have to have a job of course to get a mortgage. I know things have changed in the last year re lending criteria. But to have to have had the same job for some minimum period before they'd offer you a mortgage (and such a small one at that)?? I strongly suggest you contact a couple of lenders first thing monday morning just to confirm that. As I said, I don't know what you do for a living/what your salary range is, but those figures you've quoted should make any bank pretty satisfied in terms of loan to value ratio. The mortgage interest rates are picked to continue to fall (certainly here in NZ, and so I've heard also for Australia) as well, so that the numbers will add up even more nicely with a lower interest rate. It was a while back now, but when we moved to NZ we were offered a mortgage within a few weeks of arriving, new job and all...

Don't GUESS!!! Find out for sure...

P.S. Would it be that difficult for you to find another job in Adelaide?? If so, a) don't leave the Queensland job, if it came to that, until you'd found a new job in Adelaide, and b) you didn't answer the question did you: will you be $25,000 (or close to it) better off in a year or two or three with the Queensland position?, and c) do you really want to stick around in Adelaide in that case??

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

I'd be about $15000 a year better off in the Queensland job.

I have tried to apply for home loans before, mainly to test the waters and see what I'd be eligible for. How long I had been in a job was one of the first questions every lender asked.

I think on the basis that the additional $14000 first home grant was no longer available in a year from now, I would have earnt that much extra anyway, plus of course I'd be earning that much extra on an ongoing basis every year. Financially therefore, if I wanted to keep the land any possibly move to Qld but then move back here and build on it in a year or so (provided I could get a decent job here again) then I would be slightly better off having taken the job in Qld for a year (or more).

Right this minute I'm leaning more towards the thought that money isn't everything and since I'm sick of stress and ready for a bit of a break from work, maybe I should just go for option 3.

Not quite sure though. Option 2 is still very tempting.

I think I have probably more or less ruled out option 1, so that's some progress at least!

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

backagen,

I really feel for you having to make this decision - my father would be 86 now, died exactly 2 years ago. I hadn't seen him for 4 years, and when I found out he was "probably dying" I felt I wasn't in a position financially to return to be with him. It would have taken me a day and a half of traveling from my home just to reach him and I thought I might miss getting there in time, plus I'd just done a business deal (that I never would have done if I'd known how close to death he was) that I had just put every dollar I had into and that required my full attention at that worst possible time if I didn't want to risk financial ruin. So as I agonized over what to do, precious days slipped by, and then he died. And now the bitter irony of it all: I was so devastated that I hadn't been with him (and it can hit you real hard afterwards, when hindsight becomes 20/20 vision and you know suddenly what you SHOULD have done), that it affected me for months and months and months.... and after all that, I completely neglected the business deal and I've paid for it very dearly since- in effect, I basically lost everything ANYWAY. Because I just couldn't function after I lost him (I had been very very close to him). Plus I had a lot of resentment towards certain of my siblings about how, as I only found about out in the last days of his life, he had been cared for (the sibling closest in distance to him, just a few hours drive away from the facility SHE had put him in, was not even with him when he died). We had arguments after he died too about inheritance items, which went on for over a year. It was all a big big mess.

What I'm trying to say here is that that if I had jsut gone to be with him as he was dying, so much of the bad stuff that happened afterwards would prob ably not have occured - because I would have at least had some closure (and now I will live the rest of my life without that), plus I could have dealt with all the other inheritance business while I was there and so none of the year-long bitter fight by e-mail would have taken place - I didn't get a single personal item of my dad's, I got big pieces of furniture and art work and such that he left me that made some of my siblings resentful, but my siblings took all of his few personal items, and I would've traded everything I got for just one little thing, one dog tag or his violin from when he was a kid or one of the peace signs he used to wear.... who would have guessed that just being there and able to 'grab' one of these things before anyone else could make off with it could've changed the direction of my life!! I don't know if you get what I''m trying to tell you. Your situation is not the same as mine was, but I know that all of us who have shared the experience of missing being with our cherished family members at the end share a pain that cannot ever be erased. We will be haunted forever. And those who made it back in time, they don't have that pain - they have something we will never have, that experience of having hugged their loved one(s) for the last time, held their hand, said thank you, or forgiven them, that closure - I envy them, they will not be haunted....

THe worst part of it all backagen is that that busines deal I had just done? I had had my father in mind when I did it, and I knew that I just had to get through 2 or 3 tough months for it to pay off, and then I was going to finally be in a position to take my kids with me back to be with him, or to have him come out to us. In my father's case though, he had had Parkinson's Disease for a while, and if I had been closer to my siblings back home I would have (or should' have any way) been better informed and known that I wouldn't have as much time as I thought I did to 'play with' before he died.. That's why I asked you if your grandparents are ailing in any way.

I thought that Queensland would be a good choice for you IF you thought tthere was a good chance they would still be relatively healthy and sound of mind in a year's time (of course we can none of us know for sure the future - but we can calculate the risks and base decisions from there). Because it was you yourself who thought it important to point out that, with the Queensland job, within a year you could well be transferred to UK - and that would be optimum wouldn't it?? If you went to UK now, in this recession, what chance would you have of getting a job that would 'keep' you? Is there any chance if things went badly that you would ever harbour any resentment towards your grandparents because you left good career prospects to be with them? You're young enough I would hazard that your memory of life in UK may be a bit rose-tinted too, and if you decide to return you need to prepare yourself and plan well mentally for things not being as rosy as you had hoped them to be. If you're already well prepared mentally for the worst, good for you!

So, do you know for sure within yourself that you will never resent your grandparents if you decide to go back 'because of them' and then things don't go well for you?

If you decide to go to Queensland, just keep in mind that you can always leave your job at any time. I will say again, that if you do go to Queensland, it could well be what you need to make up your mind for certain about what is the right thing for you to do - it's amazing how just making a move like that can help you suddenly see everything clearly. Seriously, you could take the job now, and change your mind at any time. From what you've said, there's a good chance that taking the Queensland option would make so many things fall into place in the not so distant future, so it's definitely still worth considering. I'd accept the job tomorrow, and then see how I feel over the next few days. I remember we had to choose between two jobs in two different cities a while back, and we spent such a lot of time agonizing over which to take,we had a week to choose and we kept them both waiting for our decision until the very last minute - and even then we weren't sure when we made the first phone call whether we were going to say 'yes' or 'no', LOL!! (we made a good choice, and were happy with it. But we may well have been happy if we'd chosen the other option too. Whatever, it worked out well)

Let us know how it goes!!

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

Black sheep that's a very thoughtful post and I'm so sorry to hear about your experience with your dad. I guess the only consolation is that you're not the only person to have experienced something like that, and you had no way of knowing he would die when he did.

Still though, it certainly makes me think hard about how important people really are and how unimportant money and other things are, even though they might seem to be.

I'm sure I wouldn't resent my grandparents if I went back to UK and things were not as I would like because I would know that I made the decision to go back, I was not pressured into it by them or anyone else. In fact, everyone including my grandparents has been trying to persuade me now to move back to UK.

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

bakagen, be careful - money may not be as important as other things, but don't make the mistake of believing it's UNimportant. We are financially ruined now, and our family is suffering for it. The key is to make decisions that take EVERYTHING into account, financial security included. It may be for instance that by taking this job in Queensland, that even in jjst a few months you could save enough to feel more comfortable about moving to UK without being assured of finding a job. You can PLAN for things in such a way that you risk little but gain much. Just think on that too....

Good luck!

Re: Need to make a decision fast, please help!
 

and could that be because they are afraid they'd feel pressurized by you living with them. maybe a week or two might be OK.... but how long do you plan on staying/living with them?