diana97

Hello everyone, i am new to this website and I have to say it is a godsend reading all your stories, I am so grateful to have found it! I am writing this with a huge lump in my throat and I don't know where to turn. I wondered if any of you have experience with moving an elderly relative back to Britain. My parents left Wales in the late 60s. Many years later they divorced and my father returned. My mother was diagnosed with stomach cancer earlier this year and has had 2 rounds of chemo. It has nearly destroyed her and she has been in hospital for the last 3 weeks. Thankfully, my brother (who also moved back to Wales) is with her. I will be flying out myself shortly. The plan was for her to have more chemo and then possibly have her stomach removed. She is 74 and was a nurse when younger. She has decided, effectively, not to have the stomach surgery and return to Wales to die. She will live with my brother. She told me this last night and i am destroyed. However, I want to get her back here before it's too late. Does anyone have stories they can tell me of a similar nature? I am thinking of packing her up with suitcases and getting on the plane, leaving her house until I can return and deal with it. Can I get her on the NHS, even just for pain relief? She is a British Citizen but obviously not a resident for many years. I can understand why she doesn't want the surgery. Is there a point at which airlines won't take sick passengers? Thankfully, it is only a 7 hour flight but I am terrified. Would any of you have any advice you can give me? Thank you so much.

SomersetGirl

Hi Diana, So sorry to hear your sad story...that is a really tough position to be in. I can't really give you any advice on the airline situation, but recommend calling Westjet or Air Canada and see if they can help you. One thing I want to mention is that if you sell your Mum's house after she has left Canada, you will be liable for capital gains. The exemption is for Canadian residents only. I realize you are probably not thinking about money at a time like this, but still it is a lot of money to lose if you don't have to. You may want to check with Revenue Canada and see if they have any rules for special cases such as this. I wish you and your Mum all the best.

ann m

What a very sad and difficult situation for you all and you have my sympathies.

Like Somerset Girl suggests, I would see if you or your mum can take a couple of days, or at least an appointment with a lawyer to sort out her assets and financial affairs, even if it means clarifying or making a will. I know it sounds harsh, but it could potentially be such an enormous mess to sort out for you if you don't.

I've done the will/probate/executor/bank/finances bit twice (albeit in the same country) and when you are feeling wobbly and low, the last thing you need is frustrating bureaucracy.

With regards to the NHS - you or your mum will make it clear she has come back to the UK to reside there and be taken care of by her family. I doubt you will have many problems. If she can bring a case load of her notes and treatments so far, I'm sure that would be helpful, but not essential.

Best wishes.