jkbrit1031

Hi all. I have lived in California for 30 years but am planning on returning in a couple years to retire. There are many reasons for this one of which is being closer to ageing parents but also I do not like the direction the US is going and I don’t believe it will improve. My question is that I will be returning as a single woman. I don’t really have any friends left from my old days there as it has been so long. I am worried I will be lonely. Question is how easy have you found it to make friends upon return if you are single and do not have younger kids? Thx

durham_lad

Good luck with the preparations for your planned move. Our daughter in California is moving back to England for much the same reasons you mention, we are the aging parents she wants to live close to. She has lived in the USA for 35 years, the last 9 years in the LA area.

We have found the easiest way to make new friends is by volunteering, and joining local groups such as walking groups, knitting groups, lawn green bowling etc.

jkbrit1031

Thanks. I’m so nervous about this as I’m such an introvert.

spouse of scouse

When my husband (a Brit) and I (Australian) moved back/to the UK, we unintentionally found a great and easy way to get to know people in our neighbourhood - walking our dog!

Seeing the same people all the time, interactions move from a smile and a hello to getting to know each other's names (and their dogs names), general chit-chat about the weather and what's happening locally, to longer chats. It's up to you whether or not to seek to progress this casual contact to a deeper friendship, but just having these frequent and pleasant interactions with people helped so much in feeling settled and 'connected' to our local community.

There was a church over the road from us that ran a weekly Foodbank, which I volunteered to assist at. That was a great experience too.

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself, just doing something you enjoy (as suggested, local groups and volunteering are great ways to meet people), but also even something as simple as dog walking or gardening at the front of your own home or in an allotment will provide opportunities to interact with other people. Best of luck with your move back home

robin1234

I agree with other suggestions, dog, volunteering, allotment etc. Another thing I did in England was take the bus everywhere. It’s really easy to strike up a conversation at the bus stop and on the bus. Absolutely no pressure, since everyone accepts “I’m on the bus for 35 minutes. Might as well swap life-stories, trash the government, discuss ornithology” (or whatever.) My place in UK is a sleepy small town in rural Norfolk, but I found that a surprisingly large number of random people either have lived in the US, or have children who live in the US etc.

Good luck with your move!

durham_lad

Our son is a big introvert but got to know his neighbours really well through gardening like this. I once offered to clip his front hedge for him as it was looking like it needed it but he said no, because he likes to chat with his neighbours while he hand clips it. He had his front garden landscaped, with all the lawn removed and instead it is decorative stones with loads of pots of different flowers that he enjoys managing, and talking to his neighbours about it all.

spouse of scouse

That's lovely to hear DL.

Your son is probably known to even more of the people in his neighbourhood than he realises, he'll be 'the man with the lovely garden'. I was chatting with a woman in the checkout line of a local shop, it started with her commenting on my accent and we found out that we lived on the same street. I was trying to explain where our house was located along the street and she said 'is it the done up house?' We'd renovated our Victorian semi and yes, it was the 'done up house'

Johnboyuk

Beware that this is not everywhere. I live in a commuter area where people are stressed to the hilt and will hardly give you the time of day. The modus operandi is avoid eye contact at all costs.

EliDaBulldog

I am moving back to the UK after 35 years in the USA. I am completely disgusted by what is happening in the US. I fear for my life, just going to the grocery store! The horrible state of politics in the country, guns and the GOP taking control in the fall, my god, I cant get out fast enough!
I am a single and 51 and moving back to the UK, where I only have family, no friends to speak of. I'm also a bit on the shy side and dont make new friends easily either. My family is very large and there will be lots of social activities. I also will be working in an office, in Canary wharf, three days a week. Hopefully through the office and socializing I will be able to make some friends. Best of luck on your move!