kiloco

So my family and I have decided to make the move back to the UK. I have been in Canada for almost 12 years and my senior parents joined me 2 years ago. They are not settling very well - my mum especially and they are finding the winters difficult and are very isolated (even though we live in a small city).
We are waiting until COVID calms itself down a little before making the move but I am looking for any and all advice that people can give us to help with sorting out the move - especially if you took back furniture etc or if you had pets that you brought back over with you - bonus points if you did it from Alberta, Canada lol

Like I said, any and all advice is truly appreciated. When I moved here I was 24 and literally travelled here with just what I could fit into my 2 suitcases....now I have a house that I will have to sell and a dog that I can't imagine life without. But as an only child I now need to make some sacrifices and do what is best for my family - my parents moved here to be with me but now I need to move back for them.

Thanks in advance
K

brits1

​​​​​​If you yourself are truly happy living in Canada then stay, my dad was an only child and he use to say to me..go live your life as I think he "clipped his own wings" when he really wanted to travel (he later made up for that much later on his his life). Your mum and dad have "given it a go" and you have helped them do this..they have not settled and if they want to leave Canada and you don't you might think about helping them to resettle somewhere they want to live. It's hard I know, I am a parent myself and in an ideal world you all want to live nearish by to each other etc but it's not so great if there not happy "living up the road" you just want your children to be happy and hopefully your parents will feel the same way about you....that is of course if you want to stay in Canada, and enjoy "The holidays" best wishes

scilly

I tend to agree with brits1 in the post above.

I was basically a second single child as my brother was so many years older than I was that we never had a childhood holiday together, so no memories of that sort.

When I got engaged and told my widowed Dad that we were moving to North America immediately after the wedding, he said "Good on you, girl. I wish I could do it. It's your life, now." Brother said similar, and added "don't have any regrets." OH had a very similar conversation with his parents, and so did his much younger sister when she decided to emigrate from England.

Fast forward about 30 years, my daughter, an only child, comes home, says "Mum. we're engaged, and we're going to live in Nova Scotia".

Now, I know that is still in Canada, but it takes just as long to fly from BC to NS as it does from BC to the UK, and also costs much more.

OH and I both said "Go, with our best wishes. It's your life now. We'll visit back and forth as long as we can."

Since that day, we have both retired, we're now in our 80s, we have so far managed to have at least one trip to NS each year, and daughter has managed one trip this way around Easter break. This year has been the oddity!

We take care of ourselves, we know how we want to live, know how we will change our living arrangements as and when that becomes necessary ................... and are making sure that we have sufficient money to do what we want without impinging on daughter's life.

IMHO, it would have been extremely selfish for me to decide that my daughter had to spend half her life taking care of us as well as her own family.

It's our life, not hers.

I'm now talking to you as a senior parent ................ please think very carefully about what YOU want to do, and very carefully about how your parents think.

Do you really want to go back to the UK?? Would you much prefer to stay in Canada? Have you got options to lead at least the same level of life and earn a similar income there as you have here?

Have you asked them whether they actually want you to give up a good life and go back with them?

Finally, would you settle back in the UK after 12 years away? Think about your old friends, their lives have changed as much as yours. Will you still have anything in common with them?

Munster

Sorry to bump a slightly older thread but I just want to say all of your responses are lovely. I worry about my parents a lot, as I've been away for ten years and they're now in their 70s. I have been seriously considering a move back to be with them as they get older, and regardless of what I decide it's so nice to hear your perspectives as parents on what you want for your kids.

Good luck to OP and your move if you decide to do it. Here is a website I found for shipping pets from Canada to the UK, if that is helpful to you.

scot47

The life you had 12 years ago is gone. You cannot just go back and resume life as it was. That is the curse of the Expat.

brits1

Some expats do just that....two friends of mine one lived in America and the other Canada did just that... they are all very close to their families and have the same friends from school plus made new ones and both returned to the market towns (different ends if the country) they lived before migrating, it's like they have never been away (their words not mine) now for somen this is the case and others not so.

durham_lad

Exactly our experience. We did a trial run and rented a house for 6 months in the same market town we had lived and where our children were born and it felt like we’d never been away. A few years later we moved back from the USA after 29 years away to that same town and we absolutely love it, many friends here live in the same houses, others have moved house but still live in the same town.

However, I think it is better for those thinking of returning after so long away to be prepared for it likely to have changed.

MartynK

That's the joy of it, not the curse. Nothing will ever be the same again...