Leeds_Lass

Hello all

Been a while since I was here but I'm in a bit of a crisis and need advice.

My marriage is pretty much done with, it's a matter of time before we go to see about starting divorce proceedings. I'm not kidding myself any longer. It's been fighting since day one and both of us have had enough.

I want to move back to the UK (Leeds) if this does happen but I'll be moving back with little savings, under $5000 for sure and with the exchange rate that will be a couple of thousand English pounds if I'm lucky. I'll also have nowhere to live. I had hoped that if the worst did happen and I did split with my husband that I could move back in with my family but apparently my relationship with them isn't as good as I once thought and my family has told me that I wouldn't be welcome to do that, even until I got back on my feet. I do have friends that I'm sure would put me up for a week or so but where would I go from there? I think I could find a job easily enough.

I could privately rent but in Leeds you're talking around 500 pounds per month which would mean a roof over my head but that would eat up everything so there'd be nothing to put away for saving up for a place of my own. For what I would earn I'd be lucky to be able to pay this much anyway.

I doubt very much I'd be seen as priority by the council, I'd be a single woman no children. I've heard there are nightmare waiting list times too for single people.

Does anyone have any links to rental agencies or housing agencies that might rent cheaper than average? Or any advise at all? I'm trying to look at options. I feel so down right now, I'm 34 years old and I have nothing. When I moved over here everone told me that it would be alright, if it didn't work out I could just move back. Well everyone was wrong, I can't just do that. Not that easy.

TruBrit

awww that's a tough call. no uk family/friends to stay with until you get a job? somebody just posted this shelter website that might help....http://england.shelter.org.uk/

Elvira

Have a look at Gumtree - lots of information there:

http://leeds.gumtree.com/

Get a casual job in a bar, network with some old pals to find a flatshare....... you're young, you'll get back on your feet!

Leeds_Lass

Thanks for the links. Elvira, you make it sound so easy, yet it feels like I've got such a mountain to climb. No private pension, no job, no savings, no home I know I'll get back on my feet eventually (that being the key word here) but I also want to own my own house, even though it would be a small one. All I hear from friends is how hard it is to get on the property ladder and how expensive it is. I just feel so hopeless right now.

Elvira

No rush to get on the 'property ladder' - houses will be a lot cheaper 2 years from now...

www.fool.co.uk - another useful site

Leeds_Lass

Another great link, thank you. I just feel that at 34, I should be settled by now. I want to be stable, I don't want to be starting over again. I do realise though that I can't change the past and my decision to move over here and this is the result. Just wish I hadn't moved over here, worst thing I ever did.

Thanks again, I appreciate the links and the encouragement.

TruBrit

you are so lucky you don't have any kids to worry about...that makes your life so much easier.....go girl and have fun and don't look back

Dave_Was

I think it all depends how you feel. I know with my parents they didn't really get off the ground till there early 40's. I have a friend in his early 50's who had a huge personal setback and lost everything and it's amazing how he's got himself on his feet again and now he's really living life.

Sometimes it's really hard to look into the future and see a way out, but the only way is up!!

Sometimes I really regret moving out to the US but as my father says you come into the world with nothing and you'll leave with nothing. There's no point regretting the past as it's the past and done with now. I know that it's one of those things that's easy to say, but I really wish you the best of luck.

Jay Bird

Hey Leeds Lass.....c'mon, don't give up! I'm fast approaching an age I'd rather not discuss......60 (ouch!)...... and Mr Oldbag and I have just returned after almost 4 years in Canada.......it's been a huge leap for us. If we can do it at almost twice your age.....

Don't laugh, but what about a hostel, short-term? And that gumtree website is really good; I reckon you'd find a flat or house share pretty soon. Don't despair, girl....this is a new beginning for you.......okay, it's frightening, but you have the chance to reinvent yourself. Go for it!

Nu-Shooz

I'm from Leeds and would prefer to be skint there, than anywhere else. It is going to be hard for you, i know exactly how you feel. Get back to Leeds and i'm sure a job will come by in no time. You will just have to start from fresh and build your way up again. Don't let your age put you off, you are still very young with the rest of your life to look forward to. Think of it as a new beginning, new life.

caledonia

dont know what kind of work you do/are looking for but it might be an idea to look for a job that comes with a room - maybe with a big hotel, blackpool or even a holiday camp like Pontins! you would maybe need to go further afield than leeds though - i know some uni mates used to do this in brighton and london but that was years ago and things may have changed. also, the inverness hotels that i used to work in also used to give a room to outsiders who came to work. may not what you would want long term but at least in the begining it would give you accomodation and the chance to get a bit of cash together.
good luck, you are in a tough position but you can do it.

lollyno1

im single and 48. sold everything, gave up permanent job and moved to aus...came back four months later!

Im back on the property ladder, have a permanent job starting in September but still single...

Im sure with your determination and sense of adventure (which you used to move to another country) will stand you in good stead.

I just want to wish you luck.

Tootsie Frickensprinkles

It has been a while since we heard from you hasn't it. I was sure there was a Lass who wasn't too happy but always got you confused with Bradford_Lass and assumed I was just going a bit mad.

Sorry it has come to this but having made the move back myself at your age, still unknown as to whether the American will come or not I just wanted to say we are not alone. Half my old peer group arent settled and half of them never left the country in the first place. There are more 30 something singles around of both sexes than I ever imagined.

I have money tied up in QAR pegged to the dollar myself and I've been watching the forecasts. Whilst there are no guarantees of course, the trend looks to be headed downwards and by Feb of next year quite a few analysts seem to be in agreement that the dollar could be back at 1.70ish to the pound. Neither of us are talking about huge cash stashes, but it will all help.

Leeds_Lass

So much encouragement and to a girl who has been AWOL for almost a year. Thank you. I can see a little bit of a light at the end of the tunnel and a little bit of hope has returned to me. I was so panicked earlier this week I honestly couldn't think straight.

I've just started the US citizenship process so intend to see that through before I do anything. The good news is the Husband and I have a good friendship underneath a bad marriage. He's offered to let me stay on at the house if we do separate so I'm going to be super sweet until the USC process is done with, will also let me get some more savings under me belt. Feel very cold and calculating doing this but who knows what the future holds and I've got to look after myself, right?

Tootsie Frickensprinkles

You do, and the friendship will help enormously. There is only one thing worse than a separation and that's an acrimonious separation. Some time to plan properly will make alot of difference.

If you were London_Lass I could prolly be of a little more help, but ya a few hundred miles too north